Yesterday I had my Endocrinologist appointment. I must admit I was a bit nervous going to the clinic but not for the completely obvious reasons. I already knew my A1C because my family doctor's office had called me two days prior and I knew what my blood sugars were, obviously because I check them... they were a bit elevated due to the hives, so I knew that would be easy for my Endo. to understand.
I was stressed out about two things that seems so irrelevant now that the day has past.. This has made me realize that I stress out about irrelevant things. I guess I probably could have realized this prior to yesterday, but truly yesterday pointed out to me, that oh my god, I stress about irrelevant things, that do not matter or usually do not make a difference.
I was nervous that the receptionist was going to tell me once again to get my health card updated. I rock the old white/red one that are non-existent now, but still valid if you have yours. Now they want you to have the new shiny one with the photo, that you have to update every so often because it is a picture I.D. However, I always get mixed views on whether I should update my card to a new one or keep rocking the old one, as it is one less thing to update. As I explain this, I am thinking to myself, how irrelevant I am even WRITING this, let alone stressing about it.
I was stressed out that the receptionist was going to tell me again, that I needed to get a new one and give me a lecture about why and then hand me the papers that tell me where to get it done. You see, she tells me this every year and every year I nod and accept the papers and throw them out on my way back to my car because when I go to other receptionist they tell me to 'hold on to that red & white card!' And if holding on to it means one less thing to update/do, I am going to hold on to it. So, here I am stressing about the stupidest thing, and I arrive and it's a different receptionist, who does not even ASK for my health card. She just says, "Same red & white health card?" and I reply with, "Yes.." and she says, "go have a seat."
Sometimes I think God or whoever we believe to determine our fate, puts these little antidotes in our life to remind us that we need to chill out. That was mine.
The second thing was my weight. Okay, this concern is like, everyones concern. But here was mine... my last Endo appointment was almost a year ago. Therefore, that was during the time I was training hard for Kilimanjaro. So, I was really in great shape and had just lost a lot of weight. Going into this appointment, overall I have not gained a ton of weight, but due to my hives/swelling I have put on some weight due to tension/bloating. I know this because I have not changed my diet drastically and the weight put on has been in a short period of time and can fluctuate a lot due to how many hives/swelling parts I have going on...
So, I was nervous that once I was weighed, they would say, OH MY GOD! What's wrong with you? How do you just gain that much weight? I was even contemplating not going on the scale and telling them that I rather not be weighed. But once I got my blood pressure taken, before I knew it I was standing on a scale being weighed. I was what I imagined it would be, and the only comment she said was, "you don't look your weight." I wanted to make a joke about going on the scales at the fair where they guess your weight, but I resisted.
It wasn't THAT bad after all. No one was too concerned about my health card nor my weight and really my appointment was about my diabetes, which there was no concerns there as well. I truly realized that I need to 'chill'. Vince is always telling me to relax, as I get uptight about the smallest things, and he is right. I really need to stop worrying about the strangest things...