Think About It

I have written about bullying before in my blog post, but I believe that it is a topic that can be written about in an infinite amount of ways. However, my inspiration for this post doesn't come with a diabetes undertone to it, although I do acknowledge that bullying happens to type one diabetics often. Rather, the inspiration of this post is based off of something that my sister has posted on her Facebook wall today that really irked me and got my creative juices flowing straight to the empty white space where I can write it all down, so here it goes:

I feel as though I don't often talk about my family too much in my blog because I live on my own and spend the majority of my time with my roommates and friends, rather than family.  I do often call my mother almost once a day and talk to my sister, Abby on Facebook, but in connection to my diabetes there isn't that much that goes on therefore it often gets left out of my blog. Anyways, a quick description of my family, I have a mother, Donna and a father, Mike and an eighteen year old sister, Abby and I cannot fail to mention my dog, Max.

My sister Abby, is a lesbian which is something I have never formally written down before so it seems strange to write.  I would say that she told us about two years ago and since then I feel as though my family has been very supportive of her and I am so happy that she has that because I have heard the horror stories. However, having a supportive family does not always mean the world is going to be supportive as well.  

This is like anything, not everyone is going to appreciate the person that you are.  Like the internet trolls will tell you, you're either too fat or too skinny, too blonde or too brunette, too stupid or too nerdy.  We are all human yet we tend to find the things we don't like about each other before we pick out the best qualities of one another.  It's a strange world we live in and from personal experience, I have heard insult after insult, but at the end of the day I have to look in the mirror and tell myself, I am beautiful inside and out.

I guess before Abby told us that she was a lesbian, I had no opinion either way of homosexuality. I was not against it, just like I am not against heterosexuality.  I made no judgements on anyone in that sense knowing that if someone is happy then let them be happy.  After my sister told us, I became a little more sensitive into what others said and man people can be mean!  I guess I was being biased because before I knew about my sister I knew that kids were being bullied - yet I didn't truly feel their pain in my heart, now when I hear things like that it breaks my heart to think that my sister could be going through the same pain.

Abby has told me stories of people at her high school, and recently the status she just put up about a random man that biked past her on her way to work. It only makes me wonder what kind of world we are creating for one another. We are at such an advantage with the education we have, the technology. We all have such the potential to make a big difference in this world, yet there are still people out there that are bullying others for what reason?

I even experienced bullying on this very blog page. A blog that I started for my own diabetes therapy, that now I also use to inspire and help others.

I guess what I am getting at, is if you're reading this now and you really want to use all the good power inside of you then be an anti-bullying advocate today and forever. Don't let others say mean things, don't say mean things yourself, if you see something mean on Facebook speak up.  Positivity is contagious so be a leader and start changing the world today.

Kayla

Surviving

After watching the movie, then reading the book followed by watching the movie again (this time in 3D) I decided that my conclusion for Life Of Pi must be not only in my mind, but on a blog post.  It was by far one of those books that have left me really thinking much like Eat, Pray, Love did. It made me think about so many different things like, survival, religion and just life in general. It seemed that when I was able to crawl into bed and read the book I found myself feeling better about my own situation. Crawled under a few blankets, warm air coming through the vents, food in the cupboards just outside my door - little things like that that most of us take for granted.

This book to me was about many things beyond a kid stuck on a lifeboat with a tiger.  It was about so many things and I feel bad that my grade twelve teacher didn't make us read this book like most of my friends teachers apparently did.  But, being where I am in life now, with my experiences now I think I got much more out of this book than I would have when I was seventeen, rather than now at twenty two.

I won't go into great detail about my self discoveries after reading this book and watching the movie twice. But rather a strange thought that floated in my head just before I was about to fall asleep after reading my nights share of the book.  I am actually surprised that I hadn't had a dream about it considering most nights it was the last thing I thought about.  However, just before bed I would think about what I would do.

Strangely it didn't even cross my mind until a few nights in that - ugh... I am diabetic if I was stuck on a lifeboat I would be in trouble. Then all previous ideas vanished because how could I truly do anything if I was without insulin on a lifeboat.  I mean, I am sure I would survive for awhile, but ultimately I am not really sure.  Note to self: google to see if any diabetics survived ship wrecks and lasted as castaways.

It's one of those things though, getting stranded on an island, surviving a plane crash - freak accidents that we don't think about and if we do, we try not to imagine being without our life supports.  I remember a nurse, that is diabetic, was telling me that she is so scared of the elevator because she feels like something bad will happen to her when she is in the elevator - so she always brings stuff with her.

I guess, at times we think about being without supplies for things that we do a lot, like driving or taking an elevator, but we don't think about those crazy things that don't and won't really happen.  I guess it's for peace of mind.. but still... it's hard to imagine!

Kayla

Driving Diabetes

Driving with diabetes is something that can be more terrifying the more you think about it.  While the facts are that if you are prepared and keen about checking your blood sugars you should be able to keep peace of mind behind the wheel.  On occasion I have had to pull over to treat sudden lows.  Luckily, I was prepared on all occasions, but sometimes if I pulled into say a truck stop, I would take the opportunity to get something good to treat my low like an over priced chocolate bar.

The key to staying safe is being alert of your blood sugars.  Of course we all know that sometimes lows and highs happen, but if you can try to be alert in the sense of recognizing them or at least checking every now and then (depending on the length of your drive) that can eliminate the surprises along the way.   For me, I keep a bag of candy in my centre console. I keep it there (and thankfully forget about it when I am of normal blood sugar) because if I ever need something quick I know it is there.

I always make sure I bring my meter with me in the car. If it's not in my purse then it is in my backpack.  I haven't really thought about keeping one in the car, but I am curious if the weather (extreme cold and the extreme warm temperatures) would some how effect the meter. Either way, I am sure to bring the trio along. I also make sure that if I feel different for any reason I pull over and check. I have had to pull over on the highway, pull into truck stops and into store parking lots to see if what I was feeling was true.  Sometimes it's false alarms and I can continue to drive, while others I am so grateful that I stopped for.

Accidents happen regardless, but it's important to make sure that diabetes isn't the cause.  If you're not going to check at all during the day at least check before you're heading into a car where you can really do a lot of damage to yourself and others if something were to happen.

Kayla

Low Blood Sugar, High Anxiety

In the past month or so I have been experiencing severe lows and by experiencing I mean seeing the number on my meter. Other wise I had no idea that I was as low as the number flashing back at me.  Luckily something inside me told me to check, or something externally perhaps.  It seems in all cases of the severe lows I have had a strange anxiety overcome me. 

I would be doing whatever I was doing before checking, like walking to class and I would feel as if everyone was looking at me.  Not in just a passing by way, but as if something was on my face, or I forgot to put on pants! That look like something isn't right.  The first time I experienced that I kept rubbing my face thinking maybe I had something on it. I even brushed down my hair with the palms of my hands in case maybe my hair was sticking up.  It wasn't until I  had enough of people looking at me that I stopped, pulled out my meter and checked. 

After this incident I started thinking about it more. I wondered if maybe I was walking weird and that is why people were looking at me? Or maybe I was pale in the  face or looked confused.  But, then I started to think maybe it was just the low blood sugar playing with my mind.  Making me feel strange just as alcohol would do.  Often times we are told that lows can be a lot like being drunk and my mind was definitely at a strange state all of the times I was really low.

People experience all kinds of different symptoms when they're low however.  For some shaking and sweating is guaranteed while others feel just a strong sensation of hunger. It's really interesting to me to see how different lows feel.  I think I had really gotten used to certain symptoms and for them to change or not even appear as soon is a really interesting concept.  

Kayla 

You Are Not Your Number

I think it's a common problem among diabetics. Checking blood sugar can be a big hassle even though it can literarily be a five second process.  The facts of the matter are that checking blood sugar can feel time consuming and it can feel like a major interruption of what you're doing. Also, sometimes we can have a fear of checking in case we see a number flashing back at us that is not to our liking.  It is almost like we don't have an angel and devil resting on our shoulders, but rather, a socialite and a endocrinologist.

For me, I am not always on the ball with checking my blood sugars and sometimes it's the mere fact that before I know it the day is over. But, to be honest sometimes it is that fear that I don't want to see what number is flashing back at me.  I find that when I know I have ate healthy all day or I have paid close attention to carb counting that I am more likely to check my blood sugar from when I have been eating junk all day and loosely carb counting.

I don't think this is something just pertaining to type one diabetics, for instance I know that my Grandma with type two diabetes only checks on Wednesdays. She doesn't check other times because she feels like it will be a bad number.  Being type two, she isn't advised by her doctor to check as much as say a type one diabetic, so the numbers she does record she attempts to make look close to perfect.

For me, I have been working on getting over that feeling that I am the number that appears on the screen. It's almost like a weight scale. Those who feel like they have been eating bad and not working out tend to not step on a scale compared to those that are working out, eating healthy and have noticed their pants fit a little baggier.

If my blood sugar is high, technically I am high too, but that doesn't mean that I am a 'bad' diabetic.  Unless your endocrinologist appointment is coming up within the next few weeks then you are likely the only one to see those numbers at that time. When you know your number you are more likely to be in control knowing what to do next rather than guessing.

I keep my meter close by. I find if it is laying around by me, such as on my desk while I am working, than I am more likely to check.  If it is hidden in a backpack I am less likely to go searching. Also, even if you're not one to be keen on checking, try to set a goal number (hopefully at least four) and pretend it is like a game. Just get up to your goal number and slowly increase the number to hopefully get that extra control - but always remember that number that you see isn't a reflection of you!

Kayla

The Umbrella

There are so many misconceptions about type one diabetes that we are constantly feeling like we have to defend ourselves when something happens. Countless times movies have loosely defined type one diabetes in a way that has people living with the disease fuming. However, since we are all educated in our own disease we do our best to educate the general public about what type one is and all that goes along with it. But imagine having a disease that people do have a general idea about, yet you still don't fit the picture they have boiled up in their minds?

I am talking about type two diabetes. Although most people don't know that it is even called type two. The majority of the random public knows that there is a thing called diabetes and that it happens to the old and obese. We know that this isn't true about any kind of diabetes.  Yes, type two diabetes can be found in the older population and it has been linked to weight and if we were to jump on the stereotype boat this definition would work.  But, there are people living with type two diabetes that don't look the part that society has so kindly painted for them.

As type one diabetics we get this all the time too.  We all get put into the umbrella of diabetes. Can you imagine if one thought everyone with diabetes was pregnant - in the case of Gestational diabetes.  We would have people telling us, "Well you don't look pregnant?"  The facts are that diabetes comes in so many variations beyond the medical labels and to give out labels, which society tends to do is not a good way of looking at it.

The Vice President of the Western Diabetes Association lives with type two diabetes.  He is athletic, he is smart and he is young.  To be honest even myself was in shock when he told me that he lived with type two.  I guess it truly shows how badly society has framed the disease.  He did admit that as a teen he was overweight, but genetics played a large factor in his diagnosis, just with poor eating habits he sort of triggered it a lot sooner than anyone would have hoped.

At our last general meeting he gave a talk about type two diabetes, which I found interesting.  Of course I have heard all the facts before and after working for the CDA this past summer, everything about nutrition is finely grained into my brain.  However, his personal take on life with type two was an interesting story in itself.

This is what made me think of how many times he must get asked like myself. But, instead of my out where I say, "There is two types of diabetes, I have type one, it can happen to children, youth, young adults..." he has to explain type two including some of the stereotypes that society already has ingrained.

I don't doubt that there will always be misconceptions about diabetes and that forever there will be that umbrella; however, it makes me happy that as a diabetes community we are very alive and full of educators.  We won't conquer the world turning everyone into diabetic lovers - but we will make a difference.

Kayla

Sticking with It!

It's hard to believe that January is over! This whole year seems to be slipping away before us.  Unfortunately it is that time of the year for midterms at school so many of us aren't even realizing where the time is going since our heads are stuck in text books and notebooks.  Thankfully, although I have a midterm for every single class, they are spaced out nicely so, a. I can notice that time is going by and b. I have time to actually do some other things in the process. 

I have been sticking to the gym as much as possible and I know it can be easy for it all the wear off after January, but I am going to attempt to stay on track.  I have been doing the classes at the YMCA finding that they are better for keeping my attention and motivation. I tend to get bored easily when I am walking around the gym on my own.  So I have attempted classes such as Zumba, Weight Lifting, Yoga and Pilates to name a few. 

I have also seemed to stay on track with eating.  I am finding if anything the bad calories I am consuming are due to lows. Well, not necessarily bad calories but extra calories.  It can be such a teeter-totter experience when trying to be fit and manage diabetes. It comes down to being your own doctor and making adjustments to your pump.

As far as my mood as been in relation to all this change is good. At times I feel overwhelmed having to manage a lot on my plate, while others times I find comfort in knowing I am taking care of myself. I have a lot of goals in mind for this year and I am hoping to accomplish each and every one of them.

Kayla