Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Diabetes the Socialite

It's funny how diabetes can be both a private and completely social type of disease.   First off, I deal with my diabetes pretty privately in the sense that when I check, I do it without most knowing, when I bolus or carb count, it's quick and barely draws attention. I am not one to make a big stink about not knowing where the package to the hot dog buns went to carb count, nor make a scene when my blood sugar dips low.   However, sometimes diabetes does become quite social and at these times I either absolutely enjoy talking about it or I begin to shut down.

I do a lot of things in the diabetes world, and because of that, most of my stories  relate to diabetes in some shape or form.  I enjoy this aspect of diabetes being social, often times it saves me in an otherwise awkward conversation and sometimes it really gives me an opportunity to educate.  However, it's times like when my blood sugar screams from the top of its lungs and I find myself being swarmed by concerned friends and family, following me around like a loose toddler that I begin to shut down and turn away from my diabetes, well, at least from talking about it.

Recently, I had a high blood sugar around a group of friends that I must admit I announced to everyone, myself. I was surprised by the high blood sugar, but it wasn't anything that I was worried about.  I know what to do. If I am passed out, I do not know what to do {because I'm passed out..} but if I am walking around, chatting, being a normal human being then I know what I am doing.     However, others get worried and I get it. Knowing me, I'd be the same person chasing around someone who I thought was not O.K. I am an empathetic person and I love that there are others, but sometimes, I can't handle it.

I felt like I was the one in the group that was irresponsible, let my health slip away, like I couldn't be trusted to take care of myself.   But, really, high blood sugars happen, low blood sugars happen. It doesn't matter if it's a weekend party at the cottage, or a boring Monday night on the couch, it all happens.  I am a self-proclaimed professional at getting things in order, it's actually super easy {albeit sometimes not...} I bolus, I check, I bolus, I drink water, I relax, I don't panic.

I love that my friends care. I mean, this blog post could be about going high or low and my friends walking away from me like nothing, not asking me a single question, or ignoring me because I am a burden, but it isn't about that. It is about empathic people who genuinely want me to feel good, and be healthy.  I much rather be surrounded by love than hate, and so I am very thankful for that... But sometimes, when diabetes wants to be social and you do not, it's really hard to wrap your head around that concept.


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