Friday, May 1, 2009

What If?

Have you ever wondered if one thing was different in life, how many other things would change? If you hadn't decided to join a club would you have ever met your best friend? What if you didn't decide to go to school would you know what you know now? So many choices that we make change the outcome of our lives. Sometimes I wonder what if?

I've always tried to think that everything happens for a reason. After being diagnosed I was at the mall and saw a key chain at Halmark that said, "just believe, everything happens for a reason" I had to buy it because it's a reminder that as much as you think you don't deserve what happened, it happened for a reason. Just believe!

I thought about something as simple as working at Smitty's. I dropped off my resume there, not thinking much of it, only to be called an hour later because I was hired. I never would have thought that, that simple resume drop off would make such a big impact on my life. First off, I met two very special friends there, that I don't know what I would do without now. They know who they are. I can't think of any other way I could have met these girls, they don't even live in Brantford. Not only did I meet two wonderful ladies but I also met someone who I am very fond of, my boyfriend. He didn't work at Smitty's but he was friends with the ladies. It all leads hand in hand, in which your life is made. It's amazing how one simple choice leads to so many different things.

In life we go through so much, big and little issues. At times we think, 'I'll never get through this' only to realize a couple years later, 'wow that was dumb!' We have all been there more than once in our life, we regret, get frustrated, confused and move on, only to think, what if?

This leads to me thinking, what if I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes? I know people say it's not healthy to think this way but seriously who doesn't? If I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes would I have just kept doing my daily gym routine, only to give up like everyone else, and gain weight back? In a way I can't think of positives anymore for not living without diabetes. I know it would be nice to not give myself needles, not check my blood sugar and eat junk! But in a way I think this disease was given to me for a reason.

I have met the most wonderful, beautiful people. People that well I met before I had diabetes. It wasn't until I was given this disease that I realized how beautiful people are inside, people that didn't talk to me in high school, didn't talk to me on Facebook, wouldn't know me if I passed them on the street, these people who were simply just names and faces to me, are now viewed so differently to me.

I am proud in a way to be able to get to know these people. I am also honoured to meet other people that are new in my life. People who share similar stories with me, and can relate to me on a level that many others can't about my diabetes. What if I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes? I would not know how truly beautiful my peers are, how much they care and believe in me and what I am doing. I would not know how far someone will go to make sure that I am okay, to know that that person is going to take care of you through thick and thin. I would not have the knowledge to inspire and teach people about my disease and the importance of health. Without my diabetes, what am I?

Today I can happily say that I am OKAY with having type 1 diabetes. I am OKAY that I have to live this life day to day, despite the frustration that this disease brings. I am OKAY to know that I can go low, I can go high, there can be bad days, good days and days that I don't know what to do. I am OKAY because I have beautiful friends and family. So the next time you think what if? Don't be afraid because you will realize everything happens for a reason.


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