It's hard to believe that this is my last week of post secondary. It has been a loonngg five years and I am ready to finish. After this week I will have five exams to study and write and after that, well, I am free. However, as lovely as it sounds to be free, clearly I am freaking out. I have no assignments left to do nor essays to write. You'd think I would be dancing around chanting; however, with these hives and swelling, I am far from chanting or dancing, I am annoyed.
Today I go and see my endocrinologist. I know they usually upload my insulin pump, but to make it easier I wrote down my blood sugars from the past five weeks using my meter to look back on. I didn't make up any numbers as much as I was tempted when I realized some days I hardly check my blood sugar. I am going in honest. However, I noticed that I have been having high blood sugars, a lot. I mean, of course I notice when I get them in the moment, however, after writing them down I have A LOT of high numbers and higher numbers in the morning that I ever had before. I am blaming the hives.
But, I am also blaming stress. I know I should say, oh but I am the one responsible for my health, but no. Whoever says that is wrong because diabetes isn't about you always. It isn't always about the choices that you make, it is about what diabetes wants to do. So when I wake up high after not eating 10 hours + previous, that is not because of my control over my health. That's diabetes witchery.
Tomorrow, I have booked myself at a Naturopath in London. I am hoping that she may be able to give me some ideas as to how to get rid of the hives, manage stress etc. I am seriously considering every option out there at this point because it's been over a month and sleeping with what feels like 1000 mosquito bites needs to end.
On my own time I am attempting to eliminate stress. I have asked my professor for my mark on my final essay early, which she agreed to do. I have began reading the happiness project again, I have cleaned and purged my diabetes drawers and another box of random things, I have written a list of things that need to get done, allowing myself to check each thing off when I finish and I have a few other projects in mind to keep me focused.
Once these hives go away then I will dance and chant, but for now, I will wait and attempt to be patient and work on my personal happiness in hopes that that is all the magic I need to turn my health back around.