Diabetes Awareness Month - Two Messages

It has been awhile since I last blogged, and in the year (and a couple months) a lot has happened!   Reviving the blog during diabetes awareness month in order to spread awareness (of course!) but continue to share my growth, hiccups and life changes along the way.  

As many people know, I started this blog just after diagnosis in 2009. I was freshly out of high school by a year, and was in between stages of my life - High school and Post Secondary.  I knew that life was going to be different after that diagnosis. I knew no longer could I eat without a thought (how many carbs, what will this do to my blood sugar, did I bolus correctly?) and that once seemingly simple things wouldn’t be as simple anymore. 

Flash forward 13 years later, and here we are.  In this time, not once can I think of when diabetes did not allow me, instead it sometimes acted as a motivation to press on anyways. Don’t get me wrong, diabetes made sure it provided enough challenges for me along the way, but I can confidently say I have not let it discourage me. 

Since last blogging, I have gotten pregnant, had a successful and mainly uneventful pregnancy and had another healthy baby boy.  Now as a busy mom of two boys now, currently on maternity leave with one in school and one depending on me night and day, diabetes sometimes takes a back seat. Never enough to worry me, but there are times I forget to bolus, that’s for sure! 

I guess for diabetes awareness month, my two messages are short and sweet (no pun intended!). First, be aware of the signs and symptoms of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.  Common symptoms are frequent urination, blurry vision, extreme thirst and weight loss. 

Second, if you are diagnosed with diabetes or someone you love is diagnosed with diabetes, know that despite challenges, it is possible to do all things you set your heart on.   

Hopefully, I’ll blog sooner than later again, but in the meantime, I’ll be over here making school lunches, changing diapers, and trying to remember to bolus. 

Kayla 

Curious Minds

For all of my life, I’ve spent time around children.  When I was old enough to babysit I began to watching the neighbourhood kids. Word spread and I began watching family friends of friends children.    I also worked a short time at a daycare. Eventually when I moved away from home in 2009, it wasn’t long before I was once again finding babysitting jobs across my new city. It was honestly a great side job while in post secondary and I was able to make enough for that to be my income for all the fun stuff you spend your money on in University (i.e groceries, vodka cranberries and clothes from the mall).  I began nannying shortly after graduation for a couple years until I was able to settle into a career (that is not child care related).  

Since I was diagnosed in 2009, it became important to learn how to communicate my diabetes to children.   Diabetes can be complicated to explain even to adults because most adults believe they already know what diabetes is.    You can spend a lot of time trying to explain the differences of type 1 & type 2 to an adult.    But, with children you may be their first impression of what diabetes is.  

The obvious explanations come with explaining how an insulin pump works. Depending on age, I often described this as a machine that gives me medicine.  Sometimes they will be curious where the tubing goes, how it connects or what the screen looks like.  Which I’m always happy to explain.  

For CGM, I explain this as something that checks how I am doing, although I didn’t wear CGM often back then. There were times I did have to finger poke while babysitting which was always eye catching to children, beeping, blood and flashing numbers.      

Overall explaining my diabetes just meant that I had to tell my machine what I was eating, I had to keep an eye on how I was doing and sometimes I had to drink a juice box.   It wasn’t overly complicated and I was more than happy to answer their curious questions.  I figured if I set them up with good diabetes education now, they’d be less likely to ask a type 1 if they had the bad kind of diabetes in the future!  

Now here we are with a child of my own, a child who asks a lot of questions about a lot of topics,  but has figured out my diabetes and what it means quite well.   He knows mommy wears a pump and a “smoke detector” (my sensor) and that juice boxes and rocket candies are mommy’s for her diabetes.   So much so that anytime he sees rocket candies he gives them to me.  

As he gets older I know he will have more questions, but allowing him to explore and understand is important.  He’s gentle when he is looking at my pump, and he is considerate when he knows that open juice box is for me.   For a toddler, it’s quite remarkable how understanding they truly can be when you explain and teach them so.  

Sometimes we don’t give children enough credit for what they can understand.  I’ve learned that children are incredibly compassionate.  All of the children that I have taken care of have shown me this.    I’ve learned that they can be helpful, and curious.  Some of the best learning conversations about diabetes has been with the children I have watched.  

I am curious now, how do you explain type 1 diabetes to your children or those in your life?  

I am Capable

It’s been literally years since I last wrote, but at the same time, the last two years feel like they could be summed up in one word, strange.  The pandemic and the repercussions of such lasted much longer than anyone could have predicted and while the world is possibly settling into place again, the lingering effects are still there. 

While we both work from home, the limitations on travel during the last couple years had us being quite creative with things to do more locally. Especially when you have a toddler because there is only so much entertainment inside the four walls of your home.   We took a big family trip together to California in the spring which was much needed and appreciated as prior to the pandemic, Mike and I travelled quite often.  To be able to now travel with our son is quite fun, albeit challenging sometimes!   

Diabetes wise, I feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster, not necessarily the blood sugar rollercoaster but the emotional side of living with type 1 diabetes.  Of course we know it can be challenging at times, but it also takes a considerable amount of focus when you’re trying to achieve A1C goals or better time in range. Truly it can be hard to find the time to do a proper site change or pre bolus sometimes. 

I find that I have blips of focus and other times I realize I haven’t paid attention to my diabetes at all.  Often I’ll find myself laying in bed thinking, did I do enough to take care of myself today?  Because truth is taking care of myself means also taking care of my family, you know so I can truly show up for them everyday.  

This is the emotional rollercoaster part, because while trying to balance life and diabetes, comes sacrifices, forgetfulness and self doubt.   It’s a tangled mess that leaves you feeling like you could have done more, but how.  

This is diabetes though, and I remind myself that this was how diabetes showed up in college, university, my wedding, and pregnancy and a pandemic. Unpredictable, emotional and at times all encompassing.    It’s part of living with diabetes , the good, bad and ugly.  But we figure it out, we figure it out because we are resilient (not perfect) but capable, oh so capable.  And I know this because I’ve proven it time and time again.  

Ways to Support

Well, this has been quite the month!  We’ve spent almost the entire month isolated. Since Mike works from home, not a whole lot is different on the home front, but I do miss my routine very much!    We try to get out for walks when we can, because of course Cola also needs to go outside but part of me realizes that soon that could be cut short as the measures get more and more severe - plus the trails and sidewalks were starting to look like the mall with all the people that have no place to go but outside. 

Living with type 1 diabetes, I realize I may be more at risk. To be honest my blood sugars haven’t been optimal because Nixon keeps me incredibly busy (we have an early mover since six months and he’s go go go!) and since my fitness has drastically gone down since we can’t go to our baby and mama classes - it’s just been a bit of a struggle bus over here. Not to mention the extra snacks from being near the fridge all day. 

Since we are all practicing social distancing (or at least we should be!) I wanted to chart out a couple things you can do for the type 1 in your life during this time because to be honest while staying home may sound like a good opportunity to catch up on new t.v shows or rest (unless you’re mom...) a lot of people living with autoimmune diseases are feeling a bit on the edge during this time. 

1. It’s possible that the type 1 in your life has had delayed or cancelled appointments from their doctors or nurses at the diabetes education centre. While they may have the resources online, they may be struggling with management.  Of course, don’t give them medical advice, but check in with them to see how they’re doing (both physically & mentally) and assist them (remotely) in finding alternatives for care.
2. It’s likely during this time of self isolation they will need to go to the pharmacy to pick up supplies such as insulin, test strips, sensors etc. Thankfully pharmacies will stay open (of course!) but having them go may put them at risk, instead you can assist them by suggesting alternatives like delivery or if you’re well enough picking up and dropping off their prescriptions on their porch.  Of course this is ultimately up to them and what you feel comfortable doing, but what I’ve found is a lot of people do not realize the amount of delivery options out there for things like medicine, supplies and groceries.                
3. Grocery stores are insane right now. We’ve been doing online ordering and drive up pick up. It means we don’t have to interact wit any other humans outside of our car!  As a type 1 we need low supplies whether that’s juice boxes, fruit snacks, skittles etc.  I don’t believe these things are high in demand for others, but when we run out of low supplies, going to the grocery store just to pick up fruit snacks may feel a bit silly.  Instead, if you’re heading out to get groceries or making an order, check in to see if you can add a low supply to your list to once again porch delivery drop off.   I think this is a good idea for anyone that is living in close proximity. The less people going to the stores, the better!

Thankfully, I’m not self isolating alone and have Mike to help me.  But there are type 1s out there who are home alone and could use the extra support during a time of uncertainty.   I realize how important it is to at least attempt to keep our diabetes in check despite battling stress, and other entities that come with staying home (possibly child care, work etc.) however, sometimes this is difficult and can seem like an endless pull.   Finding ways to support each other during this will be what helps us keep positive.  

Kayla 

Shifting my Perspective

I must admit I didn’t realize the impact this COVID-19 was going to have on this world and by world I mean literally every thing from travel plans (our Disney trip...) to groceries, right down to general human contact.  I was at Shoppers Drugmart earlier in the week to get a few things and didn’t stock pile on anything like toilet paper or snacks (okay, I did buy some Cadbury eggs, but they’re long gone).  I didn’t think about getting more insulin or juice boxes and maybe I should have? I don’t know. 

I don’t usually get anxious about this type of stuff. By “this type of stuff” I mean things that may greatly effect my diabetes.  I don’t know why I’m not a worry wart about it because I literally worry about EVERYTHING else but I guess that’s how I keep my cool about living with type 1 diabetes.  

When people say “compromised immune systems” I literally don’t think about myself in that group even though technically I am.  I am “the people” that are at risk I guess, and with everything slowly shutting down maybe I need to sprinkle a little worry into myself so that I am prepared as a type 1 to hunker down. 

Yesterday I looked into our pantry after hearing and seeing the lines that were pouring out of our local places like Costco and Walmart. We have pasta, we have rice, but my stash of fruit snacks for low blood sugars is getting low. Wait, I may need those. I do need those.   Of course I have run low on low supplies before, but it wasn’t a worry about whether or not I’d be able to get more.  I’m sure all the mamas are loading up on fruit snacks along with the toilet paper, so will fruit snacks be hard to find soon too?  Who knows. 

The next thing I did was look in the fridge to see how much insulin I had left. A few vials and because of the restrictions on how many vials insurance will cover during a certain period (I called) I cannot stock up.  So there was another little moment of, “oh sh*t”.      

It’s not really bothering me that I am “at risk” because with type 1 diabetes I am on the top of many lists, but what began to worry me was would I have enough supplies if things were to shut down, or become sparse.  

We often ‘joke’ about if diabetics would survive the apocalypse, after all we are so dependent on our supplies and medications and while this isn’t an apocalypse, it really shifted my mind into a place I’ve never actually felt.   A place where I truly realized my dependence on things despite always feeling at ease.  

I know access to these things like insulin and food has been something I have taken for granted when for many people around the world this is their everyday reality despite what’s happening in the world.  It has given me an opportunity to step back and realize how fortunate I am. 

Hopefully in this chaotic time we can also take time to appreciate all that we have and know that nothing is guaranteed.  Whenever the hysteria settles, I’ll be thinking of my health in a different light.  

Eleven: Friday the 13th 2009 vs. Friday the 13th 2020

Friday the 13th, it’s a familiar day, because it was Friday, March 13th 2009 when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. 

Most people know my diagnosis story, I’ve been blogging about it for eleven years. The eerie part has been that it was a Friday the 13th.  The emergency rooms were full of craziness, which is likely what it’s like right now eleven years later during this pandemic.     As Mike joked yesterday, “world is shut down, just like your pancreas.”   Hopefully the world can get back on its feet just like I did.  

Gift from Mike & Nixon 

To add some positivity to what seems like a daunting Friday the 13th.  I wanted to highlight three things that I am grateful for having been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.   Seems wild to see the positive in something that can be stressful, taxing and difficult - but I always try to find the good.  

1. Friendships Made 

 I am so incredibly lucky that my diagnosis introduced me to people (globally) that I would have not met otherwise.  Friends that I can vent to, laugh with and know they they truly understand. I’m so thankful for every single one of them. 

1. Timing of Technology

I’m very familiar with the technologies or lack there of before I was diagnosed. Never did I have to boil syringes to reuse them like my Great Grandpa did, or did I have to pee on a stick and wait for the results to know what my blood sugar was.  The technology has surely progressed in the past eleven years ten fold and I’m grateful for that. 

1. Empowerment & Growth of Who I Am

I’m not sure where I would be today had I not been diagnosed. I am not sure what my profession would be, if I would have found an outlet for my hobbies like writing,  or if I would have travelled as much as I have been lucky to do so.  What I do know, is who I am today is greatly shaped by type 1 diabetes.  I admit that I have really thrown myself into these opportunities (I realize that you don’t get to just travel the world as soon as you’re diagnosed) but having a story to tell and the confidence in my craft of writing, public speaking and leadership has allowed me to pursue these opportunities. Type 1 diabetes has empowered me to show that I can do whatever I set my heart on, with hard work  (pregnancy for example) it is possible.  

Thank you to all my friends & family for being there for me for the literal and metaphorical highs and lows.  

Kayla 

A Story to Tell: Year One with Type One and Twas My Type of Christmas

Books can be great tools for discussing type 1 diabetes with little ones and I don’t think it’s ever too early to start.  

Nixon won’t know any different about his mom having diabetes, the checking, juice boxes, test strips and tubing will be the norm to him as he sees me navigate type 1 diabetes.  What I’ll teach Nixon - with the help of these books Year One with Type One and Twas My Type of Christmas is that there are many others of all ages out there that live with type 1 diabetes. 

Thanks to author and diabetes dad, Mike Suarez for sending us two of his books Year One with Type One and Twas My Type of Christmas. These two stories that are so wonderfully written both had me smiling and tearing up as he tells the 
story of his son’s diagnosis through his child’s eyes.

You can find these stories on Amazon here: 

Year One With Type One

Twas My Type of Diabetes

Kayla 

Feeling Guilty

Guilt, we can feel it when we perceive that what we are doing is wrong or will be viewed as wrong. We feel guilty when we don’t check our blood sugars enough, we feel guilty when we see high blood sugar numbers or a not so pleasant lab result.  We feel guilty for eating something that we know we will have to try to fight a battle with later. We feel guilty. 

Most of the time when I feel guilty it’s on my own conscience, not because I fear someone else will judge me. I know that no one is going to see my exact blood sugar at that moment, but I fear to check it to ultimately know what it might be. I feel guilty that I didn’t perhaps take enough insulin, I didn’t give my mind enough time to figure out exactly what I should have done, or that I neglected my diabetes entirely.    

Sometimes when I know, just know that my blood sugars are wild - I try to avoid checking because I know confirming with results is going to change my mood. Of course my mood is effected already because I know it’s likely high, but seeing the exact pattern and perhaps how long it’s been high, will solidify that guilt.  

It’s hard to be ‘easy’ on myself and to remind myself that my blood sugar numbers or care does not define me.  I am capable of taking care of myself, but I forgive myself for the times I can’t do it all.   

Kayla 

A Book for Us: Mommy Beeps by Kim Baillieul

As Nixon grows more curious, I wonder what it will be like to explain my type 1 diabetes to him. He has already discovered my insulin pump, often tugging on the tubing or grabbing the pump, while I “ta-ta” him for now, before I know it he will be asking questions and I’ll explain! 

I stumbled upon something special online the other week, that made me place an Amazon order right away. A book that seemed so perfect for now, for later, for me and for him. Mommy Beeps by Kim Baillieul is the perfect little book for not only a child who has a parent with type 1, but also for the parent who has type 1.  

It literally brought me to tears reading each page that simply, yet precisely explained type 1 diabetes and all that it entails.  From doctors appointments, to pharmacy visits, to insulin storage and supplies - this book is a must for any child who loves a type 1! 

This book also has beautiful illustrations (Elisena Bonadio) that make you realize this book isn’t just an educational piece, but a beautiful story of the life of a type 1 mommy! 

While Nixon may not fully understand yet, I know it will be our special little book about his mommy. 

You can check it out here: 

Mommy Beeps

Kayla 

The Power of Community

The power of community is unmeasurable. I learned this early on in my diagnosis. I was shown the diabetes community both in real life and online within weeks of my diagnosis and I credit my positivity on that. Knowing people who are going through what you’re going through is incredibly helpful and also very healing at times.  You realize you’re not the only one who may be struggling or feeling drained and you connect over things that others in your life do not

I should have known that motherhood would be the same, it just turns out there are way more opportunities and mothers out there than there are type 1s!  Motherhood is funny because you are literally thrown into it without really being able to prepare. I mean we think we are prepared because we buy the things, we read the books or we do the classes (I only bought the things & totally winged the rest...) but really nothing can prepare you for what being a parent is really like.  Similar to diabetes, you can be the smartest endocrinologist with a strong knowledge of diabetes, but without that lived experience it’s hard to know what it’s really like until you’re thrown into it. .

I consider myself lucky because I didn’t deal with postpartum depression like some mothers do, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have the emotions, anxiety, worry, stress or loneliness that comes with being a mom. Those first few months are rough!  While I had found a few mom instagrammers online (which is both helpful and not helpful) I didn’t immediately think about finding a motherhood community to help re connect me to the outside world, like I said those first few months are rough.

Finding the diabetes community not only changed the way I perceived my diagnosis, but it also introduced me to many amazing people.  I knew that opening up myself to other mothers surely had to have a similar positive ripple effect into my life and surely it has.   It really is community that makes things easier.  Every time we interact with others, we get the opportunity to learn something new, feel a new connection, have an ah-ha moment, re energize or just feel a little less alone in this crazy adventure.

Community is so important regardless of what you may be going through, like that one saying says, “find your tribe & love them hard.”

Kayla

Setting Goals

January is a month of goal setting. While we are familiar with the promises we make ourselves and how often we set those goals aside after a few weeks, it’s always nice to start the month (and new year) off with a few good intentions whether we are successful or not at keeping them (because we are realistic!). 

I didn’t particularly set out with big goals as I approached 2020 because currently my goals are simple tasks like to have a shower, take a moment for yourself, etc. However, I did have some things I wanted to start in January because of Nixon’s age  and the groove I’ve been in as I learn all about motherhood. 

One of my goals was to eat dinner at the table more.  When it was just Mike and I we would sometimes sit at the table, but would get into the habit of eating on the couch, then comes baby and we literally would eat wherever and whenever baby said we could!   Now that we are starting solids, I wanted to get into the routine of eating as a family together. To me, as Nixon gets older and can chat with us, I want the dinner table to be the place we can all come together.  

Another goal, was to get out into the world and meet some other new moms.  This was made easy because my good friend Andrea gave me a gift card for a monthly pass to a place that does Mama & Baby fitness classes. 

This sort of ticked off two boxes that I wasn’t intentionally trying to which was to workout. Honestly, I make the same promises to myself and I either go all in or I create so much stress on myself it doesn’t benefit me.  Obviously I want to fit back into my pre baby clothes and see the numbers on the scale shrink, but overall feeling good regardless of those things is also important to me. One thing I do hope to do is to get back into running, as I loved running at one point in my life. Luckily there is a group in my neighborhood that I plan to join in April.

Obviously, there are thousands of blogs out there sharing similar sentiments, but that’s awesome. Let’s hope we can keep that motivation that January brings and carry it far into 2020.  

Kayla 

Show Up

Yesterday I had my first post pregnancy diabetes appointment with my endo. During pregnancy I was seeing them every 3-4 weeks to follow up on my diabetes since my insulin requirements were constantly changing as my body accommodated carrying a baby! I remember booking my November appointment long ago and thinking that it seemed so far away, but in what feels like a blink of an eye - it came and went.

I knew going into this appointment I was not as prepared as my previous ones. Of course because during pregnancy diabetes was high on my list. I had a huge motivation and the time to put as much effort in as possible. I actually looked forward to getting my blood work done because it gave me feedback and reassurance that I was doing the best I could do.   This time around, I didn’t print my reports ahead of time, nor finger poke nearly enough (only sensor data) to give them any kind of direction or pattern of my blood sugars.  My goal was just to make it to my appointment on time, make sure my blood work was alright and get out of there.   

Turns out taking a baby to an appointment that drags on isn’t fun. I mean, it’s never fun to wait for doctors to come into the small, sterile holding cell (ha!) but adding a baby into the mix who wants no part of being there adds so much more stress.  Needless to say my heart rate was high, I was sweating like I had just finished a marathon and I began to worry as I saw snow swirling around outside. I just wanted to move on. 

However, my thyroid levels came back a bit off which apparently can happen to type 1s after pregnancy.  According to blood work it appeared I had hyperthyroidism - meaning my body is producing too much of the hormone. The good news was that my endo explained it usually cures itself over time.   I wasn’t diagnosed, because she needed more blood work to confirm which meant after waiting, I had to go wait some more to get my blood work done.  

My doctor let me know she would follow up with me after the results came back from the blood work. I was also instructed to keep an eye on my resting heart rate since it was high while I was there.  She gave me a prescription for beta blockers in case it was regularly over 100 while resting.  That frightened me the most because of the history of heart conditions in my family. However, I think I can chalk up the heart rate to stress because since being home my resting heart rate hasn’t gone over 84.  

The appointment overall was fine. My a1c was 6.1 which surprised me. While I didn’t give her much to look at data wise, she gave me some suggestions for preventing morning lows. My next appointment isn’t until August (I’ll be 30 and Nixon will be 1 by that time - oh my!) and in the meantime I will wait to see what my thyroid is up to.  

It was eye opening to realize that health is ever changing and how important it is to show up to appointments even if they’re long, exhausting and sometimes difficult.   While it wasn’t easy trucking around a 3 month old in the snow, through the busy parking garage and all around the hospital - it was important that I showed up. Being a healthy mama is important. 

Kayla 

Nursing & Diabetes

Photo by Erin Girard Photography 

I remember when we were registering for our baby shower, the sales associate asked us, "What's your feeding plan?"  I felt like a complete fish out of water because the only plan I had was to feed my baby the best way that I could whether that was breastfeeding or by bottle.  What she meant, was if I needed to look into bottles, breast pumps, nursing pillows etc.   While I did get all those things, that was really nothing in comparison to really figuring out my feeding plan once baby was here.

When we prepared the nursery, I thought about what my future self would need.  Low supplies - everywhere.  I put low supplies in the nearest drawer to the nursing chair, as I imagined I'd be spending lots of time stuck on that chair without the energy or ability to get downstairs for a juice box. I burned through those low supplies in no time.

Things I didn't think about before hand was the mental and physical exhaustion that breastfeeding takes. Like, I would say it caused the most doubt in myself, literally every day I questioned if I could continue breastfeeding.   Not only did it cause my blood sugars to do whatever they wanted to do, I also physically felt sick each time. (I looked into this and it seems that a small amount of moms experience this sort of nausea in the early weeks of breastfeeding.) To add to my self doubt, baby was not gaining. However, every day I told myself tomorrow is a new day and now we are at 3 months! We are still nursing without the nausea or doubt - yay!

I still seem to be figuring out how nursing and diabetes can co-exist in a way that I am not going into deeper lows or having random highs (probably because nursing makes me SO hungry in the night sometimes!) Taking care of myself both physically and mentally is important and has been a learning curve in this new phase of life.  Diabetes adapts to these life changes, but not always in a helpful way.

Kayla

Priorities

It can be hard to make diabetes a “priority” when you have a family to take care of.  Between caring for Nixon, Cola and the household, even with help from Mike it can be difficult to find the time to manage my diabetes.  Of course this leads to highs I didn’t expect, that have been creeping up for hours, that I never noticed because I didn’t have the second to check.  

The biggest issue is making sure I change my site and fill my pump. While there are warning for low reservoirs, the time between the warning and empty seems to fly by. I then find myself having to fill my pump in the early hours of the night while combating high blood sugars and a very, very tired body and mind. 

Technology makes this 100x easier, because I imagine if I had to pull out a syringe or pen every time I needed insulin, I’d forget.  I also imagine if I had to prick my finger to know my blood sugar that also would take a backseat. So I am thankful for technology that makes it easier to manage diabetes when diabetes becomes a challenge to manage. 

Of course I want great numbers and an awesome a1c. I want to be healthy for my family and for myself, but it’s a balance between sanity and perfection and finding the right space can be challenging.

Kayla 

I Know That Worry

I know that worry.  I know that worry of carrying a baby while managing type 1 diabetes. I know that worry that you’re going to do something wrong and that the whole weight of the pregnancy (not just literal weight) but emotional weight is on your shoulders and only yours because you’re the one with type 1 diabetes, and you’re the one carrying that special baby. 

I know that feeling that you’re not checking enough, you’re not eating healthy enough, you haven’t cut back on carbs, you aren’t working out enough (or at all). I know that feeling. 

I worried while I was pregnant - I’m sure many do. But I worried that because I have type 1 diabetes, I had less of a chance of having a “perfect” baby, less of a chance of being a healthy pregnant woman and a glowing mother.  I know that worry.

Photo by Erin Girard

If you google type 1 diabetes and pregnancy a bunch of worry clouds the screen.  Articles about risks, complications and stories that will make you worry more than what drove you to google in the first place.  If you join a type 1 diabetes community page about pregnancy, you’ll encounter even more worry - other type 1s typing out their worries - I don’t blame them because we all feel that way. (Tip: leave the groups, and find a few key type 1s to confide in!) 

But, even though I know that worry (I won’t tell you not to worry) I will say that it’s all worth the hard work you’re putting in whether it levels up to other expectant mothers / mothers or not.  Because you worry, you care and that’s the best comment I ever received and I now pass it on to you. 

Almost 9 months of worry and my beautiful baby is here and now I worry about other things (of course!) but I worry because I care. 

Kayla 

The Call

We got the call at 1 a.m on Wednesday morning. I must have known something was going to happen because I had delicious pizza, a warm bath and got to bed early, Mike on the other hand... 

Shortly after 2 a.m on the way to the hospital 

We showered and I checked my pump

to make sure it was also ready to go - I didn’t want to be changing reservoirs or batteries mid delivery because that’s what totally would happen!  I put in a new battery and checked my insulin.  

Through labour and delivery, I had decided - along with my Endo that I would manage my diabetes myself unless I decided I couldn’t no longer.  Really, it meant both Mike and I would manage my diabetes because there were definitely times that I wasn’t able to.  So thank you to Mike who learned my pump and diabetes over the years! 

The “fun” begins 

The nurses also seemed happy I’d be managing my own diabetes, as one nurse said “type 1s know how to do their diabetes more than anyone else!” It’s true. We deal with our T1D 24/7 and know the trials and errors of managing a disease that literally changes minute by minute. 

To sum up 24+ hours, I laboured until I spiked a fever, which then led to having an emergency c-section so that both myself and baby were safe!  

Diabetes wise, I stayed fairly low. Having been on just fluids for over 24 hours, I managed to keep blood sugars between 3.5 and 5 mmol/L the entire time. A little lower than I wished, but better than high.  I balanced my blood sugars with Gatorade, Jello and Ginger ale.  The nurses still were in charge of checking my blood sugar every hour (I persuaded them to use my lancet - to save my fingers!) but I also wore a sensor. 

After delivery, as promised by my endo, my insulin needs would dramatically decrease. Since I was in recovery and was on quite a bit of medication, Mike changed the settings on my pump to adjust my basals.  I was visited by an endo a few times during our stay to make sure all was good. To be honest Diabetes wasn’t what I was trying to adjust to, so diabetes seemed easy in comparison. 

It was all really a blur during our stay, I don’t remember how much I was bolusing for or how well my blood sugars behaved, but I don’t recall it being too bad. 

Kayla 

Third Trimester

Alright, let’s take it back to third trimester. The hardest trimester of pregnancy for type 1s and probably for any woman really. You’re officially visibly pregnant whether you carried it all in front or all over (hello, giant butt!) and you’re uncomfortable, so very uncomfortable.  But, for type 1s it also means your blood sugars are creeping up and harder to control.  You throw so much insulin into your body only to have to wait it out and hope it comes down.  My basal rate was literally 3X the rate it was pre pregnancy! 

The doctors appointments become incredibly frequent, in fact the nurses and doctors knew me by name before I spoke and remembered past conversations we had - and they see A LOT of people.  You also are getting impatient because you just want to meet the little one whose keeping you up in the night kicking and forcing you to stop at EVERY SINGLE STORE to pee. 

For me, third trimester was a bit rough, only because my blood pressure began to creep up around 34 weeks ish. It was stressful because while I didn’t have any other symptoms of high blood pressure (besides actually having high BP) I wasn’t sure what this meant for me and my baby. Would this mean I’d be induced early? Was my baby okay? Would I need a c-section? Should I rest more? 

Well, what it meant for me was going to the hospital triage literally every single day (including weekends) to get my blood pressure taken and do a few other tests like a non-stress test, and urine / blood sample.  This is when the staff began to recognize me as I’d stroll in there and literally know exactly what to expect.  Lay on the bed, get hooked up to the NST machine which I called my “seat belt” and then get hooked up to the cuff to check my BP.  Oh and pee in a cup, the number of times I peed in a cup, I couldn’t even count. 

Each time I saw my OB, which was a couple times a week, I never knew what she’d say. If she’d tell me to it was time to have the baby early or if I’d be okay to keep going on. I know she was aiming for 38 weeks, but began to talk about 37 weeks or maybe even sooner. This scared me, but at the same time I didn’t want to wait too long and face the risks. 

On the Monday (36.4 weeks) I went in for my appointment with my OB. We took my BP and urine sample and within a few minutes of my appointment she looked at me and said, “I think it’s time to have baby!” I agreed because I didn’t want to play the game anymore of being scared of high BP. 

Then I was told to head to triage and of course this time my husband didn’t come to my appointment, so I had to get a hold of him to come down because I didn’t really understand what was about to happen.  They decided to induce me then, but then told me to come back when they called me. So we then waited for that call!

Kayla