Friday, October 26, 2012

Fears

A lot of people tell me that they could never give themselves needles and/or check their blood sugar because they have a fear of needles and blood. In reality, you just have to face those fears when it is a matter of life and death. Perhaps, those that are diagnosed with diabetes get someone else to give them needles for the first bit, but then have to face their fear and give one on their own eventually.   Thankfully, I never really had a true fear for needles and the amount of blood that drips out of my finger is little enough for me to be O.K with it - however, seeing blood during blood work is another story.

In my life I haven't had to face too many fears, and if I did they were quick and something that isn't incredibly necessary such as the fear of snakes, how often do I see snakes? not often - so when I see one, yes I am fearful, but since I don't see them often I don't have to think about it too much.  A week ago today was my accident, and it happened at night while it was raining, conveniently it is night time and raining this Friday night. Funny how life works out that way... eh?

Well, after the accident, I drove, and since then have been driving a bit, but not as often as I did previous to the accident.  The last time I drove at night with rain was mid week when I drove to visit Vince.  To be honest, I cried the entire time in fear that something was going to happen.  Hands were gripped, and I kept self calming myself.  I felt O.K once I arrived, but the way there which is only about a 10 minute drive felt like a lifetime.

Everyone keeps telling me that it is good that I am driving, had I not got in my mom's jeep the next day, who knows if I would have drove at all this week.  Yes, I am fearful, but I am taking the steps I need to take to be a confident driver once again.  You see, everyone has fears and like I said some fears you don't need to face often, but those fears that are constant, that some how show up in your life, those fears are the worst.

But, once you are able to break that fear think of how much you have accomplished.  I know that one day I will be myself, I will feel safe and that accidents happen and well life happens.  

Kayla

1 comment:

  1. I've been using a syringe to inject insulin since September 1965 and I am still afraid of needles. I really hate when someone else gives me an injection. I've told nurses that they should give me the syringe because in all likelihood I've been doing it longer than they :) I started injecting myself in August 1969.

    Checking my blood sugar doesn't bother me. However having the venipuncture does because I have very small and moveable veins. Instead of using the veins in my arms, they now have to use my hands, which is beginning to hurt.

    I know I'll never stop being afraid of needles, but I also know I have to use them so I just do it. but then that's it I'm the one doing it. I'm sure if someone else was injecting my insulin I'd be a basket case

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