Friday, September 9, 2011
Diabetic's Dating Ad
All diabetic girls must feel a sense of uncertainty when browsing for a man, it's not like we can just date a guy who hates needles and faints every time he sees blood. It's not like we can date a sugar-a-holic who refuses to buy anything but sugar. We need to be a little picky when it comes to trusting someone to test our sugar, put up with our highs and lows and most of all dig diabetic girls... right?
So, I began to think what exactly a diabetic girl's dating ad would look like, right beside the classified section in the local newspaper beside the pictures of a for sale used couches and a dog that is looking for a new home. Of course we would include a photo with our ad and not just our photo from the last party we attended or the family BBQ last summer, oh no, this picture would be us skydiving or climbing the Rocky Mountains, even better it would be us holding up our pump or our metre with a perfect 5.5 reading.
So if this catches the eye of someone special, they will begin to look more into it. Start reading the quick description, single, female, diabetic... the three most important things. Then maybe you would include your a1c, 7.1 and a couple quick stats about your diabetes. After he gets the idea of what he is in for, a good diabetic or a bad one, that is when he will either turn the page or keep on reading. That's when you will get into what you're looking for someone who doesn't mind needles, someone who doesn't mind mood swings, someone who doesn't mind being ignored, someone who doesn't mind being yelled at, someone who doesn't mind you laughing out of control for a solid hour, someone who doesn't mind you binge eating at 4 a.m, someone who doesn't mind you being indecisive in the grocery store as your blood sugar plummets and you can't decide between a KitKat or a Aero Bar, someone who can help you check your blood sugar when you come home from the bar... and the list continues, someone who wants to meet other diabetics (because let's be serious half your Facebook friends are lacking a working pancreas) someone who doesn't mind sitting through doctor's appointments and most importantly, and this would be in bold; "SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T ASK CAN YOU EAT THIS?!"
Sincerely, the single diabetic: you would sign off and hope that someone out there who is looking for a 'sweet' girl fulfils your request.
*newspaper is not real - computer generated by me.