Sunday, May 17, 2009

No Effort

I haven't felt well. It seems every day I wake up with some kind of ache. I feel like my body is getting used to the lower blood sugar numbers. I believe I've spent so much time being high that going to normal puts my body through a huge spin.

I woke up low this morning, and really didn't notice. It scares me that I might go low in the night and won't notice. I don't want to fear going low, instead I want to be comfortable with the fact that it can happen at anytime. The more I
experience lows and highs the more I will know.

I have to admit this is the weirdest learning curve I've ever been on. It seems they can teach you all they want through schooling but in a way you have to learn by
experience. Obviously they wouldn't teach you about living with diabetes in school but it seems I've learned about the body over and over again in science and it's just now that I am starting to understand it.

This week has been tough, I would say one of my toughest weeks. The reason being is that I have just been upset. I realize all the happiness that has
happened in my life but there is always that quick thought, "I wish I didn't have this disease." I know it's made me a better, stronger and healthier person but sometimes it's devastating to not be like the rest of my friends, eat whenever and not worry about the consequences.

Without the support of my friends and family, especially my boyfriend, this would be ten times harder. It's hard to imagine having to tackle this on my own because who knows, I could have given up by now.

The important thing that I learned this week is that love doesn't take effort it just happens. The people that reach out to you, support you, and are there for you whenever, are not having to put effort into it, they just do it out of love. That's a great feeling.


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