Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Come on Home

Monday I really spent the day thinking about what to talk about at the Meeting at NPC that I attended on Tuesday. I thought about the most important things in my life, what has changed, what I miss the most about my life before diabetes, how important it is to be aware of your disease and control it. I thought, and thought. But it wasn't like I was writing down anything, in fact it will all in my head, I just kept thinking over and over again, even when I was sleeping I think I was thinking, in the shower, at breakfast, right until I went to the meeting at 8 a.m.

I didn't get much time to say anything I planned on saying, in fact I barely said any of it. I was given pretty much ten minutes to just explain what I wanted to do. It was a little sad, in a way I felt like no one wanted to hear my story, and that my story didn't matter. It was a little discouraging in fact. In a way I went in there expecting to inspire and open opportunities. They think they can do something more along the lines of a buyout for a rugby game, but I just feel like it wasn't what I had planned. I know that my time will come when I'll be able to inspire people, I am just not sure when.

My sugar has been crazy again lately, this morning I had my lowest of all mornings [5.8] and before lunch I had one of my highest at lunch time [16.9] It's incredibly hard for me to jump from lows to highs, highs to lows. My head just beats and I feel like I am not all there, it's a scary feeling because I am unaware of what my body is going to do. Tomorrow I work at 6:30 a.m the true test of handling my schedule. I have packed a breakfast, and a snack, and I will get to come home for my lunch and I am done before supper. Just remembering all to pack is a trick. Dex 4, meters, needles, strips, extra snacks, etc. etc. The good thing about working at the daycare is that it is about 5 minutes from my house, so if I ever forgot anything, I can just come home!


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