316

This note will be my 316th and that number seems huge to me - I never thought that these notes would continue this long when I first sat down to let everyone know I had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. After awhile I realized that these notes were more than my therapy - they were a lot of others therapy. Not only other diabetics, but people of all different types living different lives with different opinions and struggles.

316 notes doesn't exactly describe the play by play of my diabetes, but it comes pretty close. I have had diabetes for about 635 days and in that short time I have managed to capture what it's like to live with diabetes and even better how diabetes has changed my life.

I have met the most amazing people through my blogs - people from Australia, people from the United States, Europe and Canada and they all have been open enough to share their stories with me and how they can relate to what I have wrote whether it was from my early stages of diabetes or something recent I have just experienced.

I love hearing from my readers and sometimes I am surprised to know who reads my blogs. I remember when I was getting interviewed by Brant News the reporter asked me if I knew how many people read my blog and I had no idea because truth is I get messages from people who I'd never expect to have read my blog, yet do.

I'd love to hear comments - if my blog has helped you or inspired you. It's so nice to hear positive feedback and to know that my story is being heard and passed along. It's the great thing about writing.

Kayla

Assumptions

We all can assume things that we can achieve. We assume we can get certain grades on tests, we assume we can walk a 5k distance, we assume things that we no without a doubt we can achieve. But what happens when we go beyond our assumptions. We push ourselves beyond all that we thought achievable.

My life from diabetes on has been all about pushing myself to the unknown. Yes, I've signed myself up for some pretty crazy things like mud runs, amazing races and half triathlons. Those things I didn't think were ever going to make my life story, but some how they did. We assume practical things that pretty much everyone goes through - we assume we will graduate, we assume we will land a pretty decent job and we assume we will create a nice little family.

Assuming isn't a bad thing because it keeps us grounded and feeling like we have a sense of control over our lives, but throwing in the odd curve ball is always a great way to live. My biggest achievements so far have come from things I didn't plan on doing. Like running for a complete hour on the treadmill on Monday. I would have never assumed that I could have ran that long without stopping - basically because I have never, ever, ever done that. But I pushed myself, and didn't let myself give up - didn't let myself assume that after 30 minutes I was done - I just kept going.

Now this makes me think - maybe assumptions hold us back in a way. Who knew I had it in me to run 8 km in one hour considering I've never ran that far before. Maybe I had it in me all along, but never thought I could do it. Like the half triathlon - even the day before the event I was thinking, "oh my, can I even do this?" but surprise, surprise I finished and I wasn't even last!

So maybe some choices I make scare me - for instance applying to Australia. But I can't let a silly assumption stop me from making bold, crazy choices. Who knows what I can do - I can only surprise myself.

Kayla

Learn to Relax

If there is one thing that I am good at it would be stressing. You know the saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff" - well I don't tend to live by that. For some reason I let the smallest of things take away all my concentration which in turn leaves me feeling the stress of the world on my shoulders.

When I stress it's not just my mind stressing, but it is also my body. I feel the repercussions of my stress reflected through my blood sugar and my over all health. I realize that these symptoms may not be apparent for those who aren't constantly monitoring their blood sugar - but it's proof that stress effects absolutely everything.

Right now I am trying very hard to take time for myself and focus on what I am doing now. I worry so much about the future that I miss out on things that are happening now. Now with my Y membership I am allowing myself to de-stress from what school brings. I started a yoga class today and it was very peaceful and very different from my usual workout.

Life is too short to be panicked and stressed all the time, I just need to learn to relax!

Kayla

Second Family

Leave it to me to move 100 kilometres from home and find a second family. For most people that second family comes from friends they met in their classes, while my second family involves three little boys and two awesome parents.

I am so incredibly lucky to know that whether I am in Brantford or London I have a place to call home. Yes of course I have my townhouse located in the 'ghetto' of London (Okay, so it's not THAT bad) but I have a home here that I know I can go to at any time and feel as if I never left Brantford.

The Maheu Family has been my home away from home. After having Shannon has a prof, our similar interests in Keith Urban automatically made us friends and since then I couldn't be more happier that I took Human Relations!

Moving away from home is a big deal and especially moving away with diabetes - last year I had only had diabetes for 6 months before having to figure it out all on my own. I was in a new environment and it was up to me how I was going to manage my diabetes - my life.

Knowing that I have the support from the Maheu's in London has made it a lot easier and refreshing for me. I know that if I ever need anything that they are only 10 minutes away. They have been more than wonderful to me and I will always be thankful for their help and kindness.

Let's hope there is an Australian version of the Maheu's for next school year!

Kayla

The Story

You could read through my notes from the very first post in March 2009 up until the last post in September 2010. You might find a change in me from then until now, find lessons I learned, experiences I shared. I enjoy looking back at these notes because unlike a lot of other people I have created an archive of me. I can go back to this very day last year and know just how I was feeling. Last year I wrote about how much Clinton meant to me in 'Here's to You' and thankfully to this day I can still safely say that that note remains true.

I know that I have created a written story of my life that will hopefully live on forever. My challenges, triumphs and battles will always be a tale to tell, proof that diabetics or anyone with an illness or disease is in no way limited. If anything it gives me that extra push to try new things, go beyond and live life to the fullest because I know that I am in control of my story and the more things I can experience and do the better the story becomes.

I am only twenty and don't intend on sitting around for the rest of my life. I cannot afford to waste time, i've got a lot of things to do and a lot of places to see.

Kayla

Determined

Lately I have been determined to be the best that I can be. I am sure that is written on a poster somewhere in a classroom - but honestly, determination is a trait that takes hard work to maintain. I have had so many phases in my life when I said I was determined to lose weight, determined to get a good mark, determined to not fall for stupid boys, yet time and time again I broke my promises and threw determination out the window.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes there was nothing I could do to change that. I could have ignored the whole diagnosis, but I can safely say I wouldn't be here writing this blog. At that moment I became pretty determined that whatever the challenge I was determined to beat it or at least stay strong throughout. I like to think that this determination as lasted.

There were a few slips along the way. I did have moments where I wanted to stop needles, stop pricking, just stop diabetes. There were time when eating healthy was like a last resort that I was not willing to visit at all. I went through the phase of, well I'm not huge, so one more handful why not? I realize that I did this pre diabetes - but honestly who doesn't say that when they want to eat something incredibly unhealthy.

Determination in some aspects of my life slipped, but apart of me was ready to pick it up again and prove that not only am I doing this to prove that diabetes doesn't have a hold on me - but to prove that I can do whatever I set my mind too. I am determined to go far with my education, to become the best primary teacher you've ever seen and also I am determined to be healthy and take every opportunity like it's a Christmas gift wrapped just for me.

I am not turning down chances or experiences - I am going to step outside of my comfort zone and I am going to think outside the box. If we only get one shot at this then I am determined to make the most of it.

Kayla

My Health

It always crosses my mind whether or not people perceive me as healthy. The facts are that when people say diabetes most people have a different idea in their head. I can only assume that if I asked random people what kind of people get 'diabetes' they would say, old people and unhealthy people.

The stigma around diabetes is extremely harsh for those living with type 1. Not only are the majority of us young, but we are healthy in some cases extremely healthy. I realized just how bad the stigma was when I set up my booth outside of Fanshawe. I was extremely shocked at some of the reaction to the booth (even though it said Juvenile Diabetes) I am sure the word diabetes stuck out which then lead to the belief "oh well it's there fault they got it - why would I give them money!"

As type 1 diabetics we find ourselves laughing at the misinformation that is given by people of some-what authority. People we watch on t.v like Dr. Oz. How can these people who know so much about 'medicine' not have a slight clue on how to get across that type 1 diabetics are nothing like type 2 diabetics.

Okay, so this sounds like a war of the diabetics - but it truly isn't. I just know that as a diabetic I can easily be judged as being an unhealthy girl who ate too much candy. It's hard to educate people about diabetes because how many times do you hear about the epidemic of diabetes due to fast food, lack of exercise, processed foods.

I guess the best thing to do like many other type 1's I know - is to prove to those people who have already judged me - that I am healthy and that nothing is too big of a challenge for a type 1.