Wednesday, September 30, 2009


In class, I don't worry about my diabetes. I try not to let the little worries that my diabetes can bring effect my school work. Stress is such a huge factor in diabetes. I know that if I stress myself out, my sugar is bound to react. My body knows with every step I take it is going to effect my blood sugar.

Chloe Steepe gave me some helpful hints of why my blood sugars might become higher while I am in school. They all interested me and I kept them known in the back of my head just in case I ever wonder why my sugar is 14 when I barely ate any lunch and I went up and down the residence stairs several times. I find that little things effect my sugar, a couple sits ups, jumping jacks etc. Chloe taught me that.

I also realized that sitting for a long period of time effects my diabetes too. My feet feel numb, my sugar lowers and I feel tired and 'out of it.' I have learned to wiggle my feet, tap my foot against the cold ground without my shoes on and relax my body. I keep snacks on me at all times water as well. Remind myself that I am allowed to leave the room if I feel faint,sick or need something. My teachers are aware of my disease.

I won't let diabetes effect my progression in school. I can succeed while living with diabetes. I have the motivation and drive to do well.


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Take What You Get

Where I was before in life is nothing compared to now.

I was tired, bored and confused, I am alive, interested and inspired.

I was scared and timid, I am unafraid and brave.

I want to reach a goal. I am ready to go beyond my potential and show people living with a life changing disease that anything is possible. I realize that we all have limitations. Things that stand in our way and cause us to re calculate but I want to prove that there is a way to go beyond.

Most people know about my ambition to become an elementary school teacher. Ever since kindergarten when they asked you what you wanted to be, I was determined to be a teacher. Of course throughout time I've changed my answer a couple times but deep down inside I knew that teaching was my passion. Education was my calling.

I am attending Fanshawe College in order to pursue my dream however when I heard about being able to attend a University in Australia for teaching I was all for it. When I think back to last year, this option would have been a laughing matter. Australia, 15 000 km away from home. But this time the idea of going away as an international student really caught my interest.

Diabetes has really opened my eyes to new options. I feel as if we may take this life for granted. We don't realize how fast life passes us by. Those who seek the simple way out aren't usually satisfied with their results. I want to know that I have lived my life to my full potential when my time is up. I want to know that I made an impact. I changed lives.

A disease doesn't have to hit you in order for you to feel this way. At least I hope not. Although diabetes changed my perception on life hopefully many others can learn this on their own. I feel like the opportunities that are given to us are absolutely amazing. Take what you get and make something of it before the chance is gone.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Catch Up

When you see a friend or family member for the first time in a long time there is so much to catch up on. We tend to catch up on how our families are doing, what we've been up too, possibly how school is going or work but one thing we hate to update on is our bad luck, possibly a car accident, a disease or illness that has touched our lives.

Most if not all of my friends and family members are very aware of my diabetes. I was diagnosed on March 13th 2009 and from then on most people are aware of what I've been up too and what has happened since then.

One person that I was looking forward to seeing this year was a man named Dick. Dick is a huge fan of the Milton Icehawks, (Clinton's hockey team.) He has been attending the games in Milton since 1964 and sits in the very same spot every single time, much like I do. Since I began watching Clinton's games in October 2008 I have always sat in front of Dick, and over time, him and I became very close friends. Despite Dick being a senior we related to one another and always had interesting things to tell one another. After the Milton Icehawks were finished in February I hadn't gotten to see Dick since yesterday.

Since the last time I saw him, I didn't have diabetes. I didn't care about diabetes or know about the disease. Now I am full of knowledge and have expanded not only my knowledge about the disease but about life in general. I've seen the world in a different light. I got to express this to him, as he pointed to my metre as I checked my blood and said, "Is that diabetes?" Of course I gave him the whole blurb and I was very surprised he didn't know much at all about diabetes, in fact one of the comments he made was, "You're so tiny, how did you get it? I thought big people got that?" as he widened his hands indicating obesity.

I think that I may have taught him a lot at that hockey game last night. He was very shocked about my diagnosis but wished me the best. Dick was rather upset that I may not make him anymore baked goods but I promised that I would. After all diabetes didn't change the fact that I love sweets and baking.

For many it's hard to tell someone that they haven't seen in awhile that bad luck has snuck their way. But for me, diabetes has made me a stronger person and I'm proud to say, I am a type 1 diabetic.


Thursday, September 24, 2009

Here's To You

Here's to you.

The person who listens, guides me and gives me strength. Here's to you for being my inspiration and loyalty. It's not easy being me, nor easy being you but we fit.

I think that in our lives we all find people that make us feel special. It's said around the whole entire world, we find our true love, or someone that we know we can trust in. There are many people in my life that I truly love and know that I can trust with all my heart, that includes my mother, aunts and close friends but there is one person that has taught me a lot about the human heart.

I guess it suddenly hit me today even though I do think about it all the time. How lucky am I to have someone who is willing to go out of their way to help me. After being diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes I discovered a lot of love from many of the people around me. I was more reassured after being diagnosed that those people were in it for the long run.

I trust that it's common for love ones to come closer as a family in times of heartache but the idea of staying strong once the heartache has decreased is the true test.

It's easy to leave someone behind. It's easy to forget that you had a connection with someone, realize they need a little too much than you're wanting to offer and leave. I understand that fully. But I don't think it's right.

People don't realize that bad things happen. Unless you are put into a situation we tend to forget that bad things can happen to us, we aren't free of disease, pain, suffering, it's out there. We all like to think that the one we love would be the first one at your side in the hospital.

For me, this was true. Clinton really stepped up, after only being my boyfriend of five months he visited me every single day, pushing the time restraints that the hospital set out. He truly was there by my side and for that I am grateful. Among many other people that visited me, I really have a great understanding for the human heart. People may not come to the hospital because it makes them feel uncomfortable but many people do their best to express their concern and just give you the outlet to come and talk to them if needed.

It's probably strange that it took me six months to really think about the whole situation in that context. But with time and hearing about other people's relationships I realized that what Clinton and I have been through really has set us apart from many other young couples out there. For someone at age seventeen at the time to take the time to learn about a disease, be patient and give me strength and words of wisdom, is just amazing in my eyes.

Here's to you. For always being there for me. Giving me strength and courage and showing me that anything is possible. Here's to you.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sleeping In

Sleeping in is pretty common however sleeping in can cause you to rush throughout your day and really promote more stress than normal. I tend to not sleep in as much now because a day without breakfast throws me off in many different ways.

First of all on average I don't eat after nine p.m simply because I like to keep my blood sugars normal throughout the night. So by the time 8:30 a.m comes around I am pretty hungry and looking forward to sitting down for breakfast like most people are. I feel that if I skip breakfast my whole day will be unbalanced.

This morning I had my alarm set for 7:30 a.m well so I thought. 7:30 a.m passed, I was not up. 8:00 a.m passed, I was still asleep. It wasn't until 8:30 a.m did I wake up not to an alarm but rather to my roommates going about their morning. I couldn't believe that I slept in. I had a class in half an hour, I had to get ready, eat and march my way to a class that was on the complete opposite side of the school.

I considered missing the class entirely, but I changed my mind. I quickly got ready, grabbed a granola bar and speed walked to building B. I was there early believe it or not, but had worries about how well I could hold off not eating until nearly 10:30 a.m. I had never once in six months of being a diabetic skipped an entire meal.

After my class I headed back to residence and had an English muffin and peanut butter. My sugars were actually high but I figured that was because I had a granola bar. Now of course another dilemma. My next class was at 12 p.m. I had just had breakfast, I didn't want to eat lunch within the next hour, so I skipped lunch.

All I could think was how much I wished my alarm just went off so that I could have ate at the normal times I usually did. My head hurt, my stomach hurt and I felt miserable. I didn't eat lunch until 2 p.m and my sugars were high again. I figured that the stress of the day had an impact on me. Eating at irregular times isn't normal for me and my body wasn't aware of how to react to such a change.

It's weird how something as simple as sleeping in can be a big obstacle for a diabetic. It changed the way I went about my day and made me really think about what I was eating and when I was going to eat it. It gave me a chance to work through my knowledge and in the end it ended up working out and now I know for next time.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Yes, I'm Living with Diabetes

We speak from what we know. We can answer questions only if we some how have a gist of the subject or we can somehow base the answer on something we have learned in the past or experienced. I can clearly tell you what diabetes is but I can not tell you how an engine of a truck works. We all have been through different obstacles in our life that give us answers that many others are not aware of and I think that's a gift.

Participation is key in the majority of my classes in college. My teachers stress how important it is to share answers, stories and questions. Never in high school was I the person raising their hand hoping to get picked to share an answer, now however I am. I enjoy answering questions and giving my opinion. My interest in debate has highly increased since being diagnosed with diabetes. Strange?

I feel like my diabetes has given me a voice. I now can say, you know that's not right because or I think that's right because. I feel like my opinion is valid unlike before I felt less educated. It's different however coming from a background of illness. Like mentioned before, the word disease is not exactly seen as positive and when I share something diabetes related people are unsure how to take it.

An example was today in my Human Relations class. We had an assignment to write down twenty things about ourselves. They all had to start with, "I am." I am a diabetic, I am friendly, I am a scrapbooker, the list went on. We didn't have to share our twenty things but a question was asked, "Can our twenty identifications change?" I knew first hand that the way we describe ourselves surely can change so I raised my hand.

I am a quiet person, and therefore sit closer to the front of the room so my answer was heard by the teacher and the people sitting closest to me. My answer was, " I am diabetic, a lot of the way I identify myself now is different from the way I would have identified myself before being diagnosed." The teacher thought this was an excellent answer however wanted to repeat it to the rest of the class. Instead of repeating the answer right away like she did for most kids, she asked my permission first.

I found this strange. How come if a student was to share, "my identities changed when I moved to a different location," the teacher would just blurt that out to the class but once I give an answer about a disease changing my identity's, she needs permission. Of course I told her she could share it with the rest of the class, that's why I raised my hand.

I think the point that I am trying to get across is that people may not share their personal stories of pain, disease or upsets but I do. I realize that most of the answers I have in class come from what I have learned from diabetes and I am not afraid to admit that, yes I am living with diabetes.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Over 100 Blogs

I've officially wrote over 100 blogs. Although I've had diabetes for 191 days I have managed to capture 100 days of living with diabetes. It's strange how things come about, how my passion for writing merged with my passion for diabetes creating something that could quiet possibly change a lot of people's lives.

For me, it's hard to explain my blogs to my peers and people that I meet, because I don't think that blogging is something people truly appreciate. I understand that 'blogging' isn't exactly what most people enjoy doing or reading but for those who have something to share with meaning and passion, blogging is an excellent opportunity.

It started with me posting updates on Facebook. I would update a note every day just explaining what was going on. In a way it was my way of figuring out what was going on. It seems like I would be doing a million things at once during the day and trying to sort out all my new information was impossible. The computer allowed me to express my feelings.

After a month of blogging I realized the responses were so positive and encouraging. As I write these blogs I learn a lot about myself. These thoughts that flood my mind about living with diabetes some how disappear from my mind once I write to the public. This is like medication to me.

The appreciation I have for those who dedicate their time to reading my blogs is tremendous. I don't know how interesting these are to the public, I know that I find my stories interesting because I live out these days but people that are willing to listen and really learn from my writing are very important to me.

Over 100 blogs later and I feel confident in knowing that I am on my way to making a difference. Giving hope to those who are battling with diabetes and people who never dared to push the limits. Over 100 blogs later and I am proud.


Saturday, September 19, 2009


It's weird when you're newly diagnosed with diabetes. You feel like no one else has to live with this disease but you. You feel as if no body really knows how it feels to be different or knows what you have gone through.

I think for the most part that statement is true. Most people don't have a clue what it's like to live with diabetes and don't truly know what you go through. I think that is what makes meeting a diabetic so special. Soon as you meet someone who knows how you feel, has been through the weight loss, excessive thirst and insulin injections it gives you a feeling of belonging and reassures you that you're not alone.

It's such a weird story and almost like it was meant to happen. Last night I attended a party at residence and after deciding to play a drinking game just for the fun of it, I really thought about how this was going to work with my diabetes. Of course drinking is not a healthy habit and it is not something that I do often only on occasion. Once I realized that the drinks being poured were juice and vodka I immediately thought, "oh no my diabetes!" Of course I let the guy beside me knows that I needed to know what type of juice was in there and after making myself sound like I was crazy I told him that I was a diabetic.

"You're what?"
"A diabetic?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, why?"

I soon thought to myself, "Oh no this person is not accepting my disease!" I quickly showed him my medical bracelet trying to explain until he pulled out a dog tag necklace that was hidden under his shirt that said, "Type 1 Diabetes." We both looked at each other like we just saw a ghost. Although we were both clearly aware that other type 1's existed we just felt like all of a sudden we knew each other.

We talked about our ratios, Nova Rapid, Lantus, what we eat, when we were diagnosed, so many questions. I just couldn't believe it, my first diabetic friend at college. This gave me a sense of comfort. I knew that this guy knew what I was dealing with and I knew what he was dealing with. He watched out for me. Giving me snacks when he thought I needed them and just overall making sure that I was o.k.

I know that this small occurrence probably happens all the time and I know that I will meet tons of diabetics in my life time by chance but this really helped me settle with my disease.

I recall one part of the night sitting on the couch and just talking about how diabetes makes us so different from the rest of the world. We discussed getting strange stares when giving ourselves needles, not being able to eat when all our friends are eating and just having to live a completely different lifestyle than everyone else around us. At this moment, September 18th 2009 I learned something so very important. I am not the only one.

I sincerely thank him for making me feel just that much better about having diabetes. The comfort of another diabetic is greater than anyone can imagine.


Friday, September 18, 2009


I have noticed that my worries about diabetes aren't as huge as I thought of them before. Going into college I had so many worries about what it was going to be like, how people would accept me and how I was ever going to manage.

I realize that it has only been two weeks of college but the transition from home to college as been rather smooth thus far. I am learning each day what works and what doesn't work as far as managing my diabetes. Overall I have had better blood glucose levels in London than in Brantford.

Not only does this experience teach me that I can manage diabetes in school but it also teaches me that I can manage diabetes on my own. I know that I do need people to be there when I am unable to help myself but I do know now that in everyday life I can deal with this disease.

I think the biggest thing to understand before attending college is that you have to know that you are prepared. Once you know that you are prepared the worry fades and you realize that you're going to be o.k.

Preparation is key.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Person Behind the Disease

Perhaps I came across as if I didn't understand why people don't ask questions. I realize that there are many reasons why people don't ask questions. I, of course have a bias because I am living the life as a diabetic and therefore know first hand what it is like and what I prefer. But many diabetics let alone other people are not like me and I understand that. Some diabetics prefer not to even disclose that they are diabetic. Some rather just live out the disease without actually giving it thought and making choices based on their medical situation. However on the other hand I love exploring my diabetes and the options that it brings me.

Besides the 'material' things that having diabetes has given me such as tickets to a George Canyon show, an IPod, and many other things there are many things that have been given to me that are things that I would have never received or experienced if it wasn't for me embracing my diabetes.

I understand that when the word diabetes comes up people ultimately think of a disease that relates to sugar, eating, carbohydrates and the pancreas but what is diabetes really about?

We may think we know about a disease but it is the person that really defines the disease that they are living with. For example Cancer is a horrible disease it effects so many people but it effects so many people in so many ways. A cancer patient can say, yes it's horrible but I embrace it. I have strength and I am beautiful, while another cancer patient could tell you that cancer is the worst and that they don't deserve it and it makes them feel horrible and forget who they truly are.

In my last note I was sincerely trying to teach people that we may know about a disease and know that any disease is 'horrible' but we just need to think about the person behind that disease. If you ask a question, admire their inspiration, show them respect they're likely not going to ignore you or make you feel as if you have done something wrong. We all have stories of triumph, inspiration and strength and we can learn from one another.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Curious with Questions

I was told before going into college that there would be people with different reactions about diabetes. Some people would act curious with questions and remarks while others may say nothing at all as if you never told them you had a disease.

I understand that most people are not comfortable with diseases. The definition of disease is, a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment. ( So wouldn't a person automatically assume that you are not o.k or that you are simply not normal.

I know that there are thousands of diseases out there, some unheard of and some that people think of instantly such as cancer and diabetes. But when do we really think about the people that are living with these diseases and what makes people so scared of these people?

I guess that always crosses my mind. Recently more than ever because being in college I am faced with so many different people that I have to eventually explain to them that I am diabetic. I really find it interesting when I explain that I have diabetes and people don't say anything at all, as if I never said a word. I just don't understand how humans can not be curious. I realize that sometimes curiosity comes off rude but don't you think if someone is telling you about their disease that they are comfortable with questions?

I must not forget about the people that truly do take the time to learn and listen. If I am telling you about my diabetes I am telling you about my passion. Your passion may be hockey or maybe art, but my passion is based around my diabetes.

I love explaining diabetes and listening to what people think about the disease and hopefully one day, not too far down the road people will become o.k with the fact that people with diseases aren't a hazard to society and even though our goals and values may be different from the average healthy person we all are trying to live our dreams and conquer our battles. We all just need to listen.


Monday, September 14, 2009

The Little Voice

Sometimes it's easy to forget. It happens all the time, we leave our house in a hurry and forget our debit card or in my case I forget that I have to check my sugar and give myself a needle before eating.

It truly is a part of my routine now. I usually don't forget I have diabetes but there are times when I begin to eat a piece of toast without even thinking about going through my regular routine. I noticed that this usually happens when I am with a group of friends or at some one's house for dinner. I think that because it is still new to me, and no one else around me is doing it, I just don't think of it.

Truth is, it sucks having to do these things when everyone else is munching down on their french fries or chicken burgers but I can't let myself forget. There is always a little voice in my head that reminds me check your sugar and give yourself insulin. It's strange being different now. For most of my life I have been like everybody else, I could eat a candy apple on Halloween, share a bag of chips with the girls and drink regular pop like it was water but now my life has changed and I must not forget that.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Guardian Angel

The public has no awareness of my diabetes. When you look at me, talk to me, or interact with me you do not know that I am diabetic unless I tell you or you are able to read my medical alert bracelet. Therefore I can not expect people to know about my diabetes and know how to react when my sugar goes low or high.

Today was the first time that my sugar went extremely low in a public setting. Of course I have had low sugars before but never as severe as the one that I experienced today. It started when I parked in the parking lot, so I took a few Dex tablets before running in to pick up a few things from Dollar Giant. As I walked down the isles I could feel myself shaking but I knew that it wasn't a big deal so I had a couple more Dex tablets. For those who aren't aware what Dex 4 tablets are, they are basically sweet tarts just bigger. After having about 6 or 7 tablets I checked my sugar and noticed it was still 3.7. I quickly walked to the candy isle and couldn't decide on what to get. I knew in my head that I was going low but it was like I had a thousands choices and all the time in the world to pick but really I had only minutes.

I grabbed a bag of Sour Patch Kids and looked at the line up. It was much too long to wait so I ran up to an employee blowing up balloons near the front windows. I quickly asked her if I could eat the candy before purchasing it and I explained that my sugar was low. I felt so shaky, I could barely think and I just wanted to shove all the candies in my mouth at once. I was scared.

Of course out of all the people that are employees at Dollar Giant I choose to explain my diabetes to a woman whose daughter, age five, has Juvenile Diabetes. It was almost like a guardian angel. It's so weird to think of it that way but it's like no matter where I go, there is someone there who understands and can look out for me. She explained what worked best for her daughter who has had diabetes for about a year and a half and how her daughter deals with the difficult disease. I sincerely felt a sense of comfort from this woman I had only met for a few minutes. We exchanged emails and names. I now have another branch of support.

It seems like today was a big trial. I went low twice and they were both extreme lows. It feels like my sugar just didn't want to cooperate or that my insulin was working very, very well today, or maybe my pancreas decided to work again! I really have been learning and any extra advice is appreciated.


Friday, September 11, 2009

Don't Forget

I really wondered what it would be like dealing with diabetes in a classroom setting. However I put so much focus on what it was going to be like living with diabetes on residence and how to tell my roommates and peers that I truly forgot what diabetes is all about.

As a diabetic I have specific routines that I have just gotten used to. Although I have never lived with diabetes during a school year I thought that it wouldn't be that big of a challenge. I experienced first hand what diabetes in a classroom was like and it really gave me a wake up call like, "hey don't forget about me."

I was writing my first quiz and all of a sudden I knew that something was not right. I felt rushed and I was shaking. I knew that my sugar was going low however I also knew that this was my first quiz and it was timed. I was almost done and knew that if I focused hard enough I could make this possible and finish the quiz. I did finish the quiz with a 90% but learned a lesson much harder than the test. Don't forget.

It's so easy to think that nothing can happen, that you may have diabetes under control but at any time or place your sugar could decide to change. I don't know why my sugar did this to me, considering I had just had lunch but it happened and as soon as I finished the quiz I dealt with it.

It's a scary thought but it's something that I am learning from and I always will be learning from. As time goes on there will be days that I write how hard of a time I had, or what I hate about having this disease but in the end I accept it and if anything this hardship and pain that I go through will give me the strength and drive to find a cure.


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Different Outlook

Through listening to what my teachers have had to say thus far in my courses I am learning a lot about who I want to be and what my intentions are as far as my blogs. I know that it's strange to relate my blogs to a human relations class or even to a class about deviance but I sincerely want to learn more about different aspects of life and how I can use the information not only to advance myself in education but also to improve my life.

What really caught my attention was in human relations when we discussed how different things in our lives change our perspective of people and life in general. I can really relate this to diabetes because I truly know how it feels to have a situation in your life happen and have your whole idea on life change up side down.

I've learned through diabetes to just give others a chance. I want to hear about what you did on your weekend, or where you are going because I want to know more about you and possibly learn something from your experiences and relate them to mine. I think that we are all walking around with more knowledge than we give ourselves credit for. We need to share our stories and thoughts so that we all can expand our views.

My classes although will become demanding, frustrating or hard at times will always be looked at as very important. After being diagnosed I am thankful that I have a different outlook on life unlike most people. This gives me the chance to take more from just a text book or lecture, I can now apply it to my life.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Class Time

Our first classes began today and I was so excited to finally know what it was like. Since high school promises you that you won't be called by your name anymore, you will simply be a number, I found it hard to wrap my head around what it was going to be like. I was always so close to my teachers and felt comfort in them knowing that I could ask them for help or approach them at any time.

It was nothing like what we were preached at in high school. I realize some classes are different but my classes were super welcoming and it really made me feel better about the whole situation and transition. My teachers were greeting us with smiles and made us aware that they would remember our names by the end of the week.

I knew that coming into college I wanted to make the teachers aware of my disease. I wasn't sure how to go about telling them or when I should tell them but I knew that for my own safety and just for the general safety of the classroom I wanted her to know that I was dealing with a serious disease.

It's not like the classes are super long that something could really come into harms way but there is that chance that I could faint, act strange or need to have a snack immediately. It was so easy to just wait after class for a quick minute and quickly let them know that I have Juvenile Diabetes. Being the smart people they are, they seemed to know exactly what that entails and therefore it was just a brief, "I've got diabetes, I may need to have a snack, check my sugar or leave the class."

It's so important that the awkwardness about having a disease is broken. It's best if people understand that you are dealing with something serious but it isn't going to change anything. There is nothing wrong with living a different way and going through different life experiences as others. People are so accepting of it. Although there may rules such as no food or no bags, your health isn't going to be forgotten.


Monday, September 7, 2009


Tomorrow is the first day of classes and I am really excited to begin the new chapter in my life. I have had such a great experience thus far and can't wait to continue. Being away from home has defiantly been different but I have really managed to do well.

Diabetes really hasn't been in the way of anything. I barely even realize that I am battling a disease here because there are so many other things to do, places to be and people to meet. People here are accepting my disease and that is what makes me feel so comfortable and at ease.

Once classes start I know that my schedule will begin to change and so will my needs as far as eating goes. I will have to learn how to adjust to the change and know when and when not to eat. The most important thing that I have to remember is that my health comes first. I don't ever want to feel like I can't test my sugar in front of people, give myself insulin or eat a snack. I have to do what I have to do in order to maintain my healthy lifestyle as a diabetic.

This change although drastic has been smooth. My diabetes supplies are neatly packed in a drawer & basket and my roommates are fully aware of what I need and where to find it. I feel confident and knowing that they are there to look out for me, as I would do the same.

I hope that anyone that is going into college with a life changing disease doesn't have to worry about what it's going to be like. It's simply a way of living and all it takes is an explanation to help people understand what you're going through.



It's my third day in London and I can't believe how fast the days are going by. I never realized how ready I was to be on my own until this move. I know that I am able to take care of myself and my diabetes without having to rely on someone else.

This whole experience comes with so many learning opportunities. There are thousands of people at this school and I am lucky enough to be with three very nice girls in my residence. It was very reassuring when I was able to tell them about my diabetes and know that they were there to listen and learn about the disease that will follow me until we find a cure.

It's not easy explaining a disease to someone when you know that they could potentially be the one that has to save you. Every detail is extremely important because one quick second that I am not treated can lead me closer to unconsciousness or worse.

I have admit though all the stress and preparation that I put into what I was going to say was unnecessary. As I go along living with diabetes I have realized that people are more accepting than I gave them credit for. It's a lot of work trying to figure out diabetes and what to do, when to do it but ultimately it has to be done.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Brand New

Here I am in my new residence and I can barely believe that the day has come. I had thought so much about what it was going to be like only to find out it’s nothing how I thought it would be. It’s much better. I feel calm now, at ease, knowing that this big move has finally happend and I can now start my journey towards my future.

Isn’t it exciting to know you have achieved something that you only dreamed of. To know that I am okay to be on my own is really a great feeling. I can’t say that having diabetes has changed much about the whole sitation. Since being here, my diabetes has not changed anything as far as how I go about living. I still was able to check my sugars while moving in without even worrying about anything.

I had barely any stress today so my sugars stayed within target.I am so excited that I can finally experiance college with diabetes. Of course there are going to be days where I have no idea what to do but I know that with all the obstacles that have come up I am able to handle them. This is the start to something completely brand new. Not only am I learning each and everyday how to handle my diabetes at school I could possibly be helping thousands of other first year students living with diabetes all around the world.


Friday, September 4, 2009

No Excuse

This week has been one of the fastest weeks of the summer. I can hardly believe that Friday has already arrived. I am nervous yet anxious for Saturday morning to come simply because that is when I will be loading up the car and heading down to London, Ontario. I have spent a lot of time just thinking about what it's going to be like, and yet I know I won't know until I get there. It seems like I sit there in bed just thinking of how I am going to handle moving away and dealing with diabetes in a different environment such as college.

I won't hide the fact that I have been very upset these past couple days. I have been tossing and turning in bed not able to sleep because I just can't wrap my head around this huge change that I am about to make. I feel like this is the time for me to become my own person. To prove not only to myself but to everyone else that I can do this.

Dealing with diabetes this past week has been stressful. I have been having lows for no reason at all. I feel as if I am doing it to myself just through the stress that I put on myself. I am getting tension in my back as well as under my eyes and I have even felt sick to my stomach. I realize that it may seem as if I am over reacting about the whole situation but trying to handle not only the adjustment of living in a new place but also the adjustment of living with diabetes is extremely hard for me.

It now has not been quite six months since being diagnosed and yet there are days that I feel like I have had this forever and days where I feel like I was just released from the hospital. I feel like with each day that comes I am fighting a battle, it just never goes away.

With school I want to make sure that I keep all aspects in my life in check. I want to keep in mind why I am there, what I want to do and how I am going to work my way through the obstacles that school may bring. Diabetes isn't an excuse to not do something, fail something or give up.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Friendship & Family

Something that became more important in my life after being diagnosed was friendship and family. Of course I always cherished my friends and family and respected them, honoured them and trusted in them but after becoming diabetic it really has changed my views on these special people in my life.

I don't believe you can ever have too many friends. I realize that there will be friends in your life that aren't going to be the type you would confide in. But all friends have a purpose in your life and have really had an impact on the person you are today believe it or not. I now have found a new appreciate for those people in my life simply because without friends, I know I would not be happy.

I regret in high school not speaking up, not taking the first step by saying hello and not getting to know my fellow classmates but that just wasn't how I was back then. I realize that people may have walked all over me in high school, thought I was really nothing special but I do know that the people that I did become friends with truly meant a lot in my life and still do.

Moving away to a new city and school is going to give me a better opportunity to be the person that I am today. I do not fight back to speak up, I won't let anyone walk all over me and I will not place limits on the amount of people that I could possibly meet while I'm there. I am open for change, new ideas and memories.

As far as family goes, I really have realized the importance of staying in touch. I have really come close to my Aunt Lisa who is probably reading this write now thinking, "she said my name!" I feel like with her I can say whatever I want and know that she is going to be thinking positive about any situation that I may bring to her. Of course there are many other family members in my life that have shown me such support and understanding and they all have impacted me in so many different ways.

I think the biggest thing for people to know is that it can feel like there is no one supporting you sometimes are that you're alone but no matter where you go there will be someone there to support you. Friends and family are the best gift in life that you will ever receive and that is what we need to learn to take pride in. Making phone calls may seem silly sometimes or writing a one paragraph email to your friend back home but in the end that call or email will mean so much to the person receiving it.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My Learning Curve

These past two days have been so frustrating, reassuring and scary I must admit. It feels like my whole life is being pulled in a different direction and it's up to me to figure it all out and put it in its place. I guess the biggest change right now is the fact that I am moving 100 kilometres away from my home and starting college.

Yesterday I was suppose to move into my residence. I could barely sleep Sunday night knowing that I would soon be loading up all my stuff and heading to London for the big move in. But all of my excitement was crushed as soon as I got there because I found out that I was put into the new building, which isn't finished yet so therefore I was moved to another building. It seems like no big deal but it really threw me for a loop and not only just my emotions but my diabetes. It changed everything as soon as I was put into a different room, I now would be with roommates that were not specifically matched with me and the room was an absolute mess. I did not feel comfortable one bit in that room and Clinton could clearly tell I was uncomfortable.

I starred out the window looking down at the people getting their stuff to move in. I just couldn't see it anymore. I looked at the desk, the bed, I felt as if I was thrown in jail. So what if I came acrossed as a Princess but I really didn't want to spend the whole year in a place that made me feel upset. Being the person Clinton is, he directed me back down the front desk to get things sorted out again. I finally with a little difficulty was put back into the new building, refunded my $125 for early move in and was told to come back on Saturday for move in. If it wasn't for Clinton I probably would have just pouted as I unpacked my stuff in the mess of a room. I thank him for that.

During this whole situation my sugar went from 11.5 to a 4.8 and that was only in about an hour time span. This clearly states that my diabetes doesn't hold well under stress. I realized I was going low because my emotions were high, I was having a difficult time making decisions and I was feeling sick to my stomach. I realize that with college there will be a huge amount of stress that I am bound to take on but I must find ways to relax myself and realize that it isn't the end of the world.

Now that this is all sorted out I feel much better. I realize that if I had stayed in that room my life could be completely changed and I think that was the biggest thing that bothered me but I need to understand that I do have control of my life. I think sometimes because I was diagnosed with diabetes I let "fate" decide my choices in life rather than making them on my own.

Today was my orientation in London. It was also my first time driving to London all by myself. It was interesting driving there because I had never travelled so far without a passenger to keep me company. One thing I think that is important about driving with diabetes is that you should always have food on you. The reason I think it's super important is because it may be only an hour drive but you could always hit traffic and end up spending a whole lot longer than an hour in your car. I know this will be very important for travelling to London.

When I got there, although my nerves were high I met a couple a very nice girls that were heading the orientation. I think that, that made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. Just sitting in the building made me shake, I actually thought my sugar was low and checked it but it was at 13.3, it was all just nerves. It was nice though, it really took away the whole edge of moving to a new city and going to a brand new school.

As always there are challenges in my days that make me have to step back, re-evaluate and make a choice. I knew before heading out this morning that lunch was going to be an obstacle. I was aware of the free lunch but wasn't sure of what time we would be eating. I packed food in my purse just in case. Once I realized that we were being served lunch at 11:00 it made me feel a lot better about eating earlier rather than eating later in the day. I sat with my new found friends and ate lunch.

Of course I had another obstacle once I was given the free lunch. Although it stated on the website that there would be pizza it ended up being a package of a large sandwich, chips, two cookies and a pop. Like any other time I counted carbs, checked my sugar and gave myself insulin. I realized that people barely even noticed that I was giving myself a needle and if they did, it sure didn't seem to bother them. You have no idea how reassuring that was.

I guess that I can say I am proud of myself for these past two days because I've really had some tough situations that really threw me off. I realize that diabetic or not people are going to go through these challenges but it truly just makes it that more difficult when you're not only dealing with the whole school situation but also a disease.

I am just on a huge learning curve right now and I know that I can succeed.