Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My Learning Curve

These past two days have been so frustrating, reassuring and scary I must admit. It feels like my whole life is being pulled in a different direction and it's up to me to figure it all out and put it in its place. I guess the biggest change right now is the fact that I am moving 100 kilometres away from my home and starting college.

Yesterday I was suppose to move into my residence. I could barely sleep Sunday night knowing that I would soon be loading up all my stuff and heading to London for the big move in. But all of my excitement was crushed as soon as I got there because I found out that I was put into the new building, which isn't finished yet so therefore I was moved to another building. It seems like no big deal but it really threw me for a loop and not only just my emotions but my diabetes. It changed everything as soon as I was put into a different room, I now would be with roommates that were not specifically matched with me and the room was an absolute mess. I did not feel comfortable one bit in that room and Clinton could clearly tell I was uncomfortable.

I starred out the window looking down at the people getting their stuff to move in. I just couldn't see it anymore. I looked at the desk, the bed, I felt as if I was thrown in jail. So what if I came acrossed as a Princess but I really didn't want to spend the whole year in a place that made me feel upset. Being the person Clinton is, he directed me back down the front desk to get things sorted out again. I finally with a little difficulty was put back into the new building, refunded my $125 for early move in and was told to come back on Saturday for move in. If it wasn't for Clinton I probably would have just pouted as I unpacked my stuff in the mess of a room. I thank him for that.

During this whole situation my sugar went from 11.5 to a 4.8 and that was only in about an hour time span. This clearly states that my diabetes doesn't hold well under stress. I realized I was going low because my emotions were high, I was having a difficult time making decisions and I was feeling sick to my stomach. I realize that with college there will be a huge amount of stress that I am bound to take on but I must find ways to relax myself and realize that it isn't the end of the world.

Now that this is all sorted out I feel much better. I realize that if I had stayed in that room my life could be completely changed and I think that was the biggest thing that bothered me but I need to understand that I do have control of my life. I think sometimes because I was diagnosed with diabetes I let "fate" decide my choices in life rather than making them on my own.

Today was my orientation in London. It was also my first time driving to London all by myself. It was interesting driving there because I had never travelled so far without a passenger to keep me company. One thing I think that is important about driving with diabetes is that you should always have food on you. The reason I think it's super important is because it may be only an hour drive but you could always hit traffic and end up spending a whole lot longer than an hour in your car. I know this will be very important for travelling to London.

When I got there, although my nerves were high I met a couple a very nice girls that were heading the orientation. I think that, that made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. Just sitting in the building made me shake, I actually thought my sugar was low and checked it but it was at 13.3, it was all just nerves. It was nice though, it really took away the whole edge of moving to a new city and going to a brand new school.

As always there are challenges in my days that make me have to step back, re-evaluate and make a choice. I knew before heading out this morning that lunch was going to be an obstacle. I was aware of the free lunch but wasn't sure of what time we would be eating. I packed food in my purse just in case. Once I realized that we were being served lunch at 11:00 it made me feel a lot better about eating earlier rather than eating later in the day. I sat with my new found friends and ate lunch.

Of course I had another obstacle once I was given the free lunch. Although it stated on the website that there would be pizza it ended up being a package of a large sandwich, chips, two cookies and a pop. Like any other time I counted carbs, checked my sugar and gave myself insulin. I realized that people barely even noticed that I was giving myself a needle and if they did, it sure didn't seem to bother them. You have no idea how reassuring that was.

I guess that I can say I am proud of myself for these past two days because I've really had some tough situations that really threw me off. I realize that diabetic or not people are going to go through these challenges but it truly just makes it that more difficult when you're not only dealing with the whole school situation but also a disease.

I am just on a huge learning curve right now and I know that I can succeed.


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