Sunday, April 22, 2012

Writing, Checking, Bolusing

I often wondered what keeps us motivated as diabetics.  What stops us from ripping out our sites and throwing our insulin pumps and tubing across the room? As much as I wonder this, at the same time the obvious reasons come to mind such as wanting to stay alive, but despite knowing the obvious reason, what else is it? Why do we sometimes think about giving up when our pump goes flying into oncoming cupboards or strip after strip has 'not enough blood' to get a reading on our meter?

CIM Beach Volleyball - Sick of Pricks Team!    
None of us asked for diabetes and unfortunately, a lot of diabetics do not know any different.  Around us surround people who can eat carbs freely and can just fret over the needle from blood work they get once a year, but for us as diabetics we are doing this every single day, we are counting carbs, testing our blood sugar, giving ourselves needles and constantly fighting to keep smiling or at least keep content.   I hear horror stories of people wanting to give up and avoiding checking their blood sugars or taking insulin - is diabetes really taking lives in such an emotional way?

We always here about diabetes complications being drastic measures of amputation or loss of eye sight, but does anyone really dive into what it does to your mind.  How it can make you stronger as easily as it can make you weak.  This goes for diabetic mothers and fathers as well, a good hour of diabetes control can lead to four hours of frustration - nothing can predict a good day of diabetes - it isn't a matter of fact of what side of the bed you wake up on.

For me, motivation comes from my involvement within the community. Behind closed doors I am still diabetic as much as I am in the public. I equally am conscious about my diabetes and yes, it may be easier to just shut up, check and bolus, but at the same time, if I was stuck in the daily routine of diabetes, I would be going crazy. I personally need to be out there, I need to be available, I need to create something that isn't there, I need to smile, I need to have humour about my diabetes, I need to have something to be proud about, I need to know I know something about something that most people don't and I NEED that support and feedback that keeps me writing, checking and bolusing.  I NEED THAT.

That is my motivation from keeping me throwing my insulin pump into the neighbours backyard and to keep checking my blood sugar.   I know that this doesn't work for everyone, not everyone enjoys writing or being the centre focus in the diabetes community. I get that, as much as pumps aren't for everyone and neither are multiple daily injections.  Diabetes is full of diversity, different meters, different pumps, different insulins, different strips and most importantly different people.

So what motivates you and if you haven't found it yet - keep searching, please keep searching because the most important thing about you, is that you're here today!

Kayla


6 comments:

  1. what motivates me- I want to live a long full life so I can watch my kids grow up, Diabetes is for sure a rollar coast of a ride that is not always fun to ride, I take each day that I am here on earth a true blessing. I could go on & on, but what truly motivates me is I want to watch my kids grow up, even if they can make this momma crazy ;-)

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  2. Well, I don’t really know “life” without diabetes; it’s always been a part of me. I’ve learned to embrace it as a part of my identity, and although I never chose to be diabetic, I still take it as a life lesson. Life is just too short and fragile to let anything other than yourself control your destiny. I’ve decided to embrace it for what it’s worth, and just make the best of it. I have such a long life ahead of me; I have so much that I want to accomplish. And if I let my diabetes control my destiny… then, well, I wouldn’t even be here today. So, what’s my motivation to stay healthy? LIFE… life is my motivation :) !

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  3. My motivation is proving the statistics wrong. Almost my whole life I've been diabetic. And by now (according to the statistics), I should be suffering from retinopathy, circulatory problems in my feet, digestive problems, and any other diabetes complication in the book. Yet somehow, I have yet to suffer from even the emotional drawbacks of T1. Growing up, my parents always told that as long as I stay active, and balance my diet with my insulin, I will never be at risk. So, today, at 23 years old, and 20 years of life with juvenile diabetes, my motivation to taking care of my body, mind, and spirit. My motivation is proving to myself that I can beat this. I can fight this. I can be everything I ever wanted to be. I am me.

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  4. What motivates me - I dont want my young kids to see me being woken up by paramedics again. I found out the hard way my glucose monitor was screwed up (it told me in the middle of the night i was 25.1 so i bolused for it, i was really 6.8 when i retested after taking the insulin) So i took a bunch of juice and a snack and went back to bed. Thats the last thing i remember. I was then woken up in a low sugar to hearing my twins babies crying in the next room, my 3 year old son was by my head holding my hand and touching my face. Looking scared. Luckily i have a awesome husband who after trying to wake me up called 911 and got the paramedics to get me IV glucose to wake me up.

    After having that episode I will never forget the look on my sons face. I always double check any strange sugar levels, and always remember to bolus. Its a hard job and even harder when you have lots of little ones to look after. But Like others said before me who have kids, i want to see my boys grow up, they've given me a reason to keep up with my diabetes. I to would love to take my pump and glucose monitors and set fire to them. lol

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  5. I was one of those horror stories you hear about people no testing or giving themselves insulin for nearly 5 years I neglected my diabetes it started with just testing once a day and eventually grew to meet testing and not using my pump sometimes not even putting my pump on or letting it go days on end empty leaving the needle in to where they would get infected. But I have recently realized I am not alone in this I started turning things around about 8 months ago when I met my friend Anne who is now a really good friend of mine through my endo she really helped me get motivated texted me multiple times a day to remind me to test and was really my support system through the past 8 months along with some really good non diabetic friends who keep me motivated! And recently meeting all of these people online in diabetes communities has been extremely motivating ecspeacilly reading your blogs Kayla they have inspired me and kept me going!

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  6. Yep, another horror story here too. for years from about age 11-21 I just did not care. I was on premixed insulin and Im sure my endo was just hoping that id make it through. And make it i did!
    I find different motivators in my life. Now a days its my pregnancy and the promise of a healthy baby if i can keep an eye on my diabetes. If i do the best i can then my baby will have a wonderful start to life.

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