I am not a PANCREAS!

Sure you can empathize with someone who has a pain in the butt brother, "ah, I can only imagine what it would be like to be nagged all the time"  or you can empathize with someone who has a sore throat, "ah, I hate when that happens!"  But really, can you really empathize with someone who has diabetes? cancer? a severe allergy? Probably not.

As much as people try to understand there are no two ways about it living with diabetes is a world of it's own.  I often think about 2 years ago when I didn't have it, I had no idea there were people around the world pricking their fingers and taking insulin, now here I am one of those unknown people sitting on my couch adjusting my pump for the crackers I just had and drinking diet 7up to avoid having to take anymore insulin for the night.  

Today I was completely frustrated with diabetes as the day went on.   Yesterday I was mad because my site wasn't going in and I kept bleeding which lead to me leaving my pump on the kitchen counter for a time out while I laid on my couch - grumpy.  Today I had to get my bum in motion and start booking appointments that I had missed.  One being a Endo. appointment and the the other being a diabetic education appointment.   Turns out these appointments are booked months in advanced and I have a job to do, get A.D.P signed off so that I can continue getting covered.   

Well, the D.E.C is trying hard and has scheduled me in on Friday for an appointment; however, the Endo. is gone and who knows when I would ever see him again.   However, there is a new endocrinologist  in town and I may be lucky enough to get her as long as my family doctor sends a referral (Fingers Crossed). If that is the case and my A1C is decent I shouldn't have a problem keeping my pump, but if this doesn't work out, my pump may be taking a longer time out than expected.  

Along with this I am trying to prepare for school, finishing off work, organizing my other appointments... all of this at once.   Which brings me back to empathy and diabetes.   I honestly cannot spend all my time and effort on diabetes and I think for doctors and nurses this is either hard to believe or not acceptable.  I know that I don't have perfect blood sugars and I know that my A1C probably will be higher (Duh, it's summertime!)   I realize that the doctors and nurses do not have diabetes and I understand that diabetes is easy to explain in simple terms, yet it is isn't easy to live.   

I just hope that people can understand that although this disease is 24/7 - finding the time and balance can be difficult.   Jeez, I am not a PANCREAS!

Kayla