If you don't bolus you're going to have a bad day, that little diabetes voice often mumbles to me after I get ready to eat. It's not that I don't want to take insulin for what I am eating, but sometimes I forget after getting through half my meal or I have hidden my pump in my bra and don't want to go through the inconvenience of leaving the dinner table to give myself an injection. You see, without insulin of course, my blood sugars will simply rise having nothing to lower them. Then, sometimes when you possibly get around to taking insulin for the meal you forgot to bolus for, you find yourself chasing highs not being able to get them down to a decent level.
Sometimes it is not that you forgot to give yourself insulin, but rather you didn't give enough. It can be really hard to carb count for something without a package. Sometimes when you've followed the rules of carb counting by looking at nutrition guides you will still find yourself being defeated by a slice of pizza or handful of gummy bears. Often times our high blood sugars can be in relation to life's stressors, the weather, hormones, all of the above.
The annoying part of it all is that when your blood sugars high, often you're not in the mood for people, things, sounds, weird smells, you name it, everything makes you angry. It can truly ruin your day waking up with a high blood sugar or hitting one in the evening before bed. Sometimes it feels like you don't have enough insulin in the world to get rid of the high and to plummet to a decent number or a low too quick, you're left once again feeling annoyed or lethargic.
Sometimes I wonder what a day would feel like without diabetes. Since diabetes is such an in your face disease, I can't remember what it was like to wake up feeling fine, to finish breakfast feeling good, to have lunch, dinner and a bed time snack without once feeling grumpy, annoyed, agitated or stressed. As much as I'd love to have a perfect diabetes day, there always seems to be a moment where I feel diabetes taking a toll on me.