Thursday, July 5, 2018

You're Doing a Good Job

The way people took care of their diabetes before me, is not the same way in which we take care of our diabetes now.  This is good, this shows us progressing in a direction that could one day make living with diabetes much easier or at least, less hands on.   It's not different than the inventions of microwaves to make cooking faster and more efficient or the invention of cordless telephones that allow you the freedom to roam as you gossip.   As time moves forward we can only hope that advancements in medical technology gets better and better.

For me, I've wore an insulin pump for the past eight years.  Wearing an insulin pump for me has been helpful in managing my diabetes without having to bring the extra supplies, take time to give myself needles, the list goes on.  It has given me freedom and choice.  I've now been wearing the Freestyle Libre for a few months and honestly have been so excited for its possibilities.  Having not poked my finger in awhile, I feel the buzz of change coming for those that manage their diabetes.  No finger pokes? My finger tips won't be so rough, callused and sore.

Like any technology there also comes so much information. Information is faster transmitted and information at your fingertips.  This is helpful, so, so helpful in keeping some level of awareness of what is happening.  With finger pokes I would feel the stress of making sure I tested enough, or remembering to make sure I had enough test strips before heading out the door.  But, now everything I need is attached to my body (minus a couple things). I am almost always aware of what my blood sugar is or is about to do.

There is another part of the technology that also weighs heavy on my mind.  The shame or guilt that comes with blood sugars rising or falling. What did I eat? Why is this happening?   I have so much information and have all the tools and yet nothing can take away the self-inflicted guilt that comes with blood sugar numbers.

I think about my future, wanting to be a mom one day, and knowing that taking care of myself now is important for not only my "today" but also for my "tomorrow."   I embrace those tools that are acting as my guides as I balance along the tight rope, trying not to leap or stumble.  I also remind myself that along with those amazing tools, comes some work on my end of things, something that technology isn't capable of helping, which is my mind and ability to say to myself, "you're doing a good job." 

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