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Currently I am reading, Eckhart Tolle's book called, A New Awakening to Your Life's Purpose.  The reason I picked this book up in the first place was because I read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and after that, like I am sure many, many other people I was instantly on a happiness kick and if you're going to be on any kind of kick at all, I'd say that is a good one to be on.

So, like I mentioned in my happiness blog, there were a few things that I wanted to do to make myself feel extra happy - extra because I do consider myself a happy person the majority of the time, and those times I am not happy, I blame that on a little thing called diabetes.  So, I have been trying hard to keep up my goals and sadly the hardest one, as noted by Gretchen is to not gossip and not even just gossiping, but saying things about others.  I tried to stop my train of thought when I pass by someone on the street etc. and make a quick judgement - now try and not do that... I feel like I would make a quick judgment..."ah that HAT looks crazy!....well I guess it's not that bad...everyone has different style"  this internal argument in my head to try not to critique everyone.

Anyways, now that I have turned to Tolle's book I am learning a new way of being... I wouldn't call it a happiness book more so a book about ....well I am still figuring it all out.  You see, this book is not made for something to read while waiting in line at the bank or that summer book you can tote around in your beach bag, I find this book a "everyone be quiet, lock myself in my room, stop and ponder, take some notes...type of book"   However, I am finding hidden gems in his writing that really do make me think about happiness and how we go about life.  So thumbs up Tolle for confusing me, yet making me feel good.

So, I am about half way through the book and I have been typing in my iPhone a few concepts that made me think and of course instantly relate to diabetes.  So to dive into the first one it is all about the roles we play in society.  Now, I probably could write a whole paper on this, but I will save that for when I need some good marks, but in particular I am thinking about what makes people so dissatisfied with their endocrinologist? Of course, not everyone is dissatisfied with their endocrinologist, in fact mine right now is great - but saying that, I have switched endocrinologists.

What made me think of this was when Tolle talks about how we look at one another in the roles we are in....(trust me, he didn't say it as complicated as I just did...) Basically, when we go to our doctor's appointments, we see them as endocrinologists or nurses, we don't see them as Betty Jane who has two children, enjoys traveling and collecting coins.  We go in there knowing that they are going to tell us what to do with our blood sugars, what we can improve on, and then send us on our way.   So, we treat them like doctors, we don't think of them behind their job.  Just like when you were little and saw a teacher at the mall and totally freaked out.

So, the same works for the doctor, if they haven't taken the time to know you for who you are and not just their patient that comes in every three months saying that they forgot to do their blood work, and didn't log for the past three weeks.... then that is how you will be treated, just like a patient.   So, when I thought about this in relation to people with diabetes and their doctors, I began to think...is it true that if a doctor or nurse takes the time to get to know you, asks you a few questions about your final exams, writes down a couple notes about your personal life, just for the sake of knowing you - does that make a good relationship between the two of you?

My nurses and endocrinologist knows all about me. I think we may even talk more about my personal endeavours; rather than my blood sugars.  Either way, I like them for that.  They treat me like Kayla Brown, not that diabetic that writes a blog.   When I met my new endocrinologist she asked me about my schooling, what I was taking, what I wanted to do etc. and instantly I liked her.   Now, of course this doesn't change the fact that you see them as the people that set you straight, and I don't think many endocrinologists will be willing to divulge into their personal lives with you - but maybe if they could take the hint to spend a few questions on you and by you I don't mean your blood sugars... just maybe that would be the key to enjoying those visits. I'm assuming there is a saying in the doctor's office like, a happy diabetic makes a happy endocrinologist because I can't imagine dealing with an angry diabetic is pleasurable...


Kayla


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http://www.change.org/petitions/mattel-create-a-diabetic-barbie?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=share_button_modal

Top Ten

Today I met with Alexa, a 12 year old diabetic, who I have mentioned before.  I met with her and her father to talk about the insulin pump and of course topics surrounding diabetes came up.  Of course, my life with diabetes is similar to hers, yet in a completely different world, while she is bolusing for dunker-roos and having to manage diabetes in gym class, I am bolusing for a bowl of chips and managing diabetes for a night on the town.   As I shared my experience with diabetes with her and more particularly with an insulin pump, I started to think of the top ten things that I have learned about diabetes in the past three years.   So, here the list goes - and yes I was also inspired by David Letterman's top 10 lists.

1.  Expect the unexpected.  You may think you are fine with the site you're wearing, so why pack an extra - but no, if you don't prepare for the unexpected then everything will go wrong.   

2.  A number doesn't describe you.  If you have a high number , you're not a bad diabetic...and if you're low, you're not doing a good job.    Diabetes isn't stable, your numbers will go all over the place, but that doesn't make you who you are.

3.  Leave your meter, strips and poker out in the open.  If it is in your bag you're not going to go looking for it to get it out and check.  It's already annoying to have to test in the first place, so don't force yourself to play a game of hide and go prick.

4.  Get involved.  Not everyone is open about their diabetes - but trust me, helping one diabetic a day will make you feel good.  Join a group on Facebook for type 1 diabetics and give a tip or even just words of encouragement to someone who is in need.  It will make you feel like a professional diabetic as well as feel like you did a good deed.

5.  If your site rips out - keep calm and give yourself a break.   Don't fret when your site rips out even though it is a pain!  Give yourself some time pump free for a few minutes, then get ready to assemble the supplies.  Maybe your insulin pump really just wanted a break and that's why it took the plunge. 

6.  Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do just because you have diabetes.  You know your own limits and know your diabetes, so when someone tells you you shouldn't or you can't  - PROVE THEM WRONG!

7. Eat what you love, just remember to bolus!   As we know people think that diabetics have to limit what they eat, but thankfully that train of thought is so pre 1922'    So, enjoy life, eat that piece of cake, just remember that one extra step before you indulge.

8.  Stock up your supplies - there is nothing like realizing you have one site left and a few units of insulin in a vial.  Having a decent supply of diabetes supplies gives you peace of mind!

9.  Have fun with your diabetes - think about pink sites, purple pumps, zebra skins and fun ways to keep your diabetes stylish, after all this isn't your grandparents diabetes.

10.  Give yourself credit for what you do every single day.  Reward yourself, smile at your achievements and kick diabetes butt! 

I'd love to hear everyone top 10! So what have you learned over the years of your diagnosis?

Kayla 

Absolutely Thankful

Photo I captured at the Toronto Zoo! 

It seems like summer takes forever to get here, but rushes by quickly as soon as it does arrive.  This summer unlike the past three summers I have decided to stay in London, hoping that this would be the summer of opportunities. I have turned my life into something unique and this summer I realized, what a great opportunity to see what I can truly do.

Thankfully, I have many people in the London community that are great to me.  Second families all over the place that make me feel at home. I have met great families and individuals that are always cheering me on and helping me out. The feeling of having support from people is great. I credit them for giving me the strength and big smile to carry on and strive for the best.

So, for the summer, I hope to report a lot of exciting news and shares amazing photos of what I have been striving for.  Diabetes has changed my life for the best, as crazy as it seems. I will check my blood sugar four + times a day and give myself a needle every three days as long as I can keep this life that I have been given - amazing, amazing, amazing opportunities that I am absolutely thankful for.


Kayla

Heros

Me at the Toronto Zoo today!

I feel bad for not doing the last topic of the challenge, but since it is the long weekend - time went by quickly and before I knew it, I was lying in bed thinking, it's now Monday and I forgot to do the last topic.   So, to be fair, I will do this last topic even though the challenge is over with!  The last topic is my diabetes hero.

I think that is a tough question because as much as I want to have a diabetes hero, I don't really have a particular diabetic hero; however, I have A LOT of diabetics that I admire and look up too. So this post isn't about one particular person, but a bunch that have taught me a lot about diabetes and living life with diabetes in the past three years.

I think from time to time, had I not been diagnosed with diabetes, I would have never known some of these amazing people that have come into my life.  Truly amazing people.    Not only are these women and men living life with diabetes 24/7 - but they have accomplished many wonderful things that give inspiration to everyone living with diabetes and even those living without diabetes.  Everyone living with diabetes and maintaining a healthy, happy life is a hero of mine.  I am inspired by those diabetics who become inspirations in the community, as well as in their own homes.


Kayla

Snap-Shots

With the Diabetes Blog Week challenge ending tomorrow, the second last topic is all about showcasing diabetes with pictures - something that I have been doing since I was diagnosed.   Being an amateur photographer and scrapbooker (although I haven't done it in awhile...) this challenge is exciting.  Throughout my blog, I always use a photo that I took - rather than finding ones on the internet.  I think showcasing diabetes with photography is excellent because it really gives the public an idea of what type 1 diabetes is all about.

I have also showcased my first year of diabetes through a scrapbook including photos of my hospital stay including the meal menus as well!  So let's begin this journey - of course I have a million photos to showcase diabetes, but I will pick some key ones that I think showcase type 1 diabetes the best for me.

This photo was taken when I was still in the hospital. Ironically enough I was looking at a scrapbook page my sister made me (not a scrapbooker at all!)   When I look at this picture I want to run up behind myself and give myself a hug because I know that although I didn't show it - I was unsure about where diabetes was going to take me and I was worried about what diabetes would do to me. Little did I know I would be posting this exact photo on a blog that has reached over 27 000 indviduals - little did I know....

This was in July 2010 and I think we can all guess what went on this day! I was finally hooked up to an insulin pump and I guess I shouldn't say finally because it really didn't take me too long to decide to take the plunge and hook myself up.  This picture says a lot, because I can tell by the look on my face that I am still a little unsure about the thing. In fact I remember the day the lady came to put the site on me.  She then left and all of a sudden I realized what I had done. I was no using an insulin pump and had to figure it all out - little did I know how much help was out there, but still! It was a crazy feeling.

And so diabetes gave me something rewarding to do.  I often tell people in speeches that, 'diabetes was the best thing to happen to me' and even when I explain why, people still think I am crazy, but some how believe that I have found that happiness within my diabetes.  I am happy where I am today and I credit diabetes for awakening me. I really am so happy for all the people I have met. Such a rewarding feeling.

This photo was taken this year and believe it or not this is a bunch of type 1's plus Banting! Without Banting we wouldn't be standing there - how amazing is that!  But, this photo represents what I have done with diabetes in the past year.  I love being around other type 1 diabetes and to be able to get together and have such a great support group -around me.

Kayla

You Know, I Know

Vince & I in Dominican!
One of my biggest supporters - He knows!

No one will ever understand what it is like to live as a diabetic until they are diagnosed - just like anything else in the world, it's really hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes, even if you're the most empathic person out there.  The thing about diabetes; however, is that there are a bunch of misconceptions, but saying that, how many stereotypes do we use on a daily basis about things we are ignorant towards?  As much as we try to avoid labelling - it just happens.

Today's topic is to talk about something we as diabetics wish that people without diabetes knew.  Well, first of all, if we are talking about the general public my answer would be different compared to the people that I love and are close to me.   For the general public, I wish they knew that diabetes isn't something that we can grow out of, it makes me really sad when people state, "it will go away right? like, it's not forever..."  it makes me sad because I know that I have to sadly reply with, "yes, it's forever..."   I don't blame anyone for being ignorant towards diabetes because I was before I was diagnosed only three years ago.  Truth is, before I was diagnosed in grade twelve we had a practice project not worth marks, that was on diabetes and I decided not to do it... it was in math and if it wasn't for marks, I didn't find much point in doing it.   I didn't care at that point to learn about diabetes stats.

For the people that I love and that I am close to, my answer is very different because it is more of an apology than a lesson on diabetes.  I would want them to know and I hope they DO know this - but, when my blood sugars are crazy and my mood strikes - I hope you know that that is diabetes talking. Unfortunately, diabetes has more power than anyone can imagine, it determines when you want to go for a run, if you are going to have a good night sleep and of course if you're going to get moody.

As much as we don't want diabetes to be the focus of our lives, it just so happens it sneaks its way into life's occasions.  We live with type 1 diabetes every single day, every hour and every second, but at the same time the people around us do too.  Of course non diabetics will never truly know what it is like to check their blood sugars daily, take insulin, give themselves needles or have to get up and grab snacks, but they will learn quick for you and we can only give them the biggest smiles and hugs for all that they do.

Kayla

Dream a Little

As I read ahead in the topic list I saw that one of the topics was a diabetes dream device. I spent this week thinking of what I could have that would make diabetes 10x easier, even 1x easier would be great.  So, now that it is time to write about this diabetes dream device, Bayer, Medtronic, anyone? start taking notes.  

If only we had an insulin pump that was mini like those mini iPods.  Sometimes I get so frustrated having to shove the insulin 'box' into my bra.  Although, at times I forget it is even there, when I do know it's there, a.k.a when  it starts vibrating or digging into my chest, that is when I wish that they would just make something tiny, so that hiding the pump felt better at least.

Okay, I understand the tubeless pump that is out now, but that is too big for my liking to be attached to my arm/leg/belly. I much rather have my tubing, but with something tiny on the end of that tubing; rather than the clunker that it is.  Like cell phones I am sure pumps will get smaller, thinner, better - but right now the device that I want just isn't out there.

There are so many dream devices I could wish for, like something that checks my blood sugar for me, but better than a CGM, I don't want to EVER see blood from my finger tips EVER again.  I also wish that carb counts flashed in front of the food, so I didn't have to take the time to look or guess.  Just see the apple flashing 32 grams.   All of these devices would be wonderful, but the more I thought about my diabetes management I realized that I am okay with having to carb guess, or test my blood sugar at the moment, I just want to wear something a little smaller, after all bras were not meant for three....

But, with all that said, all the diabetes devices out there started with a dream or at least an idea. Someone looking to give diabetics a hand, an easier way of managing their diabetes.  Yes, these companies make millions and millions of dollars, but think about what they have created for us, amazing USB meters, tubeless insulin pumps and of course INSULIN!

I feel very blessed to be diagnosed when I was, the pump was already approved to be funded for adults living with type 1 and I was diagnosed at a time with amazing insulin pump choices as well as meters. I am lucky to have been diagnosed in Canada and to have such a great support system from nurses to family.   So, even though we think we are outrageous for thinking of diabetes dream devices we are actually not to far off - look how far we have come in the diabetes world and with such an avid community let's continue to dream!

Kayla