Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Always There

I don't want to be scared. I don't want to cry, but sometimes it's hard not too. I find myself stressed, tired, confused at times and I can't help but wonder what the future holds for me. I release that in life we go through things that can only be taken day by day and my disease is one of them.

I can't let myself think of what diabetes is going to be like in ten years because I honestly don't know. I can't let myself fear the future. I have to keep my head up and focus on each day as if it was my last. Put my heart into what I do and don't let a single opportunity pass me by.

I got my schedule for school yesterday and couldn't overcome the fact that I would have to figure out where I can fit in lunch and dinner. The whole class after class thing made me so worried about what I am supposed to do I couldn't focus on anything else. I burst out in tears, and by tears I mean a rain storm. I just kept worrying, thinking what I was going to do and how it was going to work. I knew that if I made it through vacations and strange work schedules I could do anything but I still kept thinking, "why the heck did I get this now?"

I had to ask. I went on Facebook clicked on chat and searched for a diabetic friend. Chelsea Lumiere was the only one that was online and I figured she would know the answers to my fears. Of course she was so helpful and reassured me that it will be hard but you get used to it and figure it all out and once you get used to it you will wonder why you feared it so much. I couldn't thank her enough knowing that without having her respond I probably would have sobbed much longer.

I know that I will be okay. With every challenge I conquer the stronger I will be. I want to be the person that a diabetic can go to when going to college or anything really. I hope that with keeping up with my blogs I will bring us closer as diabetics and know that there is always someone there.


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