Friday, July 30, 2010

Upside Down

We all dream - some of our biggest dreams are formed when we are young and with time we either make or break those dreams. Some dreams change while others never fade - most of us can remember what we said we wanted to be in kindergarten whether that was Cinderella or a Mommy either way we had a dream.

My dream was always to become a teacher. A few times I had some different ideas, but I have wanted my own classroom full of desks and students for many, many, many years. That has been the biggest dream of mine and without a doubt I am trying my hardest to make that dream come true.

Without a doubt I have had a few obstacles thrown at me. My world has been turned upside down a few times. I have been through heartache and change more than anyone can imagine. I have cried more tears and felt more pain than I ever thought possible. Yes, I know so many worse things could have happened to me, but the unexpected hurts.

Being diagnosed with diabetes was one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced. I went from eating whenever I want and whatever I want to carb counting and taking shots when I eat. I would have never thought that diabetes was such a pain until being diagnosed.

In a way diabetes has taken away from my freedom. Yes I praise my diabetes in having a huge part in the turn around of my life, but diabetes has seriously done some damage. When I look at my pump - I see diabetes clinging to my waist. My pump is on me 24 hours of the day and 7 days of the week and at this point the only time I feel like me is when I take it off to have a 10 minute shower.

Although I choose to have the pump - I didn't choose to have diabetes. Diabetes found me all on it`s own and decided that it was going to stick around for the long run. I don`t know why diabetes choose me, but even if it turned my world upside down I will fight as long as I can and as hard as I can to turn it right side up!


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