The Blame Game
Having diabetes often makes a visit to the doctor a dreaded experience, as there is invariably bad news of one kind or another. And sometimes the way the doctor talks to you can leave you feeling like you’re at fault. Or maybe you have a fantastic healthcare team, but have experienced blame and judgement from someone else in your life – friend, loved one, complete stranger. Think about a particularly bad instance, how that person talked to you, the words they used and the conversation you had. Now, the game part. Let’s turn this around. If you could turn that person into a puppet, what would you have them say that would leave you feeling empowered and good about yourself? Let’s help teach people how to support us, rather than blame us!
I have had both good and bad experiences of blame. I have left appointments feeling empowered and also left appointments in tears. When a person living with diabetes goes into an appointment, they know that every little thing they have done in the past two weeks to manage their diabetes is going to be combed through. They know that they will have to give explanations, justifications and reasonings. For someone who has been doing fairly well with management, this isn't as much of a worry. For those that are struggling - which is a reality for most, this appointment can be very difficult.
I know exactly the moment that I decided I needed to change my care. I was feeling the 'blame' and was only a couple years into my diagnosis. I felt as if I was getting feedback but was not getting support. I felt threatened that if I did not take care of myself, I was going to lose it all. My privilege of having an insulin pump would disappear and it would be up to me to get my act together.
If I could re create the conversation between health care provider and myself I'd make it something like this:
"We understand that you are living a busy life with school, your social life and diabetes. Please let us know if there is any way we can support your in your diabetes management so that we can help you get to a better place both physically and mentally with your diabetes."
It is only a couple sentences but those couple sentences would have changed my experience. The number one thing I hear from people living with diabetes is that they wish their health care provided saw them as a whole person and not just diabetes. We get busy, we struggle, we feel defeated - but that does not mean that we do not care about our diabetes. We need support.
Kayla
I know exactly the moment that I decided I needed to change my care. I was feeling the 'blame' and was only a couple years into my diagnosis. I felt as if I was getting feedback but was not getting support. I felt threatened that if I did not take care of myself, I was going to lose it all. My privilege of having an insulin pump would disappear and it would be up to me to get my act together.
If I could re create the conversation between health care provider and myself I'd make it something like this:
"We understand that you are living a busy life with school, your social life and diabetes. Please let us know if there is any way we can support your in your diabetes management so that we can help you get to a better place both physically and mentally with your diabetes."
It is only a couple sentences but those couple sentences would have changed my experience. The number one thing I hear from people living with diabetes is that they wish their health care provided saw them as a whole person and not just diabetes. We get busy, we struggle, we feel defeated - but that does not mean that we do not care about our diabetes. We need support.
Kayla
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