While ten years is quite the span in time, I can still picture my eighteen (almost nineteen year old self) in the waiting room. Waiting without any idea what was going on, crying as the doctor told me I had diabetes and then walked away and closed the door. I remember trying to get a cell phone signal in the room so that I could text someone, anyone. I recall the quick drive home after they told me get a bag together because I'd be staying at the hospital for a couple nights, something I'd never done before. I remember the look of panic on my mom's face as she gathered my things together and then drove me to the Brantford General Hospital.
I remember a question I asked the first doctor I saw at the hospital. I asked, "Will I still be able to have a family?" it wasn't something that I was actively planning at the time, having to still complete College and University, but it was an important question for me to ask. I remember him smiling and telling me, "of course." Probably wondering why out of all the things to ask during time of diagnosis, I decided to ask that.
Ten years later, and I am smiling thinking, 'of course' as my husband and I get ready to add a beautiful baby to our family in August.
|Baby O'Connell Arrives in August!|
After that, I remember the doctor, the same one who answered my question about having a family, asking me why I kept smiling, as if I should be in sorrow, or mourning my forever broken pancreas. I remember shrugging my shoulders and not really knowing, but now looking back realize that when in doubt, smiling can take some of the pain away.
The fear I recall was when I was taken up to a room, them not letting me get out of the bed as they pushed me through the hallways and up the elevator. Myself thinking, I can still walk, you know?
I was nervous to be left alone as they asked the visitors give me time to rest, even though I felt that I would be much more restless without them. I was most nervous to not know who laid behind the curtain of my shared room, as I saw some individuals in the waiting room that I imagined were beside me. I wasn't scared about my diabetes, or what life with diabetes meant, which seems to be the way I have combatted my diabetes, without fear, just courage.
|Mount Kilimanjaro 2013|
I want to thank all of the amazing supportive people in my life, some that may have come and gone, but most definitely played an important part along the way. My diabetes journey has been made successful because of all of your understanding and support. Thank you for the people that have read this blog for nearly ten years and have continued to follow along with my journey.
I love you all.
Cheers to Ten Years,