Saturday, August 22, 2009

Week of Frustration

I think it must be a necessity to give people a week of frustration because this week was defiantly my week. It can only make me think back to why I deserve this stress and complication that fills my mind. I make myself feel sick, nervous and annoyed simply because things just aren't falling into place.

I know we should all look at the bright side of things and that's what the girls made me do today. "Maybe all this stuff is happening to prepare you, or finalize things." But I wish these little life lessons we learn throughout our life were more subtle than the ones that I have been receiving.

I keep to myself and hold back from arguments and try not to voice my opinion to loud but I could help but express my feelings last night when I went out for a drink with a good friend. It seems everything in my life in the past year has made me who I am today. Of course previous to this past year I have been learning and experiencing new things but it wasn't until this year that I really learned a lot about respecting myself as a person. I talked about how diabetes has changed me.

My opinion is that we all think that we are not good enough at times. That we can do better no matter how hard we try, we will never live up to be the best. I want to say that at those moments we are so wrong. We are able to conquer everything. I know many people that read this barely know me but a year ago I was not the same person as I am today. I didn't have the confidence to speak up and say that's wrong I deserve better and I didn't have the will power to push forward and achieve my goals. Today I look back and think of all the accomplishments that I have done in the past five months and think of the people who didn't believe in me, who pushed me around, who used me and say, look where I am today.

I can't let anything stop me from becoming who I want to be. My dreams are bigger than I ever imagined. No person or disease will tell me what's right and what's wrong. I can be the pilot of my own life, I don't need a passenger to nag at me about where to go or how fast.

I am going to push through.


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