Thursday, September 15, 2016

Belly Full, Mind Weak.

The first low is usually okay.  As long as you're prepared it's an opportunity to have a piece of fudge or candy that you wouldn't normally have.  But, when the lows persist, there is no worse feeling.  The feeling of being totally out of control of your own body.  The dread of having to stuff carbs down your throat when your belly is full and your mind is weak.   There is nothing fun about getting to roam the kitchen at 2 a.m searching for substance to keep you alive.

Since I started my running journey, I have been going low a lot.  I am constantly checking my car, my purse, my bed-side table making sure that I have restocked my low supplies.  That usually doesn't stop me from wandering into the kitchen regardless looking for something to satisfy my low.  Constantly telling myself, don't eat the whole kitchen.    But, the search for food is only a part of the low. When you have a low after a low after a low, it starts to wear on you emotionally.

I can't compare the emotional exhaust to anything else, but personally, there comes a point when I feel my mind weakening. I can't cope with how tired my body and mind is.  I have been low, over and over again, I have lost sleep, I have eaten all of the fudge, what next?

This could be taken as a sign that exercise and diabetes is too hard to mix. But, hard is okay.  I am willing to figure this out, despite the exhaust and the mental feats. I know that I am not alone in my disease and that many others have sleepless nights because of lows. While it is frustrating, I take this as an opportunity to ask for help, seek better options and really try to master (as much as possible)  running and diabetes and ALL of the lows that come with that.


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