Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Questions, Answers, Feelings, Headaches

In a month it will be five years living with type one diabetes. It's one of those things like your age as you get older, you have to carefully calculate just how long it has been. While I feel like a five year old would know exactly how old she is, '5 and a half!' Living with five years of diabetes is or feels so much longer.

I'd like to say that the almost five years that has passed as been great. Great in the sense that I can write a list of over ten things I am grateful for due to my diagnosis. However, being diagnosed with diabetes is not all good times and celebrations. Rather, a majority of the time it sucks.

Despite it only being five years, a veteran diabetic might tell me that I don't know anything or that I am just a baby diabetic. In reality, no matter how long you've lived with type one diabetes, you become this expert of all things diabetes. Your brain changes, your mind changes, your physical state changes.  For me, five years feels like a lifetime.

I don't really remember eating things without consequence. Obviously I can think of times I ate without checking my blood sugar or taking an injection pre diabetes, but I can't truly think of that girl that didn't care, didn't count, didn't have to worry about a goddamn thing.  I don't remember that girl.

Diabetes has taken what a good day could be and turned it into a million questions and answers.  What am I eating for breakfast? I am not hungry. Too bad you have to eat. How many carbs are in oatmeal? Will this spike my blood sugar? I feel like crap already. Will I go low in class? Should I bring a snack? Where is my insulin pump? Do I have time to change the reservoir? What is my blood sugar? Where did I put my meter? Why is it so high? The list goes on.

These past five years, that feel like fifty have been great, but behind each great moment lies a million thoughts, questions, feelings, answers, fears, fights, stressors and headaches that I have fought.



  1. It seems more like you have LADA. LADA tends to get progressively more difficult to manage as the years pass. Did your doctor ever discuss this with i.e. The results of your antibody and c-peptide tests. I have read your blog and it seems like even your doctor was confuses as to your diagnosis. With non LADA it is very obvious because of ketone levels.
    I suppose there are advantages and disadvantages to having LADA
    Family doctors are confused when they see someone who does not fit the type 2 profile but does not have ketones. That is bc a lot are not familiar with LADA.

    Anyways there are lots of people with LADA on tudiabetes etc. I don't have LADA and was in DKA at diagnosis. My family doctor knew what was wrong from the smell of ketones that permeated the room

    I think this would be an interesting blog topic since I don't think you have talked about you c-peptide or antibody levels

    Happy diaversary. Sounds like you are doing a great job
    - Katie

  2. I've got to say that I've been a juvenile onset for almost 50 years, and it really doesn't seem all that long to me. It's just a part of who I am. Unlike you Kayla, I cannot remember every not being a diabetic since I was 5 when I was diagnosed. I do not count carbohydrates so I don't worry about that. I base my insulin requirements on what my blood sugar levels are and what my entire meal is going to be.

    Now for everyone who reads Kayla's blog, my A1c is below 7 and my doctor is fine in how I take care of myself. I regulate my insulin myself since I've been doing it since I was 9.

    I use a syringe and N & R insulin. The cost of the pump is just too much for me switch. And because of my numerous problems with menopause I cannot tolerate warm insulin. I have to use my insulin right from the refrigerator. Whenever I inject warm insulin, it's like the insulin is warm.

    But happy anniversary to you Kayla. I'm looking forward to my 50th Anniversary because I'll be receiving a medal from the Joslin Diabetes Center’s. I think once you've been a diabetic for longer than 10 years, you may pay attention to how long it's been, but it doesn't consume you as it in the past.

    You never really become an expert on diabetes because you can't be an expert on all diabetics. You are an expert on yourself. You know how diabetes reacts with you and how to manage yourself. They come up with new things so what they are doing now, will be different in 10 years.

    Good luck in with your next 5, 10, and 40 years!

  3. I have read most of your blog, and not sure if you struggle with ketones. I read one entry where you set was kinked and you never mentioned ketones.

    I was just curious about this because i have read most of your entries, and the day you were dx'd you waited in the doctor's office for a few hours after they realized you were diabetic, and then you went home and packed for the hospital and drove yourself.

    Everyone's journey is unique, I was just always curious if you are considered LADA. I was dx'd at 22 and given metformin by my GP. Then I saw an endocrinologist about 2-weeks later. I was admitted to hospital by the endo on the spot because I was in DKA. I had driven myself to the endo apt and everything.

    I am not considered LADA because I was in DKA soon after being dx'd diabetic

    Best wishes to Kayla, Katie and LMR.


    1. I don't believe that I have LADA. I was put on insulin as soon as I was diagnosed as my A1C at the time was 13 and regular blood sugar checks in the hospital were high, but obviously came down with the use of insulin.

      I believe they did all of the tests needed to decide if I was type one/type two and all what is in between. My uncle has type one diabetes and my dad's cousin had type one diabetes, so to be honest it was a shock to me, but genetically speaking there was diabetes in my family.