Friendship

Throughout our lives we find people that we instantly connect with. We establish friendships at all different points in our lives and some of those friendships fade while others stick together. In my almost 21 years of living I have had many best friends and with that some have faded while others are still going strong.

Certain people play different roles in your life and just because something doesn't work out doesn't mean it was a waste of time. I have learned a lot from my past friendships. In the past two years I have met so many wonderful people and have established so many different relationships with people literally from all across Canada.

Connected in Motion has been a huge support system for me and as I reflect back on the past two years I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am for that group. The men and women I have met within that group are people that are extremely smart, talented, adventurous and experienced. They have so many great stories and are the nicest people I have ever met in my entire life.

Beyond Connected in Motion I have a great friendship with my friend Michelle. Everyone knows Michelle, I talk about her a lot and if you have been to any of the events she has been there too. She is honestly one of the most positive people in my life, she is always complimenting and encouraging me and I cannot have asked for a better best friend. I have known Michelle for almost 4 years now and she has always been a great friend, but after being diagnosed she really stepped up and showed how much of a unconditional friend she really is.

Of course my boyfriend Clinton has also been there from day one. He could have easily given up on me, but he has stuck by my side. We are a long distance couple - nearly 200 km away from each other, yet he is still able to be there for me when I need him even if that's a Skype video or phone call. When I look back on my notes I realize how great of a support he has been for me and a positive influence.

There are so many people that have been a part of my success as a diabetic. So many family members have truly been awesome and I know that I can turn to them for anything. I am such a lucky girl to have such a great support team.

Kayla

My Job

In two days it's the big two years. I am no longer an intern in this disease; rather, I am pretty experienced and ready to be considered a professional. On March 13th 2009, I was given the job of Lead Diabetes Specialist and although I was quite new at the position I handled it with dignity and pride.

My colleagues I met almost instantly after attending a meeting hosted by my head corporate chief, Chloe Steepe. She talked about all these other interns & professionals she knew and I knew instantly I was ready to take on the tasks that were about to be handed down to me.

I guess the job is a little crazy, the hours are ridiculous - who wants to work 24/7; however, the rewards are outstanding. I am given amazing opportunities, experiences and adventures that I don't think I would have been introduced to if I hadn't gotten the job in the first place.

Unlike any other job I can't think of anyone that makes me mad, you know that one person that does nothing or always call in sick and therefore you have to work? Nope, none of that! Every time I am around my colleagues they are ready to get down and dirty or follow the slipstream. What a great team!

The job is pretty selective - at least for now it is. So despite know one really applying for it, I am pretty lucky that I was given it. After all - it seems to have given me a lot more than I could have ever imagined.

Although there are no vacations or paid sick days, this job comes with benefits!

Kayla

10 things I hate about Diabetes.

There are plenty of good things that diabetes has given me; however there are also plenty of annoying things I want to give back.

1. I want to give back having to change my site every three days or so, because despite it being only a fraction of time and I know I waste more time checking Facebook then changing sites - I don't like it!

2. Having to check my sugar every single time I eat! Come on! Like can't a woman just pick something out of the cupboard and eat it without having to check where her sugar's at!

3. Counting carbs, oh god. I don't know if anyone has ever seen the commercial with the girl doing a bunch of calculations in her head at the grocery store for a box of cereal.. well that's me on a daily basis just thinking of numbers and adding them.

4. Highs and Lows! Although sometimes these can be entertaining to others they aren't entertaining to me unless it's when I can't stop laughing - sometimes that little fit is funny. Anyways! I'd like to just be at a normal range forever - but of course that will never happen.

5. Endocrinologist appointments! The dreadful visit to the doctor to get told you need to tighten your blood sugar and you suck at managing a disease that they have never managed themselves!

6. All the stuff I have to carry around or at least I am supposed to carry around! I never thought that I would be that kid with the backpack full of medication & supplies.

7. Giving insulin! I know I am on a pump - but it's like checking my sugar - sometimes I just want to eat and pretend I can just eat this without doing a single thing. I feel like a robot.

8. Stupid pump, why do you always get in the way. You are a pain in the butt to sleep with and you always fall off my hip and swing into oncoming objects. I don't know how many times I said, "OH MY PUMP!" or felt smack against my knee and realized it was my dangling pancreas ready to escape.

9. I don't know if this is a true fact, but from slipstream it seems like a lot of people feel this way. I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY. No matter what I eat, I usually can eat more and more and more after. If this is part of being diabetic, then fine, if it isn't don't tell me... I'd rather believe it is.

10. Finally, diabetes is scary because there are so many complications and risks involved. People like to tell me about all the bad things that happened to people that had diabetes and I cannot erase that from my mind. I am constantly checking my toes making sure they are all there, and looking at my eyes in the mirror.

Diabetes is scary as much as I like to say I am happy I got it... clearly it's not the best thing in the world; however, it introduced me to the best people in the world, the best opportunities in the world and the best mind set in the world.

My Own Doctor

I didn't sign up for this diabetes thing. I didn't look what it meant to be diabetic and say, "gee, that looks like a good time...I cannot wait to experiences the highs and lows." No one chooses to have any illness, but when it is given to us we are expected to take care of ourselves and learn the ins and outs of what it means to be a part of that illness/disease.

When I was diagnosed almost two years ago - I had no clue what diabetes was. In fact I had an optional project to do about diabetes in Data Management and I choose not to do it. The only thing I really knew about the disease was that my Grandma and Grandpa had it and they were doing just fine - plus Grandma had a candy cupboard full of creme eggs and mini chocolate bars - how bad could it be?

Turns out that Grandma and Grandpa have type 2 diabetes which I soon found out was nothing like what I was just diagnosed with. Here I was an eighteen year old girl, graduated from high school ready to move on and go to college, diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was ready to begin a new chapter of my life and of course the chapter wouldn't have been as exciting without being diagnosed with diabetes.

I had to become my own doctor for the first time in my life. I knew absolutely nothing about medicine and biology and frankly I had no where my pancreas was. A lot of people say to me that they would never be able to stick a needle in themselves, I think I would have said the same had someone asked me previous to being diagnosed, but when the nurse handed me a syringe full of insulin and asked me if I want to try - something inside me said yes.

From then on I was my own little doctor, adjusting my own basal and bolus and giving myself needles in my stomach. I had something that I knew so much about and that I could now tell people about. It was my own little doctor and with the help of all my assistance's I was on my way being a healthy diabetic.

Kayla

So what!

When I think back to life before diabetes, I can hardly remember what it felt like. I lived 18 years of my life eating whatever I wanted and doing whatever I wanted, yet I can hardly remember those days of feeling so care free. But, when I think of it, when are we ever so care free and not thinking about what we eat?

In class we are talking about eating disorders and other mental illness that are linked to it. Things like OCD and depression. We talked about how people with eating disorders are very much compulsive about what they eat and how much, counting calories and weighing their food, but hey! That's my life besides the whole anorexic & bulimia part...

I don't count calories, but I do count carbs, and I do it so often that I know off the top of my head how many carbs are in an apple, handful of chips and a cup of juice. I clearly know this isn't an eating disorder because it's a part of my life.

What is comes down to is I don't remember being carefree before diabetes because no one really is carefree about what they eat. So many people say to me, oh it must be hard not to eat candy or chocolate, but I can eat those things just as much as anyone else. Anyone can enjoy a slab of chocolate cake, but of course for anyone there are consequences whether that's because your allergic, your watching your weight or your diabetic. We all make choices about our food based on our personal belief of what that food might do to us.

When we are children we aren't counting carbs or measuring our food (unless we are diabetic children) we are eating lollipops by the dozen and taking regular trips to the candy store. But, there reaches a certain point when we suddenly want to know what we are eating and want to control how much.

As much as people like to say how hard it is for diabetics to choose what and what not to eat - it's really only a matter of personal beliefs and preferences. I am sure there are some hardcore people out there that are 10x more healthy and aware of their food than I am. Oh no! But I am diabetic! SO WHAT.

Just because I am diabetic doesn't make me healthier than anyone else because trust me I am eating those very things that you have labeled 'non-diabetic friendly.' I know how to handle these foods as far as insulin dosage and I am prepared to handle the ..."Opps! Guess that had more carbs than I thought!" moment.

Either way diabetics everywhere are eating brownies, drinking regular pop and refilling their plates with Chinese Food. It isn't our broken pancreas' that limit us it's our own minds. Everyone takes caution when eating and every now and then we splurge and take another bite - it's everyone's issue not just diabetics.

Kayla

Blogging

I am pretty proud of myself for keeping my blog for so long, sometimes I pick a random day and reflect on it. I really think about how I must have felt at that time, how complicated it had seemed at the time and how I can recovered from it all.

This blog means a lot to me and I know that it has been helpful to a lot of people from all the comments/messages I get from people. I love being able to give back because before diabetes I really didn't feel like I gave back much.

Diabetes has allowed me to speak about something, to reflect about something and not be ashamed. We are all interesting people, diabetes or not, but most people don't feel this way. I didn't feel this way before I was diagnosed - I didn't think that what I was doing was important, but really I did not do that much.

I have so many stories now to share and each day it gets better and better. I am always thinking of new things to do, see and try. There are so many things out there that are enjoyed by others that many of us miss out on.

Being able to reflect and share these things allows me to get even more out of the experiences. Reflecting these past two years has been awesome and I am glad that I decided to do this and will commit to doing it for hopefully the rest of my life.

I am glad I have a crowd to enjoy my writing and to share my stories with.

Kayla

For Life

I often look at my pump, the tube that runs into my stomach, the white site that sticks to my belly and think, "Wow I have to have this for life" and if not the pump the needles, for life. At this moment I wonder how I am dealing with this, how can I accept something for life.

I didn't make the choice to have diabetes, yet I have to have it for life. I think the best way I go about it, is take it one day at a time. Having the pump for one day doesn't seem bad, and then one day turns into a month, then turns into a full year. Instead of thinking, I am going to have this on my Wedding day, I am going to have this when I have kids, I am going to have this when I have my career etc. I think I am going to get by this day.

Diabetes has become a huge part of my life and I really don't go a day without thinking about it - because you can't. I believe many people think that I never stop talking about diabetes, this isn't true, often I don't talk about it, but it is constantly on my mind.

Next weekend, I have had diabetes for two years and I really want to take the next week to reflect and I am looking forward to sharing it with everyone.

Kayla