Sunday, August 17, 2014

My Heart Goes Out

I have spend the past couple weeks really thinking about my diabetes.  Half because I am meeting new people and having the conversation of, "I have diabetes" which comes out because I feel like every single thing that I do in my life has been a result of diabetes or some weird connection. Diabetes has become a huge part of my life, but that's what diabetes is all about - taking over.

Cruise 2009
Recently I have had two people in my life pass away that had type 1 diabetes, one being my Uncle Bill and the other being a friend I met in Australia at the diabetes conference. I must say, that my Uncle didn't pass away from diabetes, but my friend Reg did, and it really hit home.  Firstly, my uncle was the one that taught me a lot about type 1 diabetes when I was first diagnosed.  Only a couple weeks into my diagnosis we went on a cruise and he guided me through the mess of carbs I had on my plate from buffets and even my very first low in Mexico on the way to the Mayan Ruins.  It's hard to lose someone, but I found it difficult to process the fact that he was a fellow type 1 diabetic. I felt as though I was the only one left with type 1 diabetes in the family (my Dad's cousin had always passed away due to type 1 diabetes complications/situational related).   It made me think about diabetes in a light I had never thought about it before, deadly.

When I found out Reg had passed away as well from diabetes complication, I was in shock and found myself once again pondering how diabetes can just take over like that. I mean, I don't need to ponder to hard to know that it is easy to lose grip of diabetes.  It's exhausting being diabetic and I am not even exaggerating. It's not easy and when you hear of the horror stories, as much as we attempt to screen them out, we know them.  We hear about them, we feel the effects, we may have brushed up against them.

My heart goes out to my family and Reg's family as well.  I use their lives as motivation to keep doing what I do, and try harder with my diabetes management.  Checking more often, being conscious of what I am doing, i.e giving myself insulin, carb counting better.  I've admittedly earned a lot this summer, and they're not lessons that come easy.