Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Self Love

Growing up we are told to love our bodies. We are told that each body is different and that there is nothing wrong with us.  This coming from the people that love us, otherwise we hear a different message from the media like, 'thin is beautiful' 'nothing tastes better than skinny feels...'  But, I want to focus on the goal which is to teach our children to love themselves for all that they are, not just their bodies but their minds and spirits.

I think we all have had moments in our lives or continuous moments where we battled with trying to love ourselves - our whole selves.  I've noticed that people have a hard time picking positives about themselves, but when it comes to negatives it's easy.  I think back to the Mean Girls scene where the girls are listing things they don't like about their bodies - some outrageous like, 'nail beds sucking...' (See the clip for yourself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhCzRr9EwBk)  Overall, we are our own worst critic.

When it comes down to loving myself, I try hard to focus on the positives that I bring to the table. I try to evaluate myself in a forgiving light. It can hard because with all social media accounts we tend to compare our lives to the lives shown online - which we know aren't always the 'real lives of real people.' Regardless, self love is important. But when it comes to loving your diagnosis - how does that work? Can we love diabetes without being weird about it? After all isn't diabetes a HUGE part of who we are, if not, can we think of it as something that is a part of us.

What made me think of this was hearing that one of the families I know allows their child to say their diabetes is stupid. Diabetes is stupid. I wholeheartedly agree. Diabetes is a constant annoyance in the lives of children, teens, adults and parents alike.  However, half of me wants to say that while diabetes is stupid, I am going to potentially have diabetes for the rest of my life. It is always going to be there. An insulin pump attached at my hip, vials of insulin stored in my fridge, test strips strewn throughout my house, car and purse and physically scars on my belly, back and fingertips, mood swings from happy to sad and feeling like absolute garbage every now and then.  While I want to hate diabetes, I don't know if it is something I can give myself permission to do.  If I said I hated the way my nose was (giving that I wasn't going to spend the money to fix it) I would be having to everyday look at my nose with hate or disgust.  Looking in the mirror thinking, why was I given this nose? it looks so stupid, instead of saying, "My nose is unique" and it "gives me character" or "it could be worse!"

I guess it's all in the matter of perspective. While deep down inside we curse our curves or our nose.  We think our hair is too thin or our laugh is too obnoxious.  We have to remember that from the beginning we were told to love ourselves - for everything we were.  If diabetes is going to stick around for the long run then I guess I have to love it too.


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