Thursday, November 22, 2012

How I see Diabetes

I deal with diabetes 24/7 and never does it give me a rest.  There isn't a minute of the day that I am unaware that I have diabetes, there is always a vibration or slight headache that reminds me that I have something to take care of.  Unlike the average 22 year old I see the blood from my finger tips daily, I wake up in the middle of the night feeling confused, sweaty, hungry and need to find food a.s.a.p.  Unlike most people I know what my body is doing, what it feels like to not have insulin and what it feels like to go low.   

I know my body more than anyone else in this world - but there comes a time every three months when you don't know your body or at least it appears this way.  Every diabetic has experienced the diabetes education centre - and don't get me wrong, this place is important to go to, it's important to listen and I know each person at the diabetes education centre is well trained and knows diabetes.   However, non-diabetics - imagine you had to recall what you ate two weeks ago, and not only that, imagine you had to recall what you were exactly doing at that moment.. and imagine despite what you thought felt right, good or correct ... there is always something you can do better....imagine that! 

Diabetes isn't my only job.  Of course, I am thinking and 'doing' diabetes daily; however, I am not perfect nor are my numbers, eating habits or lifestyle going to be either.  To be honest, it's hard to sit in front of professionals and hear what you're doing wrong or what you should be doing when you spent the past two weeks trying hard. It's hard to hear that despite how YOU feel, it's not O.K and things need to be different. 

I have been given lots of great advice from professionals and really, they are the ones that are trained to tell you what you should and shouldn't do when trying to bring your numbers closer to target. But, like I said it can be difficult to hear that things need to be changed especially when you know how much work you had put in in the past couple weeks to get you where you are today. 

I am sure I am not the only one who feels the judgement when heading into a d.e.c no matter where they are going.  Seeing your numbers and life basically scattered on sheets of paper before you - nurses circling highs and lows, asking what you did here and telling you what you should do despite you not personally feeling comfortable about it. It's hard because translating the life of a living, breathing diabetic to textbooks in medicals schools is much different.  As diabetics we are so much more than professional diabetics, we are athletes, teachers, parents, students and social beings.

 It is important to me to be a healthy person, to live beyond what is expected and to be a great role model for those that look up to me.  I want that professional advice, I want to have a place to go with questions to get answers and encouragement, but no matter I end up feeling like the disease I treat every single day is something much different when its scattered on paper and being picked apart, I feel drawn away from it and want to just go back to how I see diabetes.



  1. So true <3 thanks Kayla for putting this in writing!

  2. Love this. I'm sure there is always something to "do better" (in the non-diabetic's life also!), but it would be nice if the good numbers were noticed also. You're the best diabetic I know!