Branch of Support

It's a weird feeling being in a room with a bunch of people alike. A crowd of people that knows what you're going through, how you feel and where you are coming from. I have had a couple experiences where this has been the case. A group of diabetics all together, a feeling as if we all know each other some way or another.

At the George Canyon presentation it was neat to see all the people, mostly children that are always dealing with diabetes. Some so young, that I could barely grasp how much information that they know at such a young age. I often wonder if I was diagnosed much earlier, what it would have been like. My parents would know much more about the disease and would have had to help me much, much more. Not that they don't help me now, but at least at my age dealing with diabetes I can do partially on my own.

I am so appreciative of those who are young with diabetes. I am amazed by every single child that is living with this disease. Candy is a child's best friend and when you're young that's what the world revolves around. I recall going to the candy store with friends at lunch and loading up on candy, or at birthday parties getting a huge loot bag full of candy and chocolates.

Children with diabetes are unbelievable, and every time I meet one, or see one I feel like giving them a giant hug. Here I am, nineteen, diagnosed at age eighteen and feeling pressure and fear when dealing with my diabetes, how do they ever manage at their age.

Any diabetic out there that was diagnosed at a young age, and now are a teenager, adult or senior, you're also amazing. You have went through so many different stages of your life and here you are to talk about them all. You have battled so much, so much more than I will ever know as a diabetic now. Your strength is admirable.

For those who have just been diagnosed like me, I know that there is hope and support. After awhile we will be much like the rest but right now we seem alone and scared. I believe that after a year of this disease the days won't seem as hectic and the rules won't seem so rigid. I think that for newly diagnosed diabetics there is an enormous amount of support out there and I would happily want to be considered as another branch of support.

Kayla

Pumpin'

In a small room, type ones and their family sat in their chairs waiting for George Canyon to arrive. Animas, a company that makes insulin pumps gave helpful information to families interested. There were tons of snacks lined up, crackers, cheese, fruit and vegetables as well as drinks of all kinds. The majority of the room was children, I'd say under the age of twelve but there were definitely a handful of older type ones.

My mom and I sat in the front, I pretty much insisted. Of course with that George many a number of remarks about me, one asking what I wanted to be when I was older and another about the fact I didn't raise my hand when he asked where the teenage type ones are. Oops, I didn't realize I was still a teenager! It was fun though, George really is very kind and you wouldn't even know is success from music just talking to him, it must be because he has type one diabetes! (haha)

This was the second time I met George, first at the Hamilton Warplane museum and second in Brantford. It was an amazing experience and previous to this event, a pump wasn't in my mind but now I am definitely thinking about getting an insulin pump.

What really convinced me was when George said, "I think this can add years to my life." For some reason that really struck me. The pump although not perfect is much better than the method I use now, (four needles a day, 3 of bolus, 1 of basal) so it's possible that with better care and more accurate judgements that I could be living a much healthier life.

I wouldn't be surprised that by the summer I am writing about my brand new pump. I am thinking about a pink one. I think, for me, it would be a step in the right direction as far as giving me the healthy and long life I want and that everyone wants.

I told Clinton last night, likely the only thing that is holding me back is the way that it looks. Carrying around a GPS like object all the time, with a tube coming off you, as if you were a robot. People will notice it, some people won't but it was the idea that it wouldn't be 'normal.' However, if I needed to wear a brace, needed to have a cane or wheelchair, I would but because with diabetes I have two ways of getting insulin, needle or pump. I am choosing needles. So to convince myself, I must forget about those needles and think as if the pump was the best and only option for me.

Kayla

Love & Support

It's November and I've already been thinking about next years Walk to Cure Diabetes. I had so much fun doing it last year that I can't wait to do it this year. I want to go much bigger, and really make it a huge success. Hopefully I am able to work with Fanshawe to help Team KK double the amount of money we made from last year. Can we raise $5128? We can defiantly try.

I hope that I can get as many or more people than last year. I am sure that I can. I really will never forget that day. It is truly hard to explain how amazing I felt and how well my team came together. It's just an all around good time with friends and family.

I know that of course not everyone may get to experience this particular type of love but I am sure that you've given this love to someone else. Whether you're walking, raising money, or just giving support, you really are doing more than you think. No matter what a person is battling, it's important that we are there for them and support them. I am lucky that since day one, I have had this love and support.

Kayla

Passing By

It is crazy to think of the number of people that flash before us daily, monthly, yearly. Of course we always see the same people, the people we know and have known for awhile but think about those people that pass by us, hold the door for us, even the people that you happened to be waiting in line in front of.

These people each have their very own unique story in some how become part of your own unique story. They become a part of your memories perhaps, you may forget them but you may have learned something from them. If you liked their hair colour, maybe you tried it, if you overheard their joke maybe you told it. I think everyone we meet makes an impact on our life, whether tiny or huge.

There are many people in my life that have made an impact on me. Some impacts are minuscule while others are enormous. Some people in my life have left, but leave a scar. It doesn't matter what you think of a person, how much you know about a person, they will always be a part of who you are today.

On March 13th I was past by a lot of people, I saw a lot of faces and overheard a lot of conversations. Pretty typical, anywhere we go this happens. I happened to be in three specific places that day. First I was at home. I was sitting on the couch, the love seat, on the right side. The phone rang, it was the nurse, I needed to go to the doctor's office.

I can recall yelling to my mom. I don't think I saw her just before I got into my car and left. I remember walking into the office, telling the secretary that I had received I call. I was put in the waiting room, for hours. Back and forth, back and forth, from room to room. The room was a baby room, there was a scale to weigh a baby, pictures of children on the walls, a chart I remember reading about what your baby should be doing according to age. I met a doctor that day, I don't remember his name.

A nurse there, whom I've met many, many times often peeked in and out on me. I was in tears, but no one ever offered a hand or help. The doctor acted as if I wasn't in too much of a serious situation. Those others in the waiting room I assume went home after their appointments. I went home too . . . to pack.

I only remember one specific person in the waiting room in Emerg. at the Brantford General Hospital. I assumed she was a drug addict, she looked burnt out, aged and gone. She was sitting behind me with wrapped arms, spaced out and shaking. I don't know what ever happened to her.

I can recall going into a smaller room, a lady checked my blood pressure and then I was sent into a bed in the actual emergency room. I remember a black Christmas like ball in front of my area, I can't exactly remember but I think it was number 6.

A nurse was there, her name is Katie. She walked into the area I was in and told me that she didn't mean to step on any toes but if I was interested I could look at a website. This moment happened to be a changing moment in my life. The website was Connected in Motion. If you have followed my notes, you know very well, that Chloe Steepe is the founder of this. Chloe Steepe is someone I look up too. I owe so much to Katie, and I never had the chance to tell her just how much she had changed my life from that point on. I had no idea that the simple task she did was going to change me. I finally after 8 months got to thank Katie last night.

After my parent's left the hospital, Clinton sat with me until I was transferred, his attempt on leaving failed, as I balled my eyes out saying, "Don't leave me here." We still joke about the people that we heard around us that night. The lady who constantly said, "hello, hello, hello!" to herself and a man who was telling his sick mother about all the spicy food Popeyes has. These people will always be a part of me, those their impact small. They are a memory Clinton and I share.

Once I was in my room, I remember the old lady that I shared the room with Marie. She was a sweet lady who kicked out my guests a few times or so. When I was first in my bed and didn't know who was beside me, I instantly thought back to the drug addict. I was scared she was beside me the entire night.

There were so many people that have made an impact on my life. The point I was trying to make is that, we pass by so many people each and every day. We don't always think about how much they are making an impact. We don't really think about what their story may be. We honestly don't have the time or the energy to hear them all, to think about them all, but we can try.

I want to just take a second to thank Katie. A job is a job, but when you go beyond in order to help, it's beyond amazing. Such a simple gesture has changed me so much. Thank you Katie.

Kayla

Fingertips

Last night as I got ready to give myself insulin, prick my finger and jump into bed, I paused. Before pressing the trigger to allow the sharp needle prick my finger I stopped. I really thought about what I had to do. Why I did it and how I felt about it?

It seems like everyday I do the same routine. I pull out my meter, a strip, I press the button and allow the needle to hit my finger tip and bleed. When it doesn't bleed enough, but I try it anyway, it tells me there is an error, I have to pick another finger and poke. Sometimes I have to milk my finger, massage it just to get enough blood. This is when my fingers go numb, they sting. I often get asked, "does it hurt?" I always say no.

My fingers are tough, marked with red dots. They are young but strong. Without testing there would be way to much guessing and I would eventually fall apart. My fingers are vital, they tell me truths and give me answers. My blood drips from these fingertips more than five times a day, by March 2010, at least 1825 times.

My fingers are more than pointers and ring holders, they are my life.

Kayla

Factors

I don't know what it is, but my blood sugars have been normal for the past week. Knock on wood. I have been amazed with myself, not going over 10 for over a week now. What could it be?

There are a few different reasons that I can think of. First of all I have been trying to eat a little better even though it's really hard right now to have good proportions in college. Another reason this may be happening is because I increased my Lantus, long lasting insulin. I have nearly doubled units since being diagnosed but I think that was expected. Another reason could be the ginseng! I have read studies that ginseng reduces blood sugars, but supposedly they have only done studies for type 2's. I wasn't even aware I consuming ginseng until Clinton pointed out "More Ginseng & Caffeine" on my Diet Pepsi bottle. I have been drinking it a lot and for some reason since then my sugars have been pretty good. I had my lowest bed time blood sugar, 5.0, I have ever had last night. But of course this could just be something I factored in that has nothing to do with my diabetes, but who knows?

I am just happy that my blood sugars are in check, especially as the term is winding down and my schedule is becoming increasingly busy. The most important thing for me is to reduce my stress as much as possible because I know for a fact that causes my sugars to go crazy.

As long as I have the great support that I have had all along I can maintain my healthy lifestyle. Anyone can!

Kayla

One Less

This morning, I didn't feel hungry. It can be hard sometimes, when you're not hungry but diabetes insists you eat. This morning it worked in my favour, my sugar was a bit higher than average, 9, so I managed to pull off eating 24g of carbs yogurt until lunch. This meant one less needle for the day. Of course this rarely happens, and most mornings I rush to the kitchen to get breakfast, but there has been times on occasion where I get to skip the insulin.

It's funny to think that I used to be able to eat without taking any needles at all. It's strange that, that was only 8 months ago. Now, I feel weird if I don't have to take a needle. I often find myself envying those who can eat whenever they want and eat whatever they want.

I am surrounded by people who just dig in, as I get out my equipment. If only it was easier, if only diabetes would allow a couple days off even just one less needle.

Kayla