Sunday, June 17, 2012

Talking Diabetes

It's always a little awkward when you're around people you don't know so well, and the topic of diabetes comes up.  It's like you want to shout, "I'm diabetic too!" but in a way you know they have no idea who you are, you have no idea who they're talking about, and you don't truly want to put yourself in that situation of the awkward diabetic who knows all about diabetes.

Yesterday at a BBQ, a quick topic of diabetes came up that went something along the lines of, "so&so lost the bottom half of his leg..."  *my first thought - diabetes*   "YEAH! he had diabetes...he didn't take care of himself."  Now, this situation is tragic - I have heard it 100x, but I couldn't help but look up at Vince and think, 'Oh my...another story...'    after that the other lady said that this other man forgot to take his insulin before eating - then she called him a dork. Everyone laughed, including me, thinking now Vince will be calling me a dork every time I forgot to take insulin.

It's hard not to pipe in, give some say in it all, tell a funny 'diabetic' story. Instead, I kept my mouth shut, as Vince tried not to laugh at me, instead he just smiled.   He knows me well, so he probably knows it took all my power not to bust out  into conversation - however, I let it go on, like I was just an average joe, who knew nothing much about that disease. But, honestly, for a change it felt kind of nice not saying a single thing. Pretending I haven't built my life around diabetes, pretending I was ignorant to anything to do with diabetes, acting shocked when she said he lost his leg - thinking it was impossible, laughing that that other man forgot to take his insulin - pretending not to even realize what insulin was or how often he had to take it.   I should have just pretended I knew nothing - asking them what exactly diabetes was? what he had to do?  was it common?   - only to laugh inside at their answers.  But, I am not that sneaky! ha!

Sometimes it is nice to step back from diabetes.  To be in an atmosphere where you can just talk about whatever you want, without making side notes about diabetes.  It is nice to just enjoy yourself, doing fast blood sugar checks and pump adjustments, without anyone asking a single thing.  But, don't get me wrong, I love to chat about diabetes - but every now and then it is nice to slip back to being just an average Kayla.


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