It's always hard to take others advice about something that you have your own personal beliefs about. Things like running your own diabetes, when in reality like a child it takes a village to take care of a diabetic or at least it seems that way. Starting at a new hospital I will soon have had three appointments there in a matter of four weeks and like most diabetics, I just looovvveee diabetes related appointments.
It's like American Idol or any of those judging shows really, you have to present yourself before a panel and see if it's good enough. Of course, you're nervous and not sure if it is your 'best' work or not. You think of excuses if it just wasn't good enough and promise you will be better next time and if the appointment is really bad you will run off crying. But, the reality of it is that they are just trying to help and most of the professional may not know your background, what you have been up too etc. so we can't expect them to fully understand whacky numbers and missed blood sugar checks.
For these past appointments I have been getting the run down about diabetes which is more or less kind of a nice reminder. Of course I know what it feels like to go low, and what my blood sugar should be to drive, but in the same breath it is nice to go over what I already know to remind myself to be a better diabetic. Of course I know this stuff, I know when I don't check my blood sugar two hours after a meal that I am not doing diabetes properly - but the convenience of not checking my blood sugar seems to win - always.
It's hard to realize that what I have been doing with diabetes isn't really the best. I mean, I am surviving and having decent blood sugars, but looking at how I use my pump, as my nurse said, "it's like strapping a syringe to yourself..." I am not taking advantage of technology which I should be doing with this seven thousand or so dollar machine I wear constantly.
The consequences of not dealing with diabetes the best we can is enormous. We want to one day say that we ONCE had diabetes, but we have to be alive and thriving to say so. So, I think sometimes as hard as it may be, it's good to take the advice we already know.
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