Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Healthy eating isn't always the most desirable and once you fall off the healthy food wagon it's really hard to get back on. For me, at first I was very strict with what I ate and made sure that I never went over the number of carbs that was recommended for me from my dietitian. But as I got more 'comfortable' with diabetes I began to fall off the wagon and allow myself more carbs.
At times I come back around telling myself to smarten up but I think that I have finally began to understand just how important it is for me to watch what I eat and how much of something I eat. I find this a lot easier to do at school actually, because I am not necessarily having to make anything healthy because I can find things in the cafeteria that are healthy such that as a spinach salad or vegetable cups.
Of course I will at times want something sweet or full of carbs and to me that will be okay as long as it doesn't become a habit. I don't want to pump myself full of insulin just because I want to indulge every single day. It's not healthy for me and it's not healthy for anyone. Just because I have diabetes doesn't necessarily mean that I can't easily indulge I just have to take a needle for a chocolate bar and sometimes it feels worth it.
So as I finally begin again back on my healthy journey I will let you know just how I am doing, and most of all let you know the improvements I have noticed. Thus far I have noticed how clear my skin as become, and this also could be because I have made it a routine to take my iron pills rather than just taking them when I occasionally remember.
Health is so important but so easy to neglect and I don't know why. Everyone can work together to improve each other.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Is there something in your life you wish you had done? Something you regret?
There are so many things in my life that I wish I had done and there are plenty of things that I regret but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't change a thing. It's hard to imagine what life would be like if I hadn't done some of the things I did.
I know that there are so many opportunities I missed out on but I like to think that I have made up for lost time these past 10 months. Can you believe 10 months has past? I am so proud of myself for finally believing in myself because for the longest time I honestly had no self respect nor did I care where I ended up and here I am with dreams and goals that are even causing myself to go in shock.
I just want people to know how much chasing your dream is important. I know that it took a disease for me to figure this out but I'd love if I can at least convince one person out there to live life to it's fullest and to never doubt yourself.
I have no doubt in my mind, I know that I can do whatever I put my mind too.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It's come to a point now that the majority of people I am around know that I am diabetic. It's a lot easier now because less people are staring and it has become rather normal to prick my finger or give myself a needle around them.
I never seem to mind when people stare at me, rather than getting upset or embarrassed by it, I just let them stare and learn from it. I notice in restaurants that there is always a person looking at me, as if I am doing drugs in the middle of dinner. I find that more people stare at the restaurants here in college than anywhere else and I figure that is because they are usually all young.
Hopefully there will always be curious people out there because that shows that people are interested and willing to make change or help out!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Working out as a diabetic can be super tricky. Since the slightest things can drop blood sugar or raise blood sugar it can be hard to work around an fitness plan. For me, I get frustrated when I work out and then have to eat something in order to bring up a low.
I have realized that if I know that I will be working out than I can lower the amount of insulin that I take for a meal but if the work out is unplanned I can closely monitor my blood sugar and if my blood sugar is low I can have something healthy like an apple rather than thinking I have to eat something packed with calories.
There are so many things in life that would be so much easier if I didn't have diabetes but there is nothing at this point that I can do to cure my diabetes; therefore, I have to think of ways to handle the obstacles.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I am such a lucky person to be given so many different opportunities. The latest being Brant News being interested in interviewing me about my blogs. To me, this is an opportunity of a lifetime because this is my chance to let so many other diabetics know that they are not alone.
This disease has given me so much more than I will ever be able to express in a blog and no matter how much diabetes tries to take from me, I will always be pushing and fighting as hard as I can. If diabetes isn't cured in my lifetime I hope that my blogs will live until the end, giving diabetics hope and inspiration. But I do believe diabetes will be cured.
My heart has grown 100x bigger and so has my ambition. Unlike before I dream big and think about what is too come. I realized that for a really long time I didn't think I could achieve anything but here I am today with so many different accomplishments and stories to tell. I would have never thought!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
It's really interesting how interested children can be with diabetes. I think that it is really important to give children the chance to learn from you and that is what I always try to do whether I am working at the daycare or babysitting.
Today I babysat three young boys and it was an awesome experience. They were a lot of fun. When it came to supper I went through my daily routine and it was so interesting listening to them and watching their reactions. The youngest said, after I pricked myself, "Can I have a booboo too!" but of course I wasn't going to check his sugar! I think that their curiosity towards my diabetes is amazing and I can't wait to let them know more about it.
A lot of people don't know about diabetes and I try my hardest to teach the people around me no matter how old or how young. I will never ever stop educating people about the disease that effects so many people.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
People are working so hard on finding a cure. It's up to use to raise the money to help these amazing people who take their time to ending not only diabetes but many other diseases. Many of us are aware about the study about the contacts that help diabetics determine their glucose levels and just the idea of an end to finger poking is a delight in itself but beyond the idea of no more pricking, there are people working so hard trying to make it easy for you, me and everyone else.
It was a little spontaneous that I decided to email a thank you to Jin Zhang whom is an assistant prof. at Western University, London, Ontario. Prof. Zhang created these contacts and I couldn't help but thank her and appreciate what she is doing.
I think that it is important to let people know your appreciation. We can admire from afar but I think that it makes a difference when you let the person know just how much you appreciate what they said or did.
I know that when I receive letters from people about my blogs it makes me feel a lot better about what I am doing and helps me stay motivated and positive.
A simple note of thanks can go a long way.
For more information on the contacts go to: http://communications.uwo.ca/com/media_newsroom/media_newsroom_stories/20091216445480/
Friday, January 15, 2010
After talking to one of my Profs today I realize just how lucky I am to live in Canada with diabetes. I think that at times the focus of the disease takes over and can have a negative effect on people but when you truly think about how lucky you are to live in a place that has health care and support you can really turn the negativity of having a disease around.
My prof. only knowing me for three days, has been astonishingly interested in my disease. Today, he told me that if I was diagnosed in another country I may not be here today, and that I am indeed lucky to live in Canada. This is extremely true, and it makes me incredibly sad to know that there are children around the world with diabetes that have no resources.
Besides the importance of health care there are a lot of children/teens living with diabetes that don't have emotional support. Unless you are diabetic it may be hard to connect with someone. Of course everyone knows that this is the goal of my blogs. It is with all my hope that my blog can be passed around from child to teen to adult to senior. I know what is it like to be diabetic, and every day is something new.
People may think diabetes at age eighteen is unlucky but to me I am extremely lucky.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I have come to realize how generous or how rude a person can truly be. It is pretty easy to detect whether or not someone is truly genuine even by first glance. For me, I feel like I know when not to waste my time on someone who won't give me the time but luckily I am often surrounded by people who are engaged and generous.
As mentioned in a blog most likely written in September I let all my teachers know about my diabetes. I feel like at times teachers will take that as, what does diabetes have to do with class? and others will take it with great respect knowing exactly why I am letting them know.
I have never had diabetes in a classroom setting until college this year so going about letting people know can be a little overwhelming. I am sure I am not the only one that has felt this way. First, you don't want to sound 'unable' you want them to know that you can control your disease but there may be times where you just can't. Another thing that makes it hard is trying to compress diabetes because there are so many different aspects of the disease, it's hard to pin point was exactly is important to let them know. Lastly it's hard to express what type 1 diabetes is rather than type 2. Since there are different variations of diabetes some may take it much more lightly than others. A prof. shouldn't be worried about having a student with diabetes, or be paranoid all the time, there has to be a basic understanding.
Today I felt odd in class, and decided to check my sugar during a lecture. I must have caught the eye of my prof. because after class he came up to me asking about my diabetes. He kindly grabbed my hand and let me know that if I needed anything to feel free, "If you have to leave, eat, check your sugar, go ahead!" he insisted. It was comforting considering I hadn't yet had the chance to let him know about my diabetes.
Like I said, you can easily see the people who are genuine and that are willing to help you out and listen just as easy you can find those who may be slightly ignorant but thankfully I am surrounded by a lot of genuine people.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Now that I am settled into school I am focusing on making sure I keep my blood sugars in good standings. I think that for a little bit I was more relaxed and didn't really worry too much about my sugars being higher than normal. It is really hard for me to realize just how much this disease can take over my life if I don't take care of it. But with time I am sure that it will be very known.
People always tell me the first year is the hardest. With March coming quickly, I will soon be able to say I've had diabetes for a year. A year! Can you believe it? I can't. If the first year is the hardest than I am thankful because I honestly didn't feel that this year was extremely tough, and knowing it may get better and easier is a good thing.
Besides going low a couple times since being here, assuming due to the change of schedule, my sugars have been really good!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Yesterday was my first day back from a month long winter break. I only had three classes, two being 50 minutes and one being 3 hours but the day was hectic and caused me to go low two times both being 4.7.
Since I have all new classes (besides the three hour class) I had to figure out where they were and most of all how I was going to get from B building to M building in 10 minutes. Not only was this something to think about, I also had to worry about when I was going to eat, I started at 11 a.m and finished at 2 p.m. As usual I ate breakfast around 9 a.m and brought a snack for in between class. Unfortunately by the time I got back to residence my sugar was 4.7, I then had lunch.
The second time I went low was around 10:30 p.m and I had an idea something was up since I was fumbling around my words which gave my roommates some entertainment until Olivia had to fork up some Gushers so that I could bring my sugar back up.
Like anything I have to work around my schedule which means changing insulin dosages and eating at appropriate times. It's hard to manage diabetes when you're trying to manage everything else around you but it is achievable.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I hope to have an eventful 2010. I have high hopes that 2010 will be big for diabetes. I hope that there is a lot of change for us diabetics because I know every day is one step closer to curing diabetes. I believe in a cure.
There are many things that I want to achieve this year, and personally knowing what I have achieved in the past I feel like these dreams are definitely achievable. I plan to work hard this term just as hard as first term and beyond school, I want to achieve many other things. I believe in myself.
It will take me the rest of life to show how much I appreciate the support I have received, and I am willing to do this. Without friends and family I doubt that I would able to handle the stress of diabetes among other things in my life. I believe in my support system.
There are several things that I believe in. If you know me well, you know that I chase dreams and although at times some seem unrealistic I reach them with pride and don't give up. I believe that no matter what life hands me I will be okay. I believe I will be just fine.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
It's not easy, well nothing is easy. Everything takes time and effort, nothing can be forgotten. I have learned a lot so far in my life and I am only nineteen. It seems that in the past little while I have learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined.
I learned that I am strong, and not only strong but absolutely capable of getting through whatever life throws at me. My disease isn't going to control me . . . I am going to control my disease and that is what makes me strong. An adjustment to my lifestyle has had to occur on different occasions and with positive support and reassurance I have accomplished more in my life than I ever believed previous to being diabetic.
I realized that being patient is the key to success. We live in an instant world, we want everything right now. Unfortunately this gives us a lot of disappointment because a lot of things in life don't happen over night. Although I can be extremely impatient at times, I learned that patients is key. I try to apply this to my life, I take a couple breaths and think one day I'll get there, today is one step closer.
Self worth is something that I am slowly gaining. My life is full of ups and downs and I am sure everyone reading this can relate. We all go through speed bumps that batter us down but the most important thing is for us to get back up and try again. Our past can rarely be forgotten and the memories we have created will always be a part of our history but that doesn't mean we can't become a better person from it. I have been called every name in the book but I have never let the labels and stereotypes become who I am because I am better than every name a person has ever called me.
I learned the importance of good friends. I regret not spending more time with my friends but from this I am eager to change. I want to make sure that my friends know just how much I appreciate them. Unlike most friends I come with instructions, give me a needle if this, give me sugar if that... Diabetes is not a disease that can be battled alone, you need the love of friends in family to keep positive.
Another thing I learned about myself is that despite always seeming to have a lot of down time for myself, I really don't take enough time to reflect. Since having my blogs; however, I have really allowed myself to speak out and not be scared of my voice and opinions. I know that people will judge, everyone judges, but I am not scared to be judged.
Diabetes has put me on a different track, I had everything planned at one point in my life and realized you can't plan your life to detail, you can only dream and work with the obstacles.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I can't help but wonder what is to come for me. This year could have anything in store, life is very unpredictable after all I never thought I'd be living with diabetes at age nineteen. The most important thing that I try to keep in mind is that I am glad to be alive, well and most of the time happy with where my life has brought me.
It's unfortunate that we are put through so many different obstacles and trials in life. It's extremely hard to plan for the future when your tomorrows are not always guaranteed. The best way to go about life is to know that the obstacles and trails will make us stronger. Lessons learned from our past will make great stories for the future.
Being a scrapbooker and a person who takes endless amounts of pictures, I want to make sure that my story is told. Even though to many my life story isn't exactly thrilling or exciting, I do hope that to someone it will give them answers, laughs and inspiration.
If you think of everyday as another chapter in your life, hopefully it will inspire you to get out there and make something of each and every day.
So what's in your next chapter?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Today my sugar was 21.2 simply because I decided I was going to indulge and have a hot chocolate. I should have taken insulin, considering how much sugar is on a hot chocolate, but I didn't and ended up paying the consequences.
I barely have hot chocolate I think that since being diagnosed I have only had maybe three cups. It's one of those things I crave every now and then and enjoy having especially during a cold hockey game.
There are certain things that I am not used to having to watch and slowly it's becoming more routine but I must admit that sometimes I slip and want to just eat whatever I can and whenever I want.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
It's been a long 2009 and finally we have reached 2010. I am sure we are all looking forward to new beginnings with family and friends. Throughout the year new friends will be made, new adventures will be taken on but most of all the bonds we share with old friends will hopefully grow stronger.
For me 2009 marks a lot of significant events. It's been nearly 10 months of living with diabetes, after being diagnosed March 13 2009. Throughout these 10 months I have learned more about myself than ever before. Diabetes has brought out the motivation in me to achieve more and push harder. I am not afraid of being wrong or not going with the crowd. I am confident to be myself and live and learn.
In 2009 I got a chance to be up close in person with some famous faces, George Canyon, Keith Urban and Justin Bieber. Of course George Canyon was the more inspirational person to me; however just touching Keith Urban's hand was quite the thrill. As for Justin Bieber, let's just say he hasn't learned manners yet!
This past year I grew a lot closer to my family and friends. My aunts and uncles have shown enormous support for me as well as my cousins. My grandparents have been a great help in keeping me positive. My friends have shown their true selves giving me the insurance of who is a great friend and who was not and there is nothing wrong with that.
2009 brought tears, anger and pain. Being diagnosed with diabetes isn't always a walk on the beach. I have my moments of anger and tears. The needles aren't always working in my favour and the motivation to give myself insulin sometimes takes time. Besides my diabetes, Clinton lost his Papa in June. This really stuck with me because I had never been so close to someone whom past away.
2009 was the year of achievements. Raising $2645 for JDRF, receiving $500 for JDRF from North Park and many more. I was seen in the News Paper three times, Team KK, NPC and Greatest Kid. I was constantly working on a new project with diabetes, my recent one being Helping Hands.
It was year of Chapters and in total, I created 171 blog entries in close to 10 months. I am so thrilled and excited that I was able to share a part of my life in 2009 with everyone and I am excited to continue writing more and more. I hope I helped at least one person out there.
Friday, January 1, 2010
I had a quiet New Years with Clinton last night which made managing diabetes pretty easy. We just made pizza and a few snacks and watched a couple movies, pretty low key.
I started thinking about what my New Years Resolution would be, but when I thought about it I realized that people really don't follow these silly things. I know that the gym will be absolutely packed this following week, but then the people will slowly stop going. Just like people who eat extremely healthy for a couple weeks then have one treat from McDonalds and they're off the wagon.
For me, I rather think of a goal. I set them for myself a lot. I never realized how much I did this until Clinton brought it up last night. A goal for how much money I wanted to raise for Team KK, a goal for how many hands I wanted for Helping Hands, a goal for school which led to me achieving a 4.0 and many other goals.
My goal now is to try manage my diabetes a little better. I can always improve. This disease is with me until there is a cure so it is in my hands to treat myself right and avoid the complications that haunt diabetes.
Rather than setting yourself up for doom by saying New Years resolution, maybe we should think about specific goals, we most likely set them all the time. If we just make one goal, it can lead to another, and then another and before you know it, you've achieved more than you ever knew you could. This is something I have learned.
Happy New Year!