'Don't Bring a Diabetic to a Buffet" - It's going to be my book title. I thought of it this morning at the buffet. It's not that I don't want to be at a buffet, it's not that I don't adore food.. It's simply like putting a child in a toy store and saying, "now don't touch anything.. only the playing cards and marbles, avoid the electronic gadgets and toy race cars!"
I experienced buffets as a diabetic on my cruise in April. Of course we all know how that turned out the first time, and I didn't plan on crying over a dumb buffet ever again. But crying was one thing I committed to not do but feeling a tad bit sad about buffets wasn't something I could ignore. It makes you realize how much a human can really eat, beyond feeling full. I can recall eating say 3-4 slices of pizza and now eat 1-2 slices and become super full. I look at everything I piled on my plate before having diabetes and think two things, unhealthy and wow that's so much.
Buffets of course are a free for all. You grab your tray and pile the plates with massive amounts of food, not any kind of food but the best kind of food that you only wish you could eat all at once, pizza, potatoes, cookies, brownies, bacon, waffles, ice cream, you name it, a buffet has it. The reason I would name my book, Don't Bring a Diabetic to a Buffet is because the whole saying doesn't only relate to a diabetic at a buffet, but a diabetic in life. It's a challenge in a buffet, and that sounds so strange but really, it's hard to watch people eat what they want and not think of the consequences.
It's hard to know that you can't eat all those cookies, cinnamon buns, ice cream, potatoes, pizza slices.. in one sitting. Even though our bodies, diabetic or not have a hard time dealing with that amount of food intake, it's hard to know it's really going to hurt you if you try to push the limits like everyone around you.
I am happy that I have that wall that I have to stop at in a way, because it's better for my body, but I will be honest, don't bring a diabetic to a buffet.
Kayla
When I look at myself in the mirror today I can barely remember what it was like before. There are many symptoms that I faced and one of the major symptoms is weight loss. I went from a pant size of 11 to a size 4, I know that size 11 was and is not a healthy size to be and I denied that months ago. It's amazing the change my body has gone through in the past few months.
It wasn't a healthy way to lose weight, of course. I am glad though that I was in the process of becoming a healthier, better person before I was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. I was working out almost every day at the gym and I was working on eating healthy, not to say I didn't cheat the odd time or two. I was shedding pounds week by week, slowly becoming who I am now.
I gave away all my clothes that are too big. I didn't want them anymore. Despite being diagnosed with a 'disease' I knew that I was going to stay healthy and be the person that I knew I always was. It is hard to look back at pictures from last year. In a way I wonder how I didn't do anything about it.
March 13th isn't only going to mark the day I was diagnosed but the day that I truly made a promise to myself that I deserved the best. Not only in my physical appearance but for my mental health. I will not let anyone push me around, put me down or step in the way of my dreams.
Kayla
There is always that little something that is always on our mind. No matter how hard we try to brush it away it keeps following us. Many of us struggle with these thoughts and try to find ways to forget them or at least keep our mind off of them for at a few moments so that we can accomplish our daily chores.
I like to think of my blood sugar as my shadow. No matter where I go, there is always a constant reminder that my blood sugar will be following me. Not only is their a reminder that I can go low or high at any given moment I am also reminded that I am in charge. Unlike most people's bodies who can create their own insulin, I am in charge of acting like my pancreas. I give myself insulin shots according to what I eat or the amount of activity I do. Nobody expects that they would be having to mimic a body part, it just doesn't seem normal when you think about it.
What is normal? I worry about my blood sugar and I worry about the effects that having type 1 diabetes has on my life. Although I eat healthier, appropriately and I engage in physical activity, there are strong complications that are linked to having diabetes. Despite my strong efforts to be at a 'normal' blood sugar level, I have not succeeded.
I will admit that it is more than frustrating to wake up high, knowing that today isn't going to be the day that you are 'normal' I get so frustrated that I wonder what could I possibly do to reduce my blood sugar. If I don't eat I can go too low, if I over work my body I can run into some serious issues.
I know that diabetes will be my shadow for life. No matter where I go, how old I am, how I feel, I will worry about my diabetes. The important thing is that I am prepared.
Kayla
As a child we dream, our dreams are what we believe in and insist on pursuing. My dream was to become a teacher, have a family and a husband, nothing too out of the ordinary. We all dream of being healthy and we don't have a doubt in our mind that anything can change that.
This is my first blog entry but I've been writing since I was out of the hospital on March 16th 2009. At first I wrote to let everyone know how I was feeling, I was simply just updating the public on my well being, not thinking that I was actually inspiring people. It wasn't until I started to get comments that I realized that my writing was actually making a difference. People that I barely knew were commenting and leaving me wonderful messages.
I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on March 13th 2009 at age eighteen. It was nothing that I dreamt of as a child that was for sure. It's amazing how many things go through your mind after being told you're diagnosed with something whether it be diabetes, cancer or anything that you know is definitely going to alter your life. For some reason the first thing that came to mind was, "can I have children?" Suddenly at that moment I began to think about that vary dream I had set out for myself as a child. Was this dream possible anymore?
I was assured all though sometimes a tough process it is definitely possible to have children. I remember the doctor's always asking if I had questions. I did have plenty of questions but nothing came to mind except that one. I knew that I could take on the challenge of having diabetes but I just wanted to be assured that it wasn't going to stand in the way of my dreams.
It's not devastating being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It isn't the end of the world or even close. In fact I look at diabetes as the chapter in my life when it all turned around, when my life was extended just a bit longer. Do you know how healthy I eat now? How much I care about my body and my well being? How much I know that life is the greatest treasure? Diabetes didn't put a rain cloud over me, it brightened my spirit and my mind.
When I think about the opportunities that being diagnosed as given me, I can only think how lucky I am. Although I am constantly having to monitor my blood sugar, give myself injections and read nutrition guides I find myself living a better life. I've been inspired to dream with no limits not only the dreams that I thought of a child.
I look forward to writing notes on here and allowing the world to follow my journey.
Kayla
I was babysitting last Friday four children that I plan to babysit during the summer. They know that I have diabetes, I assume their parent's attempted to explain it to them before, plus I told them the first day I babysat them after being diagnosed. To me, it's amazing how much children really know. I didn't know how children would react to me having diabetes. For a child to watch a person put a needle in their stomach, or prick themselves for blood. I know grown people who can't watch me do these things so I just had no idea.
The children are so understanding despite their young age. They are always asking me questions about what I can and can't eat and how much I can eat. On Friday the children were sitting around the table eating their McDonalds watching cartoons. The youngest of 4 years old comes up to me holding a single fry in his small hands. "Can you have this one?" he asked me. It made me laugh because he was a four year old who some how understood that I could only eat so much.
We are all on a learning curve, every single one of us. Through our lives we retain so much information and experience that we could each write an interesting novel about what we know and how we know it. I think it is so important to take every opportunity that is handed to you. I didn't realize this until I was diagnosed. I never thought about how important it was to participate, push yourself and go beyond your limits.
It's almost like I took what I had and just sat with it. I want to be able to say I did what I wanted to do plus more. Clinton and I have entered a Mud Run, something I would have never even thought of. But when I saw it advertised in Chloe's Facebook status I knew that I was going to do this. I want to say I did it! I want to be able to tell people about it and share the experience with Clinton. I hope everyone realizes how important it is to live your life to the fullest.
Kayla
My sugars have been pretty decent lately, I have had some highs but nothing too extreme that I couldn't handle. Once again Clinton & I ventured out to the movies, and this time I had a much different feeling when I walked into the door and was blasted with the smell of fresh popped pop corn and melting butter. Instead of feeling upset, I walked in with a smile. I knew that I couldn't eat the popcorn at the movie theatre tonight and that was okay! I was there to enjoy the movie and to spend time with Clinton.
Today Clinton surprised me with a picnic at Webster's Falls. I can't thank him enough for the time and effort he puts into every little aspect of our relationship. I can recall sitting in the doctor's office on Friday, March 13th. The doctor had just told me that I would be spending a weekend or more in the hospital while they lowered my blood sugar and taught me how to live with diabetes. As you can all imagine, here I was sitting in a beaten cushioned chair with tears bursting out of my eyes wondering what the hell is happening?I text Clinton. He was on his lunch I had talked to him earlier, telling him I had to go to the doctors because something was up with my blood sugar. I text him, trying to explain I would be in the hospital for the weekend. I wasn't told yet that I had diabetes, and I hadn't put the pieces together to figure it out on my own. Clinton was worried and tried to find out what was going on, but I had no idea myself. I arrived at the hospital, and was put in the emergency room for several hours. Clinton was by my side the whole time, despite visiting hours ended at 8:00 p.m he stayed until I was brought to my room. Even then it took a nurse to pretty much kick him out. Every day I spent in that hospital room, Clinton was there. I never thought to this day he would be so involved with helping me. It is unbelievable how much a person can really reach out to someone who is need of a helping hand, a hug or even just a laugh. That goes for every single one of you. The comments, the gifts, hugs, and helping hands that are given to me mean more than can be expressed.
Kayla
Have you ever wondered if one thing was different in life, how many other things would change? If you hadn't decided to join a club would you have ever met your best friend? What if you didn't decide to go to school would you know what you know now? So many choices that we make change the outcome of our lives. Sometimes I wonder what if?
I've always tried to think that everything happens for a reason. After being diagnosed I was at the mall and saw a key chain at Halmark that said, "just believe, everything happens for a reason" I had to buy it because it's a reminder that as much as you think you don't deserve what happened, it happened for a reason. Just believe!
I thought about something as simple as working at Smitty's. I dropped off my resume there, not thinking much of it, only to be called an hour later because I was hired. I never would have thought that, that simple resume drop off would make such a big impact on my life. First off, I met two very special friends there, that I don't know what I would do without now. They know who they are. I can't think of any other way I could have met these girls, they don't even live in Brantford. Not only did I meet two wonderful ladies but I also met someone who I am very fond of, my boyfriend. He didn't work at Smitty's but he was friends with the ladies. It all leads hand in hand, in which your life is made. It's amazing how one simple choice leads to so many different things.
In life we go through so much, big and little issues. At times we think, 'I'll never get through this' only to realize a couple years later, 'wow that was dumb!' We have all been there more than once in our life, we regret, get frustrated, confused and move on, only to think, what if?
This leads to me thinking, what if I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes? I know people say it's not healthy to think this way but seriously who doesn't? If I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes would I have just kept doing my daily gym routine, only to give up like everyone else, and gain weight back? In a way I can't think of positives anymore for not living without diabetes. I know it would be nice to not give myself needles, not check my blood sugar and eat junk! But in a way I think this disease was given to me for a reason.
I have met the most wonderful, beautiful people. People that well I met before I had diabetes. It wasn't until I was given this disease that I realized how beautiful people are inside, people that didn't talk to me in high school, didn't talk to me on Facebook, wouldn't know me if I passed them on the street, these people who were simply just names and faces to me, are now viewed so differently to me.
I am proud in a way to be able to get to know these people. I am also honoured to meet other people that are new in my life. People who share similar stories with me, and can relate to me on a level that many others can't about my diabetes. What if I wasn't diagnosed with diabetes? I would not know how truly beautiful my peers are, how much they care and believe in me and what I am doing. I would not know how far someone will go to make sure that I am okay, to know that that person is going to take care of you through thick and thin. I would not have the knowledge to inspire and teach people about my disease and the importance of health. Without my diabetes, what am I?
Today I can happily say that I am OKAY with having type 1 diabetes. I am OKAY that I have to live this life day to day, despite the frustration that this disease brings. I am OKAY to know that I can go low, I can go high, there can be bad days, good days and days that I don't know what to do. I am OKAY because I have beautiful friends and family. So the next time you think what if? Don't be afraid because you will realize everything happens for a reason.
Kayla
