Tighten Up

At any doctor's appointment or D.E.C appointment you attend you are usually if not always told you need to tighten up your blood sugar or you COULD tighten up your blood sugar. I know that for me, I would easily brush this off because who in the world has time to tighten up their blood sugar. Personally, I juggle school, work (sometimes), homework, and a personal life and I feel like this is pretty common among my diabetic friends.

For awhile hearing the word, "tighten up your blood sugar" made me think of lacing up skates. First of all skates are uncomfortable and sometimes it can be uncomfortable trying to manage your blood sugar because it does not come natural to have to think about your body in those terms (plus it's not natural to walk on blades). When we tighten skates or have our skates tightened for us - we leave no room for movement. The doctors want us to pretty much have no movement in our blood sugars and as all diabetics know that is not impossible.

No matter how hard I try I will never have perfect blood sugars like the Endo's want. I will not be able to tighten my blood sugar to the point of no movement. The fact is that I live with diabetes every single day of my life not just the day I see the doctor.

We can all strive for perfection, but perfection does not mean happiness or success. I personally have been trying to maintain good blood sugars, but I do not expect to never reach the teen's. I know that my body is always changing, I'm always moving and I am living life not by how tight I can make my sugars, but how exciting I can make my life.

Kayla

Don't You Wish

Don't you wish that the inspiration you gained from the weekend could be explained to others who weren't there? As much as we try to explain how it feels to be up there - nothing comes close to how you actually felt and feel.

After being at winter slipstream I feel alive and at what moment I felt that - well there was many. I recall specific moments where I began to live a little bit more and smile a little bit more. The first experience was on the first night when we got to know each other. I kept thinking, "wow, these people are all diabetic and know matter what I say they know exactly how I feel." I also was thinking how individual I feel at home with my pump and meter and how now I feel 'normal' within this group.

The second moment occurred during the challenge course. Which looked impossible, but of course was not. Four of us had to climb up the pole, stand together on the top and then we leaned back relying on each other. When I got to the top, (knowing at the back of mind I was going to accomplish this) I felt alive. I felt amazing, looking down below, above and beyond. I felt like I could do anything and will do anything.

Another moment was when I went skiing for the first time ever in my life. To add to this brand new experience I was in the dark and on a frozen lake. On the way back I was for the most part by myself focusing on gliding without falling - and at one moment I stopped and just smiled. It felt good, just standing on skis, in the dark, with the stars, on the lake, smiling. I began to think, "Wow, if I knew diabetes would take me here, I would recommend this disease to anyone!"

The following moment came shortly after in the core. As we drank hot chocolate and talked about diabetes, travel, adventure and family amongst one another. It was absolutely amazing, and I stayed up until 2 a.m just talking about things that I could never talk about otherwise for that long.

Then at 2 a.m as I was walking back to my cabin alone, I looked up at the stars - that were amazing and once again smiled, knowing that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now with my life... I was proud of myself and proud to be a diabetic.

There were many moments like this throughout the weekend, but these are the ones that stood out the most to me. I am sure other diabetics at slipstream have moments similar to these that occurred during the weekend.

Kayla

Greater

We hear it all the time, "That's impossible" or "I am only one person - what change can I bring?" and these statements are made all the time about things that are not in anyway stable and can be changed. We seem to think that our ideas are impossible to get out there, but at the same time we say it's a small world isn't it?

Thanks to Chloe Steepe and her gang because they didn't believe that diabetes education was stable. They scooped diabetics right out of there D.E.C chairs and placed them on a sandy volleyball court or a big pile of snow or maybe right in the middle of a giant mud pit.

And with that all these diabetics have a chance to take their little or big ideas of diabetes and put them on the table and make change. Slipstream has allowed diabetics from anywhere and everywhere to feel connected and feel like their ideas are far from impossible.

During Slipstream we had plenty of time to share our ideas of what it is like to be diabetic, what activities or events we are participating in and what we would like to see happen. Listening to everyones ideas was exciting because it widens your concepts, personal ideas and thoughts. From this we learn and then our ideas become even greater.

Kayla

So Can You.

As I stare at this blank screen I know that I could fill the page with words beyond words of how my weekend went. I have learned so much that I have a feeling that I will not be at a loss of words for awhile on my blog.

This weekend 40+ type 1 diabetics went up to Haliburton for a weekend of activity, inspiration and connection. This event was put on my Connected in Motion - which is the group that I do all my events with. The group of diabetics although individual outside the slipstream were all very much alike within it.

Even though we had our own little and big stories of triumph and inspiration we all were constantly beeping, pricking, pumping, checking, Dex4 tab binging and injecting together. No one gave anyone any weird looks for pulling a pump out of their bra or pant pocket. No one asked them if they could eat that because it has 'sugar' in it and no one asked them what the difference between type 1 and type 2 is.

My experience will have to be shared within several entries because it was almost an endless learning curve I was on. I learned and gained so much from this experience. Although the weekend seemed shorter than ever - so much was jammed packed within it.

I got to talk about my diabetes in a way unlike no other nurse, doctor, friend, parent, teacher etc. could ever understand. I got to stay up until 2 a.m talking about what finger I poke the most and the crazy things I do when I am low.

Most of all I got to hear stories from people from all walks of life that completed marathons, traveled around the world and entered to do a Death Race... Every single person was an inspiration to me because I knew that what they had accomplished can also be accomplished by me.

This weekend was not just about getting away from those crazy non-diabetics that are in our life, but it was about learning to accept your diabetes and know that you can live above and beyond with your disease - all you need to do is look around slipstream and know that they did it and so can you.

Kayla

Alike

Still, I find myself thinking about that meeting. Why it made such an impact one me I do not know. I do not suffer from an addiction (unless we consider how much diet pop I drink...) and I do not really know anyone that suffers from addiction personally.

Yes, we have all seen intervention and we just find it interesting how a person cannot stop - and still I have no idea what type of challenges they face. Yet, I find myself taking more than anyone can ever imagine from that meeting last night. More than I can describe - and let me tell you how glad I am that Michelle came, because she truly understands what I mean by this indescribable experience.

Now, it is true, no matter how hard we try to put ourselves in other people's shoes we will never know. Unless you have gone through the exact same problem, obstacle or hurtle - you will never know how it felt. But, since we are empathic humans (most of us at least) we can understand and believe in what that person has to say.

With that said, no health professional, nurse, professor, parent, best friend etc. will ever know how a diabetic feels. Yes, of course they can empathize and maybe come incredibly close to what that diabetic feels, but truly only other diabetics can know what it feels to walk in that person's shoes.

Why? Well, even though these people may be in our life constantly and may have been the biggest support you have ever had, being a diabetic or anything for that matter is something that only a diabetic can know. It is easy to give it a name, tell the symptoms and treatments, but it is impossible to feel what it is like to live that life.

This same view is shared by alcoholics in fact... which makes me really think about the connections humans make. Humans are diverse and many of us have friends of different upbringing, backgrounds, ages etc. yet, we probably have that one person or many people that are just like us or have gone through a similar situation.

I can hardly wait till I am in a room of fifty diabetics who knows exactly how I feel. Know what I mean when I say things like, "I hate when I have to prime my pump or sometimes I guess my sugar instead of actually checking it and usually that seems more accurate..."

Kayla

Everyone has a Story

People have told me that I am inspiring through my dedication to diabetes and outreach to those around me; however, I never understood why I could be so inspiring when this seemed so simple to do. Diabetes was a part of me that could not be changed and writing and participating is my therapy away from insulin.

I am always inspired by others for various reasons, for example: I am inspired by Clinton and his dedication to his hockey - his motivation is one to be inspired by and gives me strength and believing that I can accomplish anything I set my mind too.

It was not until last night did I realize that inspiration does not just come from those who have accomplished a million different things and went public about it; rather, inspiration can come from the basement of a church during an A.A meeting.

Now, the reason I went to this was for a class project in my Form of Addictions class. I will not disclose information about what happened in this meeting; however, I will let you know how this meeting completely inspired me. I took Michelle with me - since I was nervous, but I know that Michelle took away a lot from this meeting as well.

The important thing was that we did not have to be alcoholic to learn and get inspired. The personal challenges that these individuals go through are outstanding and the ways that they cope and find strength or even more amazing.

I learned that you should never give up. You should never stop trying - just keep going. But, most of all I learned to wash away all the stereotypes and stigmas that are placed on these individuals because everyone has a story.

Kayla

Busy Bee

Where have I been? Well, truth is I have been extremely busy with school, the gym and everything in between. It has been a busy January and the busyness will not stop until the end! But, keeping busy is something I like to do, so I am not complaining.

This month I have been trying hard to go to the gym as much as I can and with Michelle, it has been a lot easier to hold to it. We always treat ourselves to the sauna after - which is half the motivation to be there.

I have discovered that the sauna has given me many health benefits that I am aware of. First being my overall mood, second my sugars and third my skin. It has been very relaxing as well. I suggest it to anyone that has access to one or thinks that it may be right for them.

Overall my January has been pretty awesome, I have been to the Leaf Game in Toronto with Clinton, and will be going to Brad Paisley concert on Thursday with my family and then it is off to Slipstream with Connected in Motion!

I couldn't have planned for a better January!

Kayla