Thursday, July 30, 2009

Feel Perfect

I never have had a day that I felt perfect. I can start off a morning feeling great but as the afternoon rolls in I may end up dealing with a headache or fatigue. It seems that getting your sugar under control is harder than it appears. Although I've had fairly good numbers, once and awhile it escalates or falls short. It's been 5 months and it's still shocking my body and sending it for loops.

The strangest feelings seem to hit me every now and then. I believe they are diabetes related but I can not be positive. It seems the odd time my toes will go numb, or I will become so tired that I can barely open my eyes or speak. I always know that these feelings soon fade but my goal is to try and prevent them from happening. I want to eat healthier. I try my hardest to eat the best of foods and avoid junk food but as any human does, it's hard not to have something from the, 'dark side.' I know that soon I will be going to college and I will be on a meal plan so I must get into the habit of eating healthy to avoid weight gain, high blood sugars and unhappiness.

It's not easy having all this on my plate right now. I find it hard to focus on the happiness and joy of things while having diabetes. Although I am glad that this disease found me, I'm proud of my accomplishments and overall diabetes is only a step forward rather than a step back, I still find myself focusing so much time on how I'm feeling rather than other things I once loved to do.

A few weeks ago Clinton asked me to go to the beach with him on a Saturday morning. I absolutely love the beach and in a heart beat, normally I would say yes. I always find myself feeling not that great and once again fearing that there would be no medical attention for me, I did not go. I know now that I should have went. What fun is it laying in bed not feeling well. I now know that I don't want to let an imperfect health day ruin a perfect day because in the end it all goes away and I feel just fine.

I'm sure one day, I'll have my first perfect day. Not to say I haven't had perfect days but health wise I have not. I want to wake up feeling awesome, eat lunch feeling great and go to bed excited for tomorrow. That's the way everyone should live their lives. With each day that passes, I feel a little better about my health and know that one day, I'll feel perfect.


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