Thursday, October 22, 2009

Small but Strong

For class today we got to have lunch with a poet. So instead of sitting at desks we all sat around the dinner table and got to ask the poet, Sue Sinclair many different questions. It was really interesting talking to someone who is published and interested in creative writing in general.

My class is small, there are only seven of us total, so we have already grown closer than most students would in a classroom in college. I felt confident that giving myself a needle in front of them as well as checking my sugar wasn't going to be a big deal.

Never in a class setting would I have to give myself a needle, so that part of my diabetes is usually hidden. Yes, at times I will check my sugar but never would I have to pull out my needle and give myself a shot of insulin. It's interesting; however, to look around to see if anyone noticed but I didn't find anyone who noticed or at least they didn't appear to notice.

Sitting around in this setting gave me a chance to go a little more into my blogs and what I am doing with diabetes. Since we got to talk about ourselves and talk about what we like to do as far as write, it was a great opportunity to talk about how I express my thoughts.

I got to hand around my 'blog' cards and hopefully someone will be able to connect with my blogs in anyway possible.

In a way, today I've been not thinking as positively about my blogs as normal. I am not sure why, but in a way I feel like my message may not be getting across as clearly as I thought it would be. I loved the response I got while I was at the conference last night but I was very surprised that no one has joined Helping Hands. I think that this is just me, being a huge dreamer. It's not realistic to think everyone is going to jump on the diabetes bandwagon and it's definitely going to take more than seven months for this sort of thing to happen. But after watching a recorded video of my speech I feel like I should have done more.

It's hard for me. I feel new to this just as much as the person I'm preaching too. I think I am the type of person that may take on too much, too fast, or expect things to change over night. I need to learn patients and work towards my goal with a positive outlook and convince myself that what I am doing is right and working.

I really want to stress that I do not want to push people into believing in what I believe. I know some people are against charity and don't think that change by one person is possible but I do. Even though I am reminded every day of my personal achievements I feel like what I am doing is silly at times.

I believe today may simply be a day I thought too much about it and I can't let one day stop me from doing what I've been doing for seven months. Maybe when I mentioned diabetes was the best thing that happened to me at lunch today, I heard laughter. It may have been because when I approved of cloning in class because they believe it can lead to a cure for diabetes, I got looks as if I was crazy to believe in cure of a disease. Orcould it have been when I watched myself on video from the conference I felt as if I didn't make my point clear enough. Maybe these remarks from society and the way that I feel I come across is making me re-think.

I realize I have an army of love and I can't disappoint and I can't be discouraged from my dream. I may be small, but I surely am strong and I am not willing to back down.


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