Tuesday, August 30, 2022

I am Capable

It’s been literally years since I last wrote, but at the same time, the last two years feel like they could be summed up in one word, strange.  The pandemic and the repercussions of such lasted much longer than anyone could have predicted and while the world is possibly settling into place again, the lingering effects are still there. 

While we both work from home, the limitations on travel during the last couple years had us being quite creative with things to do more locally. Especially when you have a toddler because there is only so much entertainment inside the four walls of your home.   We took a big family trip together to California in the spring which was much needed and appreciated as prior to the pandemic, Mike and I travelled quite often.  To be able to now travel with our son is quite fun, albeit challenging sometimes!   

Diabetes wise, I feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster, not necessarily the blood sugar rollercoaster but the emotional side of living with type 1 diabetes.  Of course we know it can be challenging at times, but it also takes a considerable amount of focus when you’re trying to achieve A1C goals or better time in range. Truly it can be hard to find the time to do a proper site change or pre bolus sometimes. 

I find that I have blips of focus and other times I realize I haven’t paid attention to my diabetes at all.  Often I’ll find myself laying in bed thinking, did I do enough to take care of myself today?  Because truth is taking care of myself means also taking care of my family, you know so I can truly show up for them everyday.  

This is the emotional rollercoaster part, because while trying to balance life and diabetes, comes sacrifices, forgetfulness and self doubt.   It’s a tangled mess that leaves you feeling like you could have done more, but how.  

This is diabetes though, and I remind myself that this was how diabetes showed up in college, university, my wedding, and pregnancy and a pandemic. Unpredictable, emotional and at times all encompassing.    It’s part of living with diabetes , the good, bad and ugly.  But we figure it out, we figure it out because we are resilient (not perfect) but capable, oh so capable.  And I know this because I’ve proven it time and time again.