Friday, February 26, 2010


I was told by my doctor that I needed to tighten up my blood glucose levels. Even though he was impressed with my A1C he would like to see my averages between meals down. Normally, they are around 9-13.

It is really hard to tighten my blood glucose levels because I am used to just eating what I normally have been eating and obviously I need to give myself more insulin or eat a more strict diet. I want to change it by eating healthy and exercising more but it's hard!

I don't want to rely on insulin injections as a source of tightening my blood sugar so this week (which is my reading week) I am going to try hard and get outstanding numbers to appear on the meter!

Hopefully soon I will be able to keep it up!


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's Up to Me

On Monday I had a doctors appointment in Brantford and it was a day that I was looking forward to simply because it was my chance to ask about a pump. I hadn't been to the diabetes doctor since June and at that time I was told what my A1C was when I was in the hospital which was 13. Now however, my A1C is 6.4 which the doctor says is impressive. Your A1C (Glycated hemoglobin) is used to identify your glucose level over a longer period of time, say three months.

Since the doctor was impressed with my standings he gladly said he would recommend the pump for me (since you need a doctor to sponsor you) but there is still a great amount of training that I must do before I get the insulin pump and that can be organized through my diabetes nurse, Judy.

It was such a weird moment when I said to the doctor, "I want a pump." I have been saying that on and off for a bit but never really committed to anything until that moment. Still I can change my mind but I feel that this is a good opportunity to grow and learn.

I will not start training until at least May and still have awhile to process the idea. In the end like Chloe told me, it's up to me and only me.


Monday, February 22, 2010

Because You're Diabetic...

Since I am lined up with appointments I have heard a lot of, "because you're diabetic..." It seems incredibly stressful that everything I do can effect me so much more than the average person, all because I'm diabetic.

This weekend I got a pedicure which was desperately needed. Once again she knows that I am diabetic and it seemed as if there were so many percautious. My feet are something that I have to look out for and make sure that there is enough circulation.

There really is no escape from being reminded that you're diabetic.

Today I had a dentist appointment and after making sure I was still on insulin (kind of a weird question) she insisted that I be very careful about my teeth since, well guess what? I am diabetic.

I find it pretty funny how fragile people think you are if you're living with a disease. As if the constant needles and finger pricking isn't enough to remind you that you're living with diabetes. I realize that it is their profession to remind their clients/patients what is important for them but it's just too funny to be reminded of something that you are definitely well aware of.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

New Game

It never really dawned on me until now that I am new to the game. Of course I knew that I was essentially new to being a diabetic but I never realized how new I truly was. I once was just an average person. I ate fast food and candy without worrying about carbs and I never once had checked my sugar before. I didn't have to stop and take a needle nor did I ever imagine people had to do that.

At this time when I was so care free there were millions of people were living with diabetes. Millions! WHO (World Health Organization) states that there are 220 million people living with either type 1 or type 2 diabetes. Yet, I was living life without a single worry about what I ate and when.

I am new to the game in the sense that most of the diabetics I meet have had it for years. Some practically grew up with the disease. Some went to camps and most have gathered a great circle of friends that have diabetes. Now let me say, that in the short time that I have had diabetes I have probably gained about 20 plus new diabetic friends.

Diabetes is more than just insulin injections and blood checking. It's a bond. For the diabetics that grew up as a child with diabetes their story began much sooner. Their bonds started much younger and now they have an outstanding amount of experience and friends.

From all the diabetics that I have met I am not scared to be alone with my disease. As bias as it sounds, all of the type 1 diabetics I have met thus far are absolutely amazing people. They truly look out for one another.

Like a group of hockey players, you grow as a team and you learn as a team. I can't be happier to have found my team and add more members along the way.

I may be new to the game but I am not sitting on the side lines.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Healthy and Sweet

I have come to realize that my body does not like sugar-free chocolate. I never really noticed when I would have it before but now it is pretty apparent that the special chocolate isn't right for me.

It could be the chemicals that are packed into the chocolate to make it better for diabetics. If I have more than one of any given candy I am bound to have a horrible stomach ache for the remainder of the day. If only there could be something that works well for diabetics?

It's a shame because some of the sugar-free chocolate is really good and taste like regular chocolate and everyone is always is looking for these types of treats for me. Unfortunately from now on I am going to have to either use my will power and only eat one every now and then or not have them at all.

I miss not being able to eat chocolate without worrying about my blood sugar, especially during occasions but it's something you just have to get used too.

Maybe one day soon there will be a diabetic treat that is healthy and sweet.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dreamer & a Believer

I am a dreamer and a believer. I dream big but not only do I dream but I believe. I believe that everything is possible and that is why I set standards for myself that seem unachievable to most. This is why I make goals and don't let myself down.

Today I was interviewed by Brant News about my blogs and I couldn't help but get excited about what I have been able to accomplish in the past 11 months. I feel as if this year including the latter part of 2009 has been a year of dreams. I hope to fill every year with dreams and achievements as well.

I am incredibly excited to see what is to come. It truly gives more meaning to life. I now feel as if I am able to help more people not only just myself. This blog has brought me so far but also had connected me to a lot of people diabetic or not.

I believe in myself and that is so important. I want everyone to believe in themselves and try to think of each day as a chapter in your life. You want to live with no regrets and take every down fall not as a bad day but as a chance to make change or improve.

I am not perfect and no one is but that is what makes our stories so unique. We all have dreams and aspirations and there is no one that can stop you from believing.

Nevertheless I believe in each and every one of you because I know that if I can do it, so can you.


Monday, February 15, 2010

Who I am Today

For Valentine's day Clinton took me rock climbing and it was definitely a challenge. I didn't realize how hard it would be until we got there and began our one hour lesson. It was more than a lesson of learning how to belay.

I really think that Clinton has played a huge part in who I am today. First of all we only had been dating for 5 months before I was diagnosed so he really had to stand up without knowing me all that well. Clinton has honestly pushed me to be more and do more.

Rock climbing is a huge trust builder, that's one of the first things Clinton told me before I pulled him down too fast! We really had to prove our trust because if I did something wrong or if he did something wrong than something bad can happen.

After our lesson we were expected to just go out on our own. Our own belaying, tying knots, everything! Clinton always tells me to try things out of my comfort and this was a big thing. I actually learned how to tie my own knots and I was proud of myself for not making anyone else do it for me.

Climbing up the walls at times was extremely hard, but Clinton was always at the bottom almost yelling at me to try and try. I know that sounds a little mean of him, but Clinton is the person that makes me take risks and doesn't allow me to give up and that is what I love about him.

I want to do some more rock climbing with Clinton when I get home from school and hope that we can both get a membership in Burlington. It is really good for my diabetes and overall health plus the trust that Clinton and I have for eachother will only grow stronger!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Thank You!

One of the biggest topics I probably cover is support in regards to my diabetes. At times I feel like I can be super repetitive about the idea of support and how important it is. I am sure there are people out there that know just how great it feels to have people behind you.

Since this is Valentine's Day weekend and Family Day, I've decided this weekend's blogs can be dedicated to support. Maybe it will inspire you to think about those very people who have helped you along the way.

It's really hard to know who is there for you in the long run and who isn't. Whether it's someone you feel is your best friend or your very boyfriend, you never truly know their motives until something big happens in your life that may test the friendship.

For me, it was diabetes. For some people it may be something totally different and maybe no one has experienced this yet. My disease has really brought out the best in all the people around me, it's a funny statement, but everyone that I have known has shown their place in my life, even if that meant leaving.

My two best friends Michelle and Sam have been amazing support. They are so comfortable with my diabetes that I don't have to worry about testing or eating with them. They are always two steps ahead making sure that I am o.k. You can't ever know if your friend is going to be like that, and it doesn't even matter how long you've known them for. Thank you Sam and Michelle.

My boyfriend, Clinton has been the biggest support I could have ever imagined. This goes to show the whole idea of through thick and thin. Clinton is always looking for ways to make me comfortable with diabetes and he has been my crying shoulder many of times. I love you Clinton.

My parents and sister have been great support too. Although they were kind of thrown into a different lifestyle out of the blue they all adjusted quickly and now it's like I've been diabetic all my life. I am not treated any differently here and that makes me feel comfortable. Thank you Mom, Dad and Abby.

My roommates have been an outstanding help while I adjusted to living on my own with diabetes. As each week passes I am sure they learn more and more about my disease especially what it is like to go low. Thank you Julie and Olivia.

My family, aunts, uncles, cousins, Grandma/Grandpa and Nanny/Papa, have been an enormous help during my diabetes because they are always checking up on me, making sure that I am okay. It has been a wild 11 months thus far and I couldn't have done it without my enormous family team. Thank you everyone!

My fellow diabetics have now become my friends for life. These people are absolutely amazing and inspiring and I could ever ask for better supporters. They are always showing me how diabetes isn't the end of the world it's only the beginning. Thank you diabetics!

Also I want to thank all my friends and peers. For all those who take the time to read my blogs and give amazing feedback, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without all of my friends and family this would be the hardest thing in the world. Thank you!


Friday, February 12, 2010

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day is just around the corner and I know that a lot of people avoid Valentine's day as a whole. However; since I do have a boyfriend Valentine's day isn't something that I am running away from or dreading.

I think that since there are a lot of occasions during the year, the importance of them has gone out the window. With all the marketing surrounded by these occasions it's hard to find meaning in something so publicized.

For me I want to make sure that the people I love know just how much I love them. Whether it be friends, family or my boyfriend, I want them to know that this has been a crazy year and that I have appreciated every single second that have put into our friendship.

Sure, according to the media Valentine's day is full of expensive chocolates and fancy dining but to me I wouldn't mind just being with my friends and family doing whatever!

So have a good Valentine's Day whether you have a date or not, just appreciate the time you get to spend with your friends or family because it's more precious than you can ever imagine.


Monday, February 8, 2010


Almost Two hundred notes later and look where I am. These simple notes that I have written seemed to have traveled the world while I sat at my desk. My notes can be accessed anywhere at anytime how amazing is that.

It's amazing how fast time can go. Next month I will have had diabetes for a year. 365 days of diabetes can you imagine? I think that although I have had diabetes for a short time it feels as if I have had it forever. I think that tells me that I was meant to live with diabetes because this disease has given me more opportunities than ever before. I have a story to tell and with this huge story called diabetes I have so many different chapters.

I am so, so thankful to all my readers who have dedicated a few minutes to read my chapters almost every single day. If no one was reading these notes I would have never been motivated to get to 200. I feel as if I now have a huge duty and that although the people that I inspire may not always let me know, I deep down inside know that I am making a difference.

I want to speak to the individual reader because although this is read by many, it's you as an individual that gives it meaning and purpose. Each note I write will mean something different to each individual. I know that a lot of my readers don't have diabetes or really know anyone with diabetes but I find it very inspiring that they are able to connect with my blogs.

In these notes I have grown, when comparing the first note with the most recent the change is enormous. I have truly shared my deep feelings publicly which I know a lot of people are not comfortable with. I must say that although I enjoy my privacy I don't feel as if what I am sharing is meant to be private. I think diabetes is a gift that was given to me, and in return I want to change lives.

Change lives, that's so cliche; however, no one can truly describe what is like to receive an email of appreciative, inspiration or admiration. To know that there was a young diabetic who felt alone and now has been inspiration because of you is absolutely the best feeling in the world. Maybe I can't reach every diabetic in the world, but helping the odd one is great.

Beyond diabetics, the readers without diabetes have given me a different outlook on how I express myself in blogs. I myself have been non-diabetic longer than I have been diabetic. It seems like an odd saying but I know more what it's like to be like the average person than a diabetic. I know what it feels like to eat a cookie dough blizzard without worrying about the carbs, I know what it's like to the gym and not have to worry about your sugar and I also know what is like to live off an all carb diet. What I didn't know was how to live life to the fullest, because eating sugar all day sounds appealing but there are so many more things in life that can be done.

I know that I always get asked a lot of questions being a diabetic and I think that a lot of people are interested in the lifestyle. I really appreciate everyone's support and can't wait until the notes break through the hundreds and into the thouasands and help more and more people out there.

I am forever thankful.


Sunday, February 7, 2010

Working it!

Now that I am getting used to going out to dances/bars with diabetes it is a lot easier to figure out what I have to do and when I should do it. The whole idea of the clutch seemed impossible for me at first but I have learned ways of making it work.

The majority of the time I am the only diabetic in the room. It's a given fact that I could be in a room of 50 people and no one has any clue what I have to do on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel that way even with people that do have a clue that I am diabetic. It's hard sometimes to know that you can't have something. I shouldn't say can't because technically I can have anything I want. So maybe I should say that it's hard to know that I can have something but I have to do an order of things before I do so.

I'll admit I envy those of you who have a working pancreas. The idea of a McDonald's run at 1 a.m last night with my friends was very appealing but not really being able to just eat whatever, whenever wasn't appealing at all.

I don't feel left out but I don't feel 'normal' amongst my peers and honestly I have gotten to a point where I don't care, I just envy.

Last night we went to a ball at the school. There was a midnight buffet but it wasn't enormous, more of finger food which worked for me, because there was cheese and chicken kabobs, which have barely any carbs.

Not everything is going to be catered to you when you're diabetic. It just isn't possible but I believe that diabetics are able to work with what they're given and that is exactly what I am doing, working it!


Saturday, February 6, 2010

I Like When You Go Low

I had a pretty extreme low. Of course I was shopping when it occurred that seems to be a problem. Unfortunately I didn't have sugar on me, because I forgot to switch it over from my school bag to purse. I have learned now to just put sugar in both.

All day as Julie and I were shopping I knew that I didn't feel that great. I assumed that my 'headache' was causing my dull feeling so I ignored all signs until I was in the change room at American Eagle. When I began trying on a shirt I felt as if my whole entire body was moving extremely fast. This is a sign of a low that I am familiar with. I feel as if I have to get everything done in seconds, which leads to me getting frustrated because it's just not possible. Still wearing the shirt I checked my sugar and it was 3.9.

I quickly took the shirt off, put mine back on and walked out of the change room. It was as if I was drunk, I remember just mumbling to the employee who most likely asked me how it fit. I was looking for Julie but didn't see her and didn't want to put down my $7 shirt and leave the store. So of course I pushed myself to wait in line, pay for the t-shirt and did I mention I even gave them my discount card so that I could get points for my purchase.

My body was shaking so much that I just gave the cashier change and I said, "I'm low, sorry." I doubt she even knew what that meant, she just kind of smiled maybe thinking I meant to say I was high considering the way I was acting. Finally I saw Julie and pretty much shouted down the line to tell her I needed sugar and my sugar was low.

I could tell Julie was a little scared. She may be my roommate and live with me every single day but she hasn't really seen me that bad. She said my butt was shaking and I knew very well that it was. Also I was sweating and I just wanted to cry.

Thankfully there was a chocolate store right across the way. Full of wonderful chocolates, I may never have been able to pick if Julie hadn't suggested the enormous Reese Cup (which she also bought too.) After sitting down and eating our cups I felt much better, and Julie even told me just how much she likes when I go low (because she can get a treat too!)

It was a learning experience by far and I am glad that Julie got to see a low like that, so that she can better know the signs of a low. I am thankful for the chocolate store across from American Eagle.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Different Lows

My blood sugars have been really great the past little while. Unfortunately I went low today, 4.3 and didn't even notice. In fact the only reason I checked it was because I was about to eat lunch.

I find it weird how sometimes I notice lows so much, sometimes I know that I'm going low when my sugar is 5.1. But there are many times where I don't truly know until I am all the way down to 4!

I know that I was told before that if you get used to having lows than you will loose the ability to tell when you're going low but I rarely go low. I think that it all depends, unfortunately all experiences of lows are different, just because you were shaking last time you were 4.2 doesn't mean you will be shaking the next time you hit that number.

It's funny to think that my first low wasn't until April 2009, after being diagnosed in March. I was on my way back from the Mayan Ruins in Mexico. I have definitely had many lows since then but I feel as if I am lucky that I have been able to take care of them on my own.


Thursday, February 4, 2010


It's not too hard to find people that will take the time to learn about you, and it's not too hard to find people that can joke with you once they learn about you.

Before moving into residence I was so scared that my diabetes would be considered 'hard work' or scare people. I know that there are so many things that can happen to me but there are also so many things that make me exactly like everyone else. Yes when I indulge in cheesecake with the roommates I'm checking my sugar and taking a few shots of insulin but in the end I do indulge in the cheesecake.

It's simple, George Canyon says it in his speeches, 'part of diabetes is all up here.. right in your mind... if your mind isn't happy neither is your body' to me, this is so true. If I am not positive and if I can't joke around and be like everyone else than my body is going to destroy itself. Of course I am not eating cheesecake every single day but who is? If I cut myself off from everything that everyone else does how could I live?

Yes there are so many experiences that I will have that no one else will but that is because I am an individual. There are also experiences that I will have that only diabetics will know and that's because I myself am diabetic. But there are so many experiences that are equally shared by girls my age everywhere that we all just share because we're living our lives to the fullest and I have every right to do so.

I am comfortable with my disease and every single person knows that, that knows me. A funny incident happened that very day that I shared cheesecake with my roommates along with two other girls. As we all took our forks and dug into the cheesecake, I said, "oh I'm going to end up in a coma!"and my roommates laughed, one saying,"She's diabetic!" as we all laughed, the other girls wondered why this matter was funny! But it's all in a joking manner.

I know diabetes is serious, but I can't always be serious, no one can. You just have to live with what you got!


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Not So Happy Feet

As a diabetic my feet seem to be an impossible chore. Many people may know that diabetics have to watch their feet because they are most likely to lose feeling due to not having the best blood sugars.

Before being diagnosed my feet were a prime example of what can happen when you don't look after your diabetes. Since I was unaware of my diabetes my feet suffered. My heels were cracked and my nails were thick. After starting insulin my feet began to look a little more normal and after getting a pedicure I was sure that my feet would never look so rough again.

Unfortunately being a young diabetic is a little hard because who wants to wear orthopedic shoes when you're in your teens. Not me, so $5 flip flops and bare feet were my main accessory.

This morning my right foot was swollen and walking on it was painful. My blood sugars are under control but I find that my feet are my most sensitive no matter what my blood sugar is. The good thing is that I have feeling in my feet. Although I do often have numbing feeling in my feet and my legs I know that if I wiggle my feet enough it will go away.

As mentioned earlier in a blog, both my toes are still bruised but are getting better. Right now I am just trying my best to keep my feet in healthy shape.