Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Lead the Way

So when life knocks you down you have to brush off your knees and get back up again.
You have to look ahead and not behind you.
You have to remember but move on.
You have to have no fear but you can be scared.
You have to know that there are people there for you.
You can't pretend that nothing is wrong, yet you can't live as if everything is wrong.
You can't change who you are.
You just can't.

I may have just jotted down those quick 8 thoughts in a matter of minutes but I have been thinking about them this past week. Since I have had time off after being in the hospital it's hard not to think about where this past year has taken me. Although in a short 4 days I will have had diabetes for a year it seems as if I may have had this disease for my entire life. Yet at times it feels like just yesterday that I was diagnosed.

I begin with saying when life knocks you down you have to brush your knees off and get back up again. Life took me right off my feet a few times and it's been hard to get back up I must admit. But some how with amazing support I've managed to carry on without having the speed bumps completely stop me from continuing on. I know that I am not the only one who deals with heartache, anger, pain, sadness and confusion. I know for a fact that there are people out there who have so many things to worry about beyond their control that I can only wish I could help them with. It's important that we all realized that we all go through these hurdles and we need to be there for one another even if that means lending a hand to help someone up.

I have to look ahead and not behind. My past incident did indeed scare me, but I cannot let that past incident stop me from looking ahead. I cannot be afraid of what is to come because the future is unwritten and if it is written we at least don't have permission to see the script. I will have scary moments to come and I know my life won't be a complete walk in the park but I cannot let the past scares predict what my future is. I am strong enough to lead the way.

Even though we cannot live in the past we cannot forget what has happened. Diabetes happened to me, it will always be 'happening to me' and what it brings to me along the way will only make me a stronger person, a stronger diabetic. What happens in life is strange, but it is also a bunch of lessons. Take the lessons and move on.

Don't fear the future. It's okay to be scared but you cannot have fear. We are all strong individuals who are scared of being hurt and taking risks but we can all conquer those battles with support from our family and friends. Be fearless.

Diabetes has given me the chance to build amazing relationships with my friends and family. I can personally guarantee every single one of you that there are people that are unconditionally there for you. Just know that you are not alone.

Things in life go wrong all the time, no one that I know of lives a perfect life, although it may look like it from afar. Things will go wrong all the time, nothing works out to be perfect but it's those little imperfections that make the moments more special and memorable. Some things will not work out but that doesn't mean nothing wont.

You can't change who you are. You are who you are. I am a diabetic but that's not only who I am. I have found myself through my disease and everyone can find themselves through different changes in their life. In the end you cannot be someone you're not. You have to work with it.

One simple incident has changed my entire life. It has made me appreciate my health and think about that special things in life that have made me who I am. I have realized just how fragile life can be.


1 comment:

  1. kayla thankyou so much for this blog.
    I just got diagnosed with type 1 a few days ago, and at the moment everything is still scary and new and confronting. its so nice to know that other people go through this too!