Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sometimes I forget who I've become. I forget that I can't eat a piece of pizza without checking my sugar, I forget that before bed I have to take my insulin and the odd time I forget that those large t-shirts are just not going to fit me anymore.
Over the past few months I went from grabbing food whenever I wanted to, to looking at the label first and going through my routine of checking and giving insulin accordingly. The drastic change has not yet settled but has become easier as time goes by. Of course like anything I end up forgetting all together that I am diabetic. For instance, today Clinton took me to the Marina for a nice lunch at Williams. Although he printed out the entire menu and nutritional facts for me, I quickly forgot my routine. As the meal was served I picked up my wrap and took a big bite, "Oh no! I didn't even check my sugar!" I couldn't believe that something I do more than 4 times a day had slipped my mind so easily.
I sometimes think about what it was like to not care so much. To be care free to the point where I could eat an entire chocolate bar before dinner and then ask for seconds. I wonder what it would be like if this disease didn't find me until college, or even later in life. Where would I be now? Who would I be?
Although it's easy to forget in the moment about my diabetes or about the size of clothes I now wear, I always snap back and realize just who I really am. Life moves so fast, you have to take the time to remember, live and love. I can not let my strength, awareness and positivity slip away from me, but I know in the quick moments that I forget there will always be someone there to remind me, " uh, Kayla check your sugar!"