Sunday, June 1, 2014


Yesterday after getting home from a long morning, I felt abnormally hungry. My first instinct was that I was high for some reason because I had other symptoms that gave me that impression. However, I was sitting at a 4.1.  I took the opportunity to have an earlier dinner; however that only led to me being hungry around the normal dinner time... so I ate again.   I couldn't help but feel grossly hungry for the rest of the afternoon. I began snacking as the urge was too strong, literally I couldn't resist.   My blood sugar was rising and I took insulin accordingly.

Like I mentioned I was already feeling like I was high at a 4.1, so when I was actually high, I felt awful. My head was pounding and I could barely keep my eyes open.  Now, I live alone, so the thought of something awful happening does cross my mind every now and then.  I try not to panic because I don't want to live a life fearing my diabetes; however, it is important when you live alone to be honest with yourself, if you think you should check, you should. If you think you should sit down, you should. You can't push yourself, especially when you're alone.

I checked and it looked like it was coming down again. I clearly was on a diabetes roller coaster and the feeling of thrill was hanging on strong.  I decided I would change in my pajamas, put on Bridesmaids (my favourite) drink some Fresca (another favourite next to Diet Coke) and relax with my meter by my side. However, it seems that when I changed into my pajamas I clipped my pump back onto my pajamas but didn't connect myself to it.  I have done this before, but usually in change-rooms. I will be walking around the mall and spot my tubing flying back in forth in the air like a swing being pushed.

Clearly I was out of it, as I fell asleep at around 7:30 p.m and didn't wake back up until 12:30 p.m  I didn't even bother throwing on my glasses to guide myself to bed, I must have just stumbled around and fell back asleep. Although, I did notice I picked up a few things off the floor and placed them neatly on the coffee table, clearly OCD in my sleep as well.

I had a long night however, up to go the bathroom, up to get a glass of water, up to revisit the bathroom, back to the kitchen to get more water (all without glasses I might add!) I felt horrible each time I woke up, my mouth was dry, my head was pounding. I checked and I was sitting in the 20s. I grabbed my pump and gave insulin and fell back asleep.

I had a commitment this morning to go to and had set my alarm for 6 a.m. Well 6 a.m came and I woke with the worst headache and stomach ache. I felt literally like I had been drinking the night before, yet all I did was sleep. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to drive feeling as bad as I did.  I messaged my friend (who also has t1) and let her know. She told me to check my site, which is a pretty standard procedure when things go wrong, but in the middle of the night, all you want to do is a normal person.

I felt around my site, sometimes the cannula will come out or bend and insulin will leak. So, I was looking for a wet site or the potent smell of insulin. Nothing, however, this is when I realized something major, that is, that  I wasn't even hooked up!

Clearly, taking on diabetes alone is a lot of work. It seems simple and to me sometimes I forget how complicated it can be. But it isn't impossible to take care of yourself, it just takes some trial and error and we can't be too hard on ourselves, after all we have a pretty big job.


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