Monday, June 24, 2013

Can't Keep a Smile

This past weekend I attended a baby shower for one of my friends that I have literally grown up with. This was the first baby shower I had attended for one of my own friends, usually it had been my mom's friends or a relative.  I couldn't help but notice that every other person in attendance was pregnant, or at least it seemed that way.  I was so excited and happy for my friend and couldn't believe that we were at this stage in our lives.

That day was pretty busy, I stopped by Vince's parents after wards to have dinner, but then had to leave to babysit for the rest of the night.  After babysitting I went back to Vince's house to go to sleep, which I  was so ready to do by that time.  However, I couldn't get to sleep and I was feeling a sense of sadness overwhelming me.

It isn't that I want to have a baby now but it is a goal of mine to eventually have a baby and I know before I realize it will be that time to start planning.  When I was first diagnosed with diabetes I was curious to know if I could still have a baby. It would have been devastating to me if they told me that I couldn't.  But, all of the doctors and nurses seemed optimistic that it was something that was possible. Since being diagnosed I have met a lot of mothers with diabetes as well as people that are currently pregnant with diabetes.

While it isn't an easy task, much like it isn't always easy for a non diabetic either, I have full faith that one day I will also be able to start a family.  However, for some reason when I was laying in bed I couldn't help but think about the what ifs.  I broke down and surely caught Vince off guard, but he was totally supportive towards me and that is what I needed.

It's hard to live with a disease knowing that it isn't only effecting your blood sugar levels, but also everything else that comes along with living life.  There isn't a time when I get a break from diabetes and as much as a positively try to push through it all, there are times when I can't keep a smile.



  1. You’ve lost a lot of weight, but none off your boobs. Do you put your infusion sets in your boobs ?

    1. Hi Anonymous,

      Wow, quite the question! This seems very strange to me, but maybe you know people that do that?

      I, however, do not put infusion sets in my chest, only my stomach and back.