Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hesitations


It's hard to believe how quickly June is approaching. June is a big month for me and to think by the end of that month I should be pumping! It is kind of a mixed bag of emotions regarding the pump because there are many reasons why I want to get the pump, but there are also reasons why I am hesitant.

Even though there are some doubts I have I know that I am ready to get the pump. I am fully aware that the change will be drastic and strange, but I am looking forward to the experience. The process to get a pump is very intense and there seems to be many rules in order to qualify and receive the pump. It will be nice once I have my very own pump.

Some of my reasons why I am looking forward to the pump is that I am looking for an easier and more advanced method in taking care of myself. I know that the pen injections are not always perfect and there is no way that I can be my pancreas right now, but it seems like having a pump is a great way to better mimic my pancreas.

Another reason is that I want to be able to say I at least tried it out. What kind of diabetic would I be to turn down new technology. Not only am I doing this for myself, but this process will help so many other people. Being able to document the whole experience may help other curious diabetics.

A reason for my hesitation is that I am going to have a pump attached to me 24/7. I know that I can always go back to needles which is a safe haven as of now, but knowing that a pump is round the clock deal much like diabetes is a little scary.

When I am not checking my sugar or giving myself insulin injections the only thing that tells me I am diabetic is my medical alert bracelet. Take off my bracelet and who would ever know that I was diabetic - no one. With a pump I will always be aware of my diabetes and so may other people - if they know what it is.

I am always going to have diabetes until there is a cure. I am going to live it up no matter what life throws at me because you just never know what can happen next. The pump will be an awesome experience and will make for good conversations; I know that for sure.

Kayla

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