|Charlotte from Sex in the City 2 Movie (Thanks Google!)|
I have been extremely stressed lately. To the point that I have given myself hives for the past three weeks which includes the random swelling of whatever body part it feels like swelling, this morning half of my upper lip. I am assuming this is stressed induced as I have ruled out all other allergies etc. I also was told that this was a response I had as a child. I was very attached to my mother (hmm, maybe like said picture above) Anyways, I would not want to leave her, so if there was a class trip, BAM! I would get hives.
While I don't live with my mom anymore, other stresses have replaced that attachment issue. Now it is everything changing and ending, starting and pausing. I have so many ideas of what I want to do, what I need to get, what needs to be finished. I realize this list never stops. It isn't about getting things done, it's about learning how to handle it. But, please, let me rant. I get that everyone has things they have to do and I totally accept all the tasks I take on, but with this added diabetes thing, at any minute I feel like everything can change. The vibrations of my insulin pump going off means a site change, and yes, it's easy and it's quick, but sometimes I just don't want to do it. But like I mentioned this isn't something you can just neglect or send away. It all has to be done.
Tomorrow I booked myself into the spa for an hour pedicure (I had a gift card, I'm not in any means in a position to pay for one myself...) I am hoping that for that hour I can take my mind off whatever is causing my stress. That I can take the time for myself, which I feel selfish for saying, but seriously. Tomorrow my good friend Michelle is also coming by, which will be fun and relaxing since I could use a big laugh and I know that's bound to happen.
I know that diabetes is going to be following me for the rest of my life, so I think that I need to learn to ask for help sometimes, look for advice and not feel horrible for wanting to throw my diabetes supplies out the window and hide in my closet.