Sunday, August 23, 2009
Cry a Little
Finally I let out all my frustration to Clinton, someone I know I can trust and believe in. All I needed to do was express to someone my anger and sadness. He really thought hard of how to answer me and give me something to think about but I had strong opinions about how I felt.
I feel horrible that I sometimes take things out on Clinton. When my sugars go crazy, I go crazy. I get angry at whoever is around me for whatever they may be doing and sometimes they're just trying to help me. I said yesterday I am done feeling sad. I need to get over the fact that I have this disease and I can now only believe that it is going to be cured.
Of course I usually talk about all the wonderful things diabetes has brought me. It's true. Diabetes has brought me a whole new meaning of life and really has pulled me in the right direction as far as reaching for my goals and taking on challenges. But I am not going to sit here and write lies to you. It very true that this disease is very emotional.
I have days where I just sit in bed wondering what has happened. It seems with any ones life days go by like seconds and we can barely grasp what is going on around us. Most of us don't experience as much change as I did in a matter of months so imagine time moving so fast and then just sitting there thinking about what is different.
I don't like the fact that now I have to express to people I have a disease, when the doctor asks about medication I have to say Insulin or the fact that when people offer me food and someone tells them I'm diabetic they feel as if they offered alcohol to a recovering addict. But I do like the fact that every single day, bad or good I am able to wake up and share my experiences to everyone.
I don't want anyone to go through the emotional side of diabetes alone. It's too much for one person to handle by themselves. If you don't have someone to talk to, then I want these blogs to be available. I can guarantee you will cry, but I can also guarantee that the next day is going to be much brighter.
We all need to cry a little.